Sunday, November 29, 2015

WWII Veteran Meets Flower Children

One of the things that The Source Family documentary shows is how Jim Baker went from being a wealthy Hollywood playboy who had been arrested on a couple of occasions for using deadly force and committing bank robberies; into becoming a spiritually realized 'father' or 'teacher', but aside from the short time that Jim Baker spent becoming 'spiritually' enlightened, after sitting before Yogi Bhajan, there was little to qualify him in becoming a 'spiritual' master or leader, much less a wise or holy man.  Yet, that is what Jim Baker came to be seen by his most devoted 'children' or followers:  a wise, holy man.  In Jim Baker's own words he is heard explaining how he felt when he first came across a 'hippie' girl which was his first exposure to the hippies who had been living a life where free love and peace were the prevailing themes.  But, Jim Baker came from my own parent's generation who lived through WWII, and was not someone from my own generation; he had never been a hippie or ever lived a 'hippie' lifestyle; he had never 'dropped out' or lived in a commune at least not until he decided to form his own communal 'family'; and to me; there was a glaring generational gap in how Jim Baker perceived things; especially in how he viewed the roles of the men and women who would comprise his 'new age' or 'aquarian' family.  My own step-Dad, a WWII veteran believed that women had distinct roles that he referred to as 'women's work' such as making meals and housework; a view that he and Jim Baker seemed to share.   I recall when Jim Baker made the analogy of the women or 'angels' in his new found 'tribe' having sex with multiple men in 'the family' the same as where one woman would often sexually 'service' more than one man, during times of war; this bolstered with him instilling the belief that a war between light and darkness was being waged, and that the family members who sat before him were 'warriors of light' fighting the 'dark forces'; this was a recurring theme in much of Father Yod's rhetoric; and although I was dismayed at what Jim Baker was saying; I chose to ignore the alarm bells and red flags and just accepted what Father Yod was saying; believing at the time that he must have everyone's best interests at heart.  But, one thing became very clear in joining The Source Family, and that was that Jim Baker saw the role of women as one of obedient servitude.  The Mormons believe that a woman can only get into the 'kingdom of heaven' through a man, and this is essentially what Jim Baker believed; that a woman's 'liberation' from the chains and shackles of this earthly existence and her only true happiness was through her 'serving and inspiring' a man.  In fact, a woman who chose to 'go it alone' and chose to remain single or independent was seen as being 'masculine' and was looked down upon by Father Yod, because he steadfastly did not believe that women were emotionally equipped to deal with the vicissitudes of life.  Father Yod also did not condone a gay lifestyle and openly condemned it; so when a gay man who joined in the early days divulged to Father Yod his orientation; he was told that he should leave The Source Family.  Jim Baker's intolerance of a gay lifestyle was also indicative of his WWII mentality and generational gap.  So, Jim Baker began to glorify and convince the men who joined his 'family' that they were 'gods' or 'godmen', and he used the analogy of the sun shining constant and life-giving rays on woman (or women), who were seen as 'the moon' dark, changeable and emotional only capable of reflecting her 'suns' light or achieving emotional stability or balance through her man.  Jim Baker believed that a woman's only true lasting happiness was in 'serving' a man, not going out and having a career.  This is what all women who joined The Source Family were expected to believe and adopt as being their role in life; to not only 'serve' one of the suns/sons in 'the family' by taking care of his 'earth trip', which translated to things like preparing his meals and doing his laundry; even brushing his hair, lest a 'sun' or 'godman' had to descend from his pursuit or contemplation of 'spirit' to perform such menial tasks.  Along with 'serving' a son; the women or 'angels' were expected to adopt what I saw as a kind of submissive silent adoration that became the expected normal behavior of women towards their 'godman.'  So many of us who joined The Brotherhood of The Source tried adopting the roles as set out by Father Yod for the women and men in his 'family', even if they did set off alarm bells within many of us.  In my mind, Jim Baker used the free love that many of us had already been experiencing as 'hippies' that was so prevalent during the sixties and early seventies as a vehicle to live out or fulfill his own male fantasy of having sex with multiple women, after he decided to become an 'earthly spiritual father' and to gather his own 'children', because it's much easier to get people to lower their inhibitions and to engage in 'group' sex, if your viewed or believed to be a wise and loving spiritual master or leader; which is exactly what Jim Baker did.  Which is also why it was no wonder that a few of Father Yod's 'women' got into prostitution after the family dispersed, because it was a short step from having sex with multiple men in 'the family' to what some women get paid to do in the 'real' world.  So much for peace and love.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Affectations and Magical Thinking

I thought that I would write about the 'magical thinking' that defined life in The Source Family, and the many affectations that 'family' members adopted; beginning with the way that Jim Baker would often speak with the affectation of 'a guru from India.'  Perhaps by affecting the speech of his own 'spiritual' master, Yogi Bhajan; Jim Baker thought that he'd be perceived as being a 'spiritual master' himself.  Who knows, but I always thought it sounded very pretentious, whenever he began speaking in that way.  It seemed that he would adopt an Indian guru speech affectation whenever there were 'outsiders' present, or non-family members whom he wanted to impress.  Because, Jim Baker was all about putting on a good show.  So much of life in The Source Family was about 'putting on a show' or presentation, and attracting attention.  Often I found Father Yod to be extremely embarrassing, with his speech affectations and his incessant 'teaching' or proselytizing and lecturing often in a loud and bombastic way.  Given Father Yod's presentation, it's no wonder that other family members soon adopted their own 'spiritual' affectations and behaviors, in order to give the appearance of having attained a higher consciousness or some kind of spiritual superiority which seemed to be the expression of many in The Source Family.  Those who became convinced by Father Yod that they were the 'saints' and 'sages' and 'saviors' of the world, dressed all in white following an older man around sporting a beard and long hair doing a good impression of Moses, was a heady mix for some who were willing and eager to adopt their own 'spiritual' persona, who also wanted to be seen as being wise and 'enlightened' or 'chosen' to be in God's army leading the way for mankind; this was the climate that anyone joining The Brotherhood of The Source would have found themselves in.  Initially, what Jim Baker was offering did sound wonderful and appealing.  But, soon like many older men of his generation; Jim Baker succumbed to the allure or enticement of having women prostrate themselves in front of him; and soon saw how accessible they were sexually, especially in his new role of 'earthly spiritual father'; something that many other gurus, swamis and spiritual leaders succumbed to and had become all too common.  If Jim Baker had been able to 'keep it in his pants', perhaps The Brotherhood of The Source might have taken another direction, rather than the one that it did.  Had Jim Baker been able to stay committed and loyal to his new bride; rather than 'the family' becoming a cult where the practice of 'sex magic' took precedence; perhaps something healthy and sustainable might have been created.  But, Jim Baker was a victim of his own sexual desires and inclinations, and his own desire or need to garner attention to himself, by gathering his own group of adoring followers; just as Yogi Bhajan had done.  But unfortunately, Jim Baker decided that it was his role to impregnate as many women as he possibly could in order to create a super race of what he considered 'conscious' Aquarian children and where he began grooming one of the first young women to join his 'family' who was all of fourteen, but who soon decided to leave the group after realizing that she had not joined to break up a marriage, or procreate with a man whom she saw as her 'spiritual father.'  But, the die was cast and Jim Baker continued his acquisition of more and more women who joined his family, while expounding and espousing on 'spirit' and about attaining a 'higher consciousness' in order to lead humanity out of the darkness and into the light.  Adopting 'magical thinking' became the norm within The Source Family, from believing that rain water called 'tahuti water' contained magical properties, or that an 'elemental kingdom' existed where elemental spirits inhabited fire, water, air and earth, to imbuing inanimate objects with talismanic properties, or attaching numen to the places wherever 'the family' resided (like Lanikai Beach on the windward side of Oahu), or how a special 'soma' drink was prepared during a full moon to be used in ceremonial magic (the only drink that contained alcohol), where exhaling aggressively through your nostrils was seen as a way of expelling 'negative' thoughts.  Yes, welcome to the whacky, weird world of the 'magical thinking' that prevailed in The Source Family, and the affectations that would define the entire experience.  Where staring unblinking into the sun at sunrise and sunset was practiced on a regular basis, along with sending imaginary waves from the pineal gland in your brain down through your body into the earth as a way to cleanse your 'ethereal' body.  Life in The Source Family was centered around the belief and practices of 'new age' and occult magic, along with seeing 'signs' in everything.  There was also a large degree of idleness within The Source Family.  There was a lot of 'hanging out' and just doing nothing; especially among the women, since Jim Baker would only allow the men or 'sons' to conduct 'outside' business enterprises or work in the restaurant, due to Father Yod's belief that women were not emotionally equipped to deal with the outside world, and therefore should be protected from it.  There were a few exceptions like allowing women to work in The Source Restaurant, since his 'sons' were nearby, if protection was needed.  A few women were allowed to conduct 'family' business on the 'outside' on occasion; but overall the majority of women spent the day doing all of the menial, household chores such as cleaning, laundry and childcare.  For being an 'Aquarian family', I found the roles of men and women in The Source Family outdated and sexist resembling that in biblical times; especially eschewing the use of doctors and modern medicine.  One of the things that many of us did after being on 'the outside' upon returning to the 'circumvent force' (a kundalini yoga term that Jim Baker adopted) or 'magical boundary' of the family, was to take a cold shower or go into the ocean (when in Hawaii) to wash off the 'bad vibes' that may have attached themselves while being out in the 'maya'....invisible cooties if you will.  So, Father Yod prescribed several 'psychic cleansing' actions to cleanse away any psychic negativity that may have attached to 'family' members who spent time 'outside' in the world. There was quite a lot of magical thinking in The Source Family; like the belief that an adept (an accomplished master of the spiritual realms) just showed up one day at The Father House and presented Father Yod with the Mystic Road (a series of repetitive mental exercises to increase concentration) that has become a fulcrum, by some of Father Yod's 'teachings'; only to have this adept leave never to be seen or heard from again!  Magic!  One of the most common and overused of psychic protections was to aggressively exhale through your nostrils to expel any negative thoughts, or verbally eructing the word "Tau!" as another way to drive out unwanted thoughts, which also became one of the most adopted idiosyncrasies that everyone did in response to something they found unpleasant.....using "tau!" was the equivalent of saying "No More!" or "Enough!." Jim Baker was also really into 'testing' members of his flock, in order to determine their 'spiritual' resolve or commitment to him, and so he would often either kick people out of 'the family', or instruct them to carry out certain tasks as 'a test', because Father Yod believed that having his 'children' overcome challenges or adversity would 'test their mettle.'  Although, I observed that these 'tests' never seemed to extend to those whom Father Yod favored; which is also why it's easy to see why some former family members have only happy memories of their time spent in The Source Family.  A few people were pampered and coddled and given 'special treatment and dispensation' simply for being 'favorites' of Father Yod.  That is how it worked in The Source Family.  It meant that if you were one of his 'favorites' than you were at the receiving end of having money, travel or tools/equipment at your disposal; or if you were one of 'his women', it meant having access to nicer dresses and/or jewelry, as well as the first and best selection of foods set aside for Father Yod; which is why a few of the women who chose to become one of Father Yod's 'women'; saw it as an opportunity to gain status and access to more within 'the family.'  I was in The Source Family for six years and never had one piece of jewelry.  My lack of nice dresses and jewelry of any kind spoke volumes about my own status within the family.  But, then seeking favor or supplicating myself before Jim Baker was not something that I was interested in doing.   But, I guess that's how it was supposed to work in this 'new age' Aquarian family; only those who were the most favored, or devoted or the most appealing or pleasing to Father Yod were given preferential treatment.  Another form of testing imposed by Jim Baker would often be him placing women within 'the family' with one of his 'sons', or instructing one of his 'sons' to accept certain women as their 'angel', even if it meant a woman leaving her spouse or husband to go 'be with' or serve another man (son) in the family.  If someone got a staph infection, it was also seen as 'a test.'  Absolutely everything within the group was seen as some kind of 'spiritual' test.  The prevailing belief of Father Yod was that 'spirit' was guiding his words and actions; a belief that his most devoted believers and followers still purport as being true.  Since Jim Baker was viewed as 'the wisest of the wise' possessing the answers and solutions to everything; a kind of dependent, childlike behavior ensued where some 'family members' would ask his advice or counsel on absolutely everything.  When your entire life is reduced to following the beliefs and edicts of one man, it does not leave much room for individual or autonomous decision-making.  Everyone's actions and speech were scrutinized continually and you either adopted the groupspeak and affectations of everyone else in The Source Family or you left, or were kicked out.  But, magical thinking permeated every aspect of daily life in The Source Family, and is also what lead to or contributed to some of its more tragic outcomes; in believing that 'spirit' guided and directed everything to such an extent that normal emotions or reactions of individuals became anaesthetized.  A perfect example being when Jim Baker crash-landed on the beach and lay there surrounded by a group of his followers who were unsure what to do, because of the indoctrination and groupthink that prevailed that 'Yahowha' was still in control and that 'spirit' would decide his fate.  There were other examples of how healthy, individual emotional responses and behaviors were lacking due to the indoctrination and supplicant behavior by the individual's who comprised The Source Family, to where individual autonomy and decision-making were supplanted with the will of Father Yod and/or 'his women.'  I believe that it was because of the childlike dependence of 'family' members on Father Yod, that the ability to act independently was lost.  Where individuals were unable to respond appropriately, afraid of going against the prevailing groupthink.  Loss of personal autonomy is one of the signature behaviors found in cults; the inability to respond or act accordingly to what is best for the individual, in fear of going against the group.  By only doing what was sanctioned and approved by Father Yod, people became disempowered and enervated.  Although, it is embarrassing to write about being in The Source Family, because most nowadays will read this and say, "what the hell, why would anyone subject themselves to any of that?"; which is why the majority of men and women who shared the same experience of being in The Source Family have chosen to remain silent, out of embarrassment for having subjected themselves to the roles and occult practices expected of them.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

If The Children Were The Most Important

One of the biggest contradictions of Jim Baker aka Father Yod was how many of his actions and behavior seemed completely opposite to the words he espoused, like in his views of 'the children' in The Source Family.  In the early days, before he began impregnating the women around him and before a bumper crop of babies were born, Jim Baker always spoke about the value and importance of the children who had come into The Brotherhood of The Source with their parents.  During that time, it seemed as though Jim Baker truly regarded 'the children' as the promise of the future to be nurtured and cherished; that it was the children who should always be fed and provided for first.  Jim Baker also believed that the children should all live together as a group separate from their parents; rather than children and their parents sleeping together and sharing living space.  So, the children who came into The Source Family with their parents all lived together in a room or space separate from the rest of the family, with mothers rotating shifts to take over what was called 'children's duty.'  You could basically 'drop off' your child with the group and not worry about them, unless it was your turn on 'children's duty.'  But, not long after Jim Baker had impregnated his own legal wife, Robin Baker and then two other women whom he considered to be 'his women'; Jim Baker began to view the children who had been brought into 'the family' with their parents as being 'Piscean.'  The term 'Piscean' was a derogatory term used in The Source Family to denote anyone or anything that represented or resembled the old age that we were leaving behind.  The Piscean Age meaning the astrological age that valued money, power and control; as opposed to the new Age of Aquarius values of love, brotherhood, unity and integrity, and since Father Yod believed that it was his role to create or produce a super race of 'Aquarian' children in the babies being born into The Source Family; he began to view the children born outside what was constantly referred to as 'the circumvent force' of his chosen group of people, as potentially having a negative influence on his babies and so he wanted them kept separate or away from these 'Piscean' children in the family.  Man, what a contradiction!  To go from viewing the children brought into the family by their parents as being the most valued, to being seen as a potential negative influence on his own children!  Jim Baker was afraid that the 'Piscean' children's habits and behaviors might negatively influence his own children.  Which is also probably why he did not seem too concerned when he had the women with children abruptly sent away to live on a parcel of land located outside Makawao, Maui when the threat of social services descending on the compound in Los Angeles became real.  What preempted this evacuation was when a newborn baby developed a serious case of staph and against Father Yod's edict; was taken to a nearby emergency room for treatment, which raised the alarm.  It was because of the threat of the Department of Social Services descending upon The Father House that Father Yod decided to have all of the pregnant women (I was among those) and women with small children quickly shipped off to what were extremely harsh and spartan conditions in an encampment where 'shantytown' conditions prevailed with no indoor facilities, no hot or cold running water with the exception of a hose, very little in the way of shelter; but what made the conditions so much worse was the fact that there was very little food for anyone; especially the children.  The children that were supposedly so 'valued' by our 'earthly spiritual father', Father Yod were forced to live in near-starvation conditions  The only food sources were whatever fruit could be found or picked on any given day, by the two men or 'sons' who were sent along and where many days they returned only with pineapple or breadfruit.  There were also a small ration of wheat berries soaked overnight and eaten raw, as a source of protein.  But, that was it!  While Father Yod was ensconced in comfort back in Los Angeles banging on the kettle drum with a bounty of plenty around him being waited on hand and foot.  Jim Baker also believed that children were like little 'animals' that should be removed from the group whenever they became unruly; and so he implemented what was called 'the box' which was where an unruly child was placed in isolation until they calmed down and became compliant.  The box was used at The Father House in Los Angeles, and utilized again at The Hilo Country Club on the Big Island.  I never liked the idea of 'the box' and know that had my son been old enough; there was no way in hell that I would have allowed anyone to put him into that box!  But, again groupthink took over and dominated every aspect of life within The Source Family; so whatever either Father Yod or his 'council' of women deemed necessary was always implemented.  I won't go into Father Yod's edict for the family members to not use any outside medical help; as I've covered that in other posts, but suffice it to say that the children in 'the family' suffered the most from such a derelict and harmful belief system!  Since writing this post, I found an excellent, concise pdf that I have attached, which applies to what happened in The Source Family cult in the following statements.

"The attachment bond between parent and child is purposely diluted because, to the degree that any one member is attached to another, to that degree she is less attached and dependent upon the leader. His control is thereby diminished."

"Being in a childlike position vis a vis the cult leader, parents relate more like siblings. They have abdicated their role as the executive branch of the family and given over decision making authority to the cult leader who is often given the title of "father" or "mother." Parents function as "middle management" who channel the leader’s ideas of child rearing and their loyalty is tested by how obediently they carry out his orders. Angry and frustrated, parents often displace their feelings onto their children."

"Another consequence is in terms of morality. The cult leader’s conscience, with all its flaws, becomes the standard of morality for the group. All aspects of life are affected, especially sexuality which is also used to control the members.  Sex is either encouraged, but often in prescribed ways, or it is prohibited (except of course for the leader).  Most cults are male dominated (there are a few headed by women), men are taught they are entitled to sex, and marital rape is not uncommon."

Friday, November 20, 2015

There Is No Source Family

I wanted to do a post for the benefit of those who have been given the impression that The Source Family still exists or that it is still a functioning group, which is hardly the case.  I will explain what happened to cause the resurgence to promote Father Yod and The Source Family.  In the early 1990's Sky Saxon (lead singer for The Seeds), and another former long-time family member decided that they would try and profit off the Yahowha 13 albums and so the two of them decided to make a box set of all the albums making a deal with a Japanese label, regardless of the fact that Sky (known as Arelich) had only performed on one of the albums, and the other former family member had never performed on any of the albums or written any of the songs....they just both felt a sense of entitlement to release a box set with no compensation going to any of the other songwriters or musicians!  It is my feeling, that a bad precedent was set when these two individuals released and profited off this box set of all the music that had been produced at The Father House back in 1973, which made it all more enticing for others to want to do the same; especially since none of the songwriters or musicians were monetarily compensated for the release and sales of that box set.  Although, Sky Saxon is still considered a former member of The Source Family, he never actually lived with the group, because Father Yod would not allow Sky's dogs, but he did make an occasional appearance spending a day or two then leave.  So, after the box set came out, a couple of other former members saw that money could be made from the sale of the music that had been produced during a brief window of time when the entire group was living together in Los Angeles, and who then decided that a for-profit corporation should be created, under the guise of 'protecting the family' music; when in truth it was to facilitate two individuals gaining some kind of control.  So 'the source foundation' was formed, along with placing the same two former family members in the positions of President and Vice President (for life) with the prospect of money and notoriety to be had, a book and the consequent documentary were done by these same two individuals leading the newly formed 'foundation'.  That is how the whole resurgence and regurgitation of Father Yod and The Source Family began.  But, until then, most of us who had been in The Source Family had hoped that the entire thing would just be left in the dustbin of the past and be forgotten.  So the statement made by one who is leading the charge about how The Source Family 'was all but flatlined' was not because the group was on some kind of hiatus, but was because most people were just too embarrassed to have their family members, friends or children find out about them having been in a cult!  But, the truth is that there are really only two people who are behind the push to promote and sell Father Yod and The Source Family into the psyche of the general public as being 'sages and seers' of a new age, and any or all of the websites proclaiming to be 'the official site' for 'The Source Family' making statements such as, 'this site represents The Source Family' is just not true, and extremely misleading, because The Source Family no longer exists; it ended the day that Jim Baker jumped off the cliff on Oahu and subsequently died; but much like a body on life support some tried to keep it alive for another year.  So, any website proclaiming to be representative of The Source Family, or Father Yod, or Yahowha are the creation of just one individual, who is intent on spreading the so-called 'teachings' of 'Yahowha' and selling source family merchandise, but who certainly does not represent the entire group of former members.  I am one of those former Source Family members and nothing that this person says or proclaims is representative of me!  None of the websites named Father Yod or Source Family are representative of my present views or opinions, but are only the views and opinions of one person, a person who spent less than six months in The Source Family at the very end, and the small handful of people who are now following that person's lead.  Any website that represents itself as being a Source Family website is misleading and misrepresentative in order to give the impression that the entire body of former family members are behind their site, even using a photograph from forty years ago that has since been photoshopped to add themselves into the photograph, in order to give the appearance of an entire group of people only lends to the misrepresentation.  But, just like in the Wizard of Oz there is only one man behind the curtain pulling all the strings, in order to put on a grand presentation of magic and wonder.  But, it is my feeling that it is misleading to give people the appearance that there is something to join or belong to.  Oh, you can become a fan or a follower of the documentary that was made or try and adopt the 'teachings' of Father Yod, and perhaps someone might even give you an honorary 'Aquarian' name!  But, people need to know that there is no longer a Source Family, and certainly nothing to join.  In my mind, the only true liberation (the title of Jim Baker's book) that I felt after spending six years in this cult was when it finally ended in 1976.  So, I urge anyone who is interested in finding out more about The Source Family to understand and know this; that there are only a very small handful of people who are intent on keeping a mythos surrounding Jim Baker in order to either 'spread' his so-called teachings or to sell merchandise, and so it is only a few people who desperately want the public to shower them with accolades and praise, and even bask in their presence simply for having been members of The Source Family cult forty years ago.  Seriously, that was exactly what two former family members who were behind the documentary were offering when it came out in 2012; the opportunity for someone to pay money to have dinner with them!  The fact that these two people think so highly of themselves that it would be an 'honor' for someone to have dinner with them, was simply beyond the pale for the other former 'source family' members like myself who witnessed the humongous egocentric behavior of these two individuals, one of whom had only spent less than six months in the group at the very end, yet see themselves as an authority on the entire experience.  I don't think so.

Sunday, November 15, 2015


This post is to pay homage to my son's father, Tim Garon for all of the wonderful music that he composed and performed throughout his life.  But, since this blog pertains to 'life in the source family'; I'm primarily reserving this post to that time in his life.  Tim Garon met Jim and Robin Baker at Yogi Bhajan's ashram in Los Angeles in 1969.  Tim's cousin, Shakti Parwha Kaur (Miriam Garon) was the Yogi's personal secretary, and so Tim began attending classes that were held at the ashram and after meeting Jim and Robin; his cousin Shakti got him a job washing dishes at The Source Restaurant.  Tim soon began referring to Jim Baker as 'father', as Jim Baker was just starting his formation of what would become The Source Family, with himself becoming its 'earthly spiritual father'.  Tim spent an entire year with Jim and Robin Baker, along with another man who also became a follower of Jim Baker, before anyone else joined what was initially called The Brotherhood of The Source.  But, as 'the family' grew, Tim found Jim Baker became more and more unapproachable, especially after he displaced and replaced his wife, Robin with so many other women.  So, Tim just came and went as he pleased as he watched what he considered a 'circus show' unfold around Jim Baker, because although Tim held an appreciative fondness towards Jim Baker; he could not stand the worshipful meiny that had formed around him.  Tim Garon was given several names, during the course of the family beginning with Destiny, then Aladdin, briefly David and then finally he got stuck with the name Hom, a name that Tim could not stand. Supposedly the planets made their own individual sounds and Hom was one of those sounds; although I do not recall for which planet.  Tim Garon was also the first singer/songwriter to join 'The Brotherhood of The Source', where Robin Baker, herself an excellent vocalist would often sing with him.  In the very early days of the group, it was Tim who entertained at every 'family' gathering.  But, as more musicians began joining eventually Yahowa 13 took center stage and garnered all of the attention and promotion, and Tim's voice and songs were heard less and less.  After the family ended, Tim wanted no affiliation with The Source Family; yet those promoting Father Yod and The Source Family continued to use and sell his music.  The argument of the two people who are promoting 'all things source' is that Tim had given them verbal permission to use his songs, as long as they did not use his real name.  But, the thing is that Tim died in 2008, and the documentary which features two of Tim's songs was not released until 2012.  Logic and common decency or even courtesy dictates that those two people should have reached out and contacted Tim's heirs to either ask permission or just given a 'heads up.' But neither was extended to either me (his former wife), or Tim's son and heir (our son).  So, when the documentary was being unveiled at SXSW in Austin in 2012 someone called me from the event to tell me that two of Tim's songs had been used, along with video footage of Tim performing one of his songs Woman Beyond The Sun; all unbeknownst to me or his/our son.  The two individuals leading the charge in the revival of 'the source family'' could have easily reached out to me via either email or a phone call, because I had been contacted to ask if I wanted to be interviewed for the documentary and yet not one mention ever of their intentions of taking, using and selling Tim's music.  Tim's son does not receive one dime from the sales of either of his Dad's songs used in the documentary and soundtrack album, or from his songs on Yahowa 13 and 'Father Yod' albums, because again it goes back to the 'sense of entitlement' that some former members feel they have to take, license and sell whatever they want with little or no compensation going to the individuals whose songs and music they have been so freely licensing!  This is the most disturbing aspect of two people's appropriation of the entire story of The Source Family---two people who behave as though the entire story/narrative belongs to them, along with anything that was created during the time that we all lived together making it their own property, especially all of the music that was made.  My only recourse is to hire a music attorney or sign new licensing agreements with a new set of individuals, who now want to profit from music sales.  Even if Tim did give a verbal consent for his songs or music from 40 years ago to be used---the claim made by the president and vp of the now defunct 'source foundation'; the fact that Tim never signed a damn thing with those two should have given them pause from just going ahead and taking and using his music!  It is my belief that some kind of consideration should have been given to Tim's heirs ie his son and me.  But, I am dismissed and labeled by 'the foundation' prez as being, 'the out of touch ex-wife', whom he feels has no claim to Tim's music.  Yet, Tim's own son was also completely sidestepped and circumvented.  What's done is done, yet no restitution of any kind has been allotted or offered to Tim's son without agreeing to sign 'source foundation' contracts in what I saw as a 'friendly form of extortion', until just recently.  In a long overdue and pathetic effort on the part of the president of the source foundation, upon the announcement of the dissolution of his foundation, an accounting was given in the amount of $30.40 to be paid to Tim's son for the sale and use of his Dad's songs and music for all these years, and in what was meant to be a personal and petty dig at me, noted that payment was ONLY to be paid to my son (not me)!  Ha ha ha!  So, Tim's son has finally been offered some kind of recompense for the sale and use of his Dad's song on a Yahowa 13 album that has been on sale since the early nineties, while completely omitting any remuneration for Tim's song Every Morning, because the prez of the source foundation admitted to having no knowledge of that being Tim's song; which only goes to prove the disconnect of those who have wanted to profit off all of the music, but who have no idea themselves who wrote what song or who was performing on any of it!  Unbelievable. The photo below was taken at The Father House of Tim singing/performing for the entire group with Jim Baker aka Father Yod behind him. 

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Sex That Was Not Magic

I was almost thinking of using the title "No Condoms Here" for this post, rather than "Sex That Was Not Magic", because with all of the exchange of bodily fluids that was promoted by Father Yod; it presented a frightening scenario of health concerns and complications resulting from the unprotected sex of an entire group of people engaging in a form of sexual 'musical chairs' where the exchange of sexual partners within The Source Family was seen as an everyday thing, because Jim Baker encouraged all of the women and men to have sex with whomever they wanted in 'the family'; even placing people with certain partners. Yes, Father Yod was continually messing with people's lives in 'his family.' Marriages and relationships were often destroyed, under the open relationship environment that Father Yod created. Even though Jim Baker legally married Robin Baker in 1970, that did not stop or prevent him from having sexual relationships with any of the other women in The Source Family. So, not long after his marriage to Robin, when more and more women began to join 'his family', Jim Baker deconstructed the institution of marriage, in order to live out or facilitate his own acquisition of 'spiritual wives'. So, the wide-eyed innocence and youthful exuberance that many of us had in joining The Brotherhood of The Source, was soon lost and turned into dismay and disquiet by being induced into adopting some of the practices of our newfound 'earthly spiritual father', who believed it was for our 'spiritual growth.' The most disturbing of these practices was the ceremonial 'sex magic' that Father Yod began to practice. So, the joyful exhilaration that many of us had in anticipation of practicing meditation to explore cosmic consciousness was soon replaced with trepidation and consternation. When Jim Baker began reading Aleister Crowley's writings on 'sex magick' and then decided that all of 'the family' members should engage in his adaptation of ceremonial sex; things began to change dramatically. There were two acceptable ways of having sex in The Source Family; one was the most common called 'dionism' (not sure of how it was spelled, because it wasn't written down) where the man held his seed (except to procreate), in an upright sitting tantric yoga position; this was the most commonly practiced 'sex magic' that Jim Baker extolled and performed with his entourage of women, and which seemed rather benign and even subdued. But, then Jim Baker decided to take having sex to a whole other level by adopting and using Aleister Crowley's 'sex magick' of a ceremonial nature, which included semen and a woman's menstrual cycle that was referred to as qudosh within The Source Family (the reader can draw their own conclusions, because that's the extent of what I am willing to go on the subject). In my opinion, the practice of qudosh cast a shadow over the entire dynamic of The Source Family, and was the reason that many chose to leave the group; and is also the main reason that most who engaged in this practice, under the direction of Father Yod want absolutely no affiliation with The Source Family any longer. When Jim Baker made 'sex magic' the predominant focus of his so-called 'teachings', it created a pervasive and underlying sense of coercion and shame in the majority of former Source Family members that, in my opinion continues to this day. That is also the main reason that no one speaks openly about the 'sex magic' that was performed in The Source Family, because it is just too embarrassing for anyone to admit to having participated. Although, those who are intent on promoting Father Yod and The Source Family when asked about sex in 'the family' cautiously say that it was a kind of 'tantric sex.' But over forty years has passed and I feel that it's time that the truth and the reality of what really went on in The Source Family is finally revealed; even if faced with having a lifetime of regret, which is what Jim Baker threatened would happen if anyone from 'the family' divulged what the 'sex magick' was that he had imposed on everyone. When in reality, it is my opinion that the majority of former members have a lifetime of regret for ever agreeing to participate in such an unhealthy and abusive practice.  Everyone whom I've ever spoken to who was in 'the source family' along with me, agree that the practice of qudosh is the biggest regret they have from the experience; especially most all of the women.  It is my belief that an unsuspecting public are now being exposed to the story of Jim Baker and The Source Family story as being representative of a 'new age' as being beacons of health; when having unprotected sex within a large group of almost complete strangers is hardly a recipe for health, in my mind. Which is probably what lead to an outbreak of hepatitis among 'the family', when we were all living at The Hilo Country Club. Several people came down with what was referred to as 'golden spell', a friendly term for hepatitis. It is for this reason why so many people who were in The Source Family were mortified to see 'the story' of Jim Baker and The Source Family being promoted and publicized; to be put under the scrutiny of the public; knowing full well that the awful secrets and sexual practices of 'the family' might eventually be revealed. So, again in what began for many with happy, joyful feelings in having found a group of like-minded people who were also intent on spreading peace and love, soon morphed into something which ended up creating a sense of coercion, shame, resentment and embarrassment in those who were compelled by Father Yod in performing something which nobody signed up for initially; but soon became the most important and predominant of Father Yod's 'teachings' and in my opinion, began the downward spiral of the group. The demand and expectation of his converts to follow in his example and perform 'sex magic' accordingly created an extremely stressful environment. Jim Baker's expectation for the women in 'the family' to perform 'sex magic' often with men they barely knew, only added to the stress and disempowerment that so many women were already feeling; as if it was not demeaning enough that your only role in life as a woman as deemed by Father Yod was 'to serve a man', and then having the added pressure and expectation of performing 'sex magic' with men whom your only connection was that you both happened to be in The Source Family at the same time!  Breaking down the personal boundaries of individuals, especially of those between married couples is something that has been done in countless other cults, and is how Jim Baker was able to implement his version of 'ceremonial sex magic' into The Source Family.  I recently found this excellent compendium about Aleister Crowley and the reasons and origins of his brand of 'sex magick' for anyone interested in gaining a better understanding of the ceremonial 'sex magic' that Jim Baker adopted and imposed on his followers in The Source Family.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

A Cautionary Tale

Life in The Source Family After spending six years of my life in the cult that was The Source Family from 1970 until 1976, I feel that qualifies me to speak out against the continued proliferation and promotion of either Jim Baker as being some kind of messiah, or life in The Source Family as being a 'new age' lotusland.  It is my firsthand experiences of being in The Source Family that have influenced and shaped the harsh opinions and views that I now hold about the man, Jim Baker who lead a group of people down a slippery slope of isolation and separation from the rest of society, by adopting and following his belief system; a belief system that convinced his followers they were chosen and saviors, and like other cult leaders like Jim Jones and The People's Temple wanted to remove and isolate his flock to a remote area, preferably outside the US; that is what Jim Baker was also intent on doing.  Jim Baker aka Father Yod sent his 'sons' to Costa Rica and other places to look for land starting in the very early days of 'the family'; to look for a paradise on earth where the entire Source Family could relocate, in order to create his idea of utopia.  Moving the entire group to Hawaii; was the closest that Jim Baker came to fulfilling that desire or utopian dream of his; but which only resulted in near starvation conditions, serious outbreaks of staph; and a hostile reception by locals.  So, there are many reasons why I believe the story of The Source Family a cautionary one; as opposed to the idealized and glamorized version that some former family members would rather present, along with a kind of religious extremism and a worshipful idolatry in the belief that the letters YHVH are the true name of God, which Jim Baker adopted as being the bulwark of his teachings and is the other motivating factor why some would like to promote Jim Baker into sainthood.  So, by taking and using YHVH or Yod He Vau He as though it were Jim Baker's own creation; it has become the foundation for some former family members to form or create a quasi religious following around Jim Baker aka Yahowha.  But, my personal belief is that The Source Family was a complete failure....a spiritual/communal experiment gone awry, because of the leader's belief in himself being God; where he continually transgressed the personal boundaries of women (some very young) using his position of power and influence as their 'spiritual father' to have ongoing sexual relationships with him, never seeming to be satisfied with the growing number of females already surrounding him, but seeking conquest of any new attractive female who made the mistake of joining The Source Family.  It is my belief that Jim Baker wrecked havoc emotionally and often times physically on his follower's lives', which some would rather be completely forgotten.  Besides, it's easier to sell Jim Baker as being a saint or a hero; if his image and memory are kept squeaky clean and impeccable, and anything wrong or sordid, unhealthy or misguided, or detrimental are either forgotten about or explained away by attaching 'spirituality' or 'magical thinking', especially if very few former members are willing to come forward and challenge the lotusland image of life in The Source Family.  The Source Family never did any humanitarian work; it didn't give back to the community or society at large, or help the world in any meaningful way; we didn't even grow our own vegetables or even recycle.  Everything and everyone was focused on and revolved around the fulfillment of Jim Baker's desires and directives; which quickly had devolved into him and 'his women' where an almost incessant attendance and fawning adoration seemed to be required.  I observed the entire thing play out, until the bitter end; until Jim Baker had nowhere else to go; and was looking for a way to be released from the situation that he had created and found himself.  The Source Family became a group of dependent, indolent, ineffectual followers of Jim Baker; where he had accumulated a dozen or more women around him, where bickering and positioning were playing out on a continual basis; and he just wanted out.  It was a recipe for disaster, when a religious or spiritual leader wants to remove his flock to live an isolated existence, which played out on Kauai when the entire group moved to some land and set up a compound, surrounded by extremely nervous, unwelcoming locals.  Fear set in and what might happen; and as seen in other cults a mass suicide could have easily ensued within The Source Family cult compound; because that is the extent of the worshipful adoration that some had for their spiritual 'father' Jim Baker.  Following one person to such an extreme that you give up your own personal autonomy, where your voice and independent thinking are silenced and discouraged by the groupthink rampant in all cults; especially where the leader is seen as a visionary, adept or messiah; to me is one of the greatest of human follies.  Which is another reason that I feel compelled to disabuse anyone who wants to elevate, sanctify or idolize Jim Baker as heralding in a 'new age', and to encourage anyone interested in The Source Family or mesmerized by any of the hyperbole surrounding its promotion; to see it for what it really was; a litmus test for what happens when people decide to follow and idealize, even worship one person.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

The Wacko World of Yogi Bhajan

I encourage anyone who is interested in learning more about Jim Baker and The Source Family, to check out The Wacko World of Yogi Bhajan forum; which in my mind is essential reading in order to gain a better understanding of the 'spiritual' tree that the apple, Jim Baker fell from.  Jim Baker considered Yogi Bhajan his 'spiritual father' and so he is seen as the grandfather of The Source Family.  It is my view that to understand the mindset and belief of Jim Baker and why he started his own 'family'; one needs to learn more about his own 'spiritual' master or teacher.  It always seemed to me that Jim Baker was trying to outdo Yogi Bhajan, or impress him either with the amount of followers that he had acquired, or with the music that was coming out of the group.  You can hear Father Yod speaking on the Breath track Woman Beyond The Sun that I posted saying, "Send this tape of this morning's class to Yogi Bhajan.  I love to blow that old yogi out."  To me, this sounded like a man trying to impress or outdo another.  Jim Baker adopted and integrated many of the kundalini yoga exercises that he learned while with Yogi Bhajan, as part of his 'teachings' in The Source Family.  So, Yogi Bhajan was held in high esteem for being Jim Baker's 'spiritual teacher' and was shown the same respect and reverence as shown to Jim Baker.  So, it is my belief that in reading and learning about Yogi Bhajan, it will give people a better understanding of Jim Baker, because many of his actions and behaviors mirrored that of the Yogi.  But, where it turns out Yogi Bhajan secretly had a bevy of women referred to as 'secretaries' that he was sexually involved; Jim Baker trumped that by brazenly and openly having 'spiritual wives' in The Source Family.  Jim Baker believed that he had surpassed the Yogi by openly having sex with multiple women within his group; as opposed to the clandestine trysts carried out by Yogi Bhajan.  But, they both seemed to share the desire for ostentatious displays of having wealth and affluence; although Jim Baker could only afford to acquire one used Rolls Royce, with the assistance of an older man who joined The Source Family.  So, although the 'source' documentary gives the impression that Jim Baker aka Father Yod drove around in a Rolls Royce for the entire duration of The Source Family; that was certainly not the case; but was only something that served more as a prop, to give the appearance of The Source Family having wealth.  The white Rolls Royce that has been featured in several of the publicity shots surrounding the promotion of Father Yod and The Source Family was only used for a brief period of time in Los Angeles, when the entire group was living at The Father House, in order to help promote The Source Family in the hopes of attracting people with money into joining the family; because funds needed to support 100+ people was putting a strain on the income generated by The Source Restaurant, and so Jim Baker set about attracting and bringing in more lucrative prospects by 'putting on a show' and making an appearance around Hollywood.  But, it was all smoke and mirrors; an illusion, which is why I encourage anyone interested in how Jim Baker became a 'spiritual father' to learn more about Yogi Bhajan; the man who is considered the grandfather of The Source Family.  I have included a few of the statements written by a woman who remained with Bhajan for years, where I found many of the same behaviors playing out in The Source Family.  Many of the same kinds of behaviors found in Yogi Bhajan's cult played out in The Source Family; especially in both men's behavior and treatment of women; similarities that cannot be ignored and give a much better understanding of Jim Baker and the acquisition of his own group of women, or 'secretaries' as they were called in Bhajan's cult.

"Yogi Bhajan may not have been a great spiritual teacher, but there is no doubt that he was a master at acting like a great spiritual teacher."
"In just the same way, a cult leader like Yogi Bhajan cannot pull off his scam unless he captures the devotion and adoration of the women around him. Fundamentally, therefore, all black magicians are also gigolos."
"It was Yogi Bhajan's goal to make the women of his cult independent of all men except himself."
"As long as they played their roles devotedly, Yogi Bhajan's women were given a great deal of status, political power within the organization, financial security and lots of cool jewelry."

This photo was taken in the early days of The Brotherhood of the Source which was probably the only time, that I can recall where Yogi Bhajan made an appearance.  This was outside in the dirt parking lot of The Source Restaurant, during an open 'family' concert.  Also, I just happened to be sitting in the row behind, that day.

Friday, November 6, 2015

A Colossal Mistake

Les Adam, or Rhythm as he was called in The Source Family died recently, but he and I had several conversations over the past couple of years about our most vivid memories of being in 'the family', and one of his most profound and moving was when he recounted being kicked out by 'the council' which was the ruling body of Jim Baker's 'women' and given $50 and told to leave the group; forced to leave behind his infant son and his son's mother, because he did not want them to follow him out onto the streets of Honolulu, with only $50 dollars in his pocket not knowing where he was going, or what he was going to do next.  All this because of a simple misunderstanding between Les and a local man.  After Jim Baker died and Makushla became the ersatz 'head' of 'the family', all of the pandering and fawning that had been showered on Father Yod/Yahowha was then shifted to her. Although a couple of the more aggressive and self-serving 'council women' manipulated the decisions of the new 'head' of the floundering Source Family; who was being bolstered and held up and advised by these more aggressive 'council' women who had been trying to run 'the family' for quite some time, who were now given free reign to do as they pleased; which was to dictate how the Source Family members should behave or act, meting out their own form of justice. So, in what was a simple miscommunication between Les and an 'outsider' a local man who had befriended a couple of 'family' members and who had started attending morning class; found his bicycle missing one morning, because Les had taken and ridden the bike to 'class' or morning meditation in what was a complete misunderstanding.  Les wasn't stealing the man's bike, nor did he have any malicious intent in taking and using the man's bike, but because this local man was providing financial assistance to the council of Yahowha's women; they sided with him and made the decision to kick Les out of the family in order to teach him a lesson; when primarily it was to show their unanimous support for the new convert who was providing them with financial assistance. So, Les who had been a Source Family member for years; who had contributed volumes to the entire body of albums and music that were produced at The Father House in Los Angeles, and who was once one of Jim Baker's most valued sons was cast out and made to leave by 'the council' of women headed by Makushla. This was just one example of the kind of justice meted out by Jim Baker's 'council' of women both during and after his death; one glaring self-serving bias after another by the group of women who became, what I considered the overlords of The Source Family.  Unbelievably, a few of these women continue to see themselves as being 'wives' and 'women' of "Yahowha", who desperately want to try and keep up the artifice, some continuing to pay reverence and homage to Makushla; the woman who Jim Baker replaced his wife, Robin Baker with as his numero uno woman, in their continued pandering and reinforcing Makushla as being Jim Baker's or rather 'Yahowha's Mother/Angel' in their desire to keep the 'cult of Yahowha' alive and well.  Mother/angel was a term used by Jim Baker to denote 'his women' or the women whom he began to acquire around him.  If a woman was designated as only being an 'angel', that meant she only served a son, and not the great leader Jim Baker.  But, my feeling is that the women who continue to refer to themselves as being a 'woman of Yahowha' really need to get over themselves, because the reality is no such thing exists, and was a sham and false pretense to begin with!  It is my feeling any woman who still considers herself one of the 'wives' or 'women of Yahowha' would do better to shower their love and devotion on the men or husbands they have in their present lives rather than on a man, who towards the end of his life realized what a colossal mistake that he had made in accumulating so many women around him, along with the entire dependent, indigent and ineffectual group of followers that he had acquired and just wanted out.

I created a video comprised of famous paintings of women to showcase Les Adam's (Rhythm's) beautiful and haunting song Woman; a song that was also used in the documentary, but where Les received no credit.  Les wrote the song and performed on this track.  Woman is also included on the 1973 album titled All Or Nothing At All in which none of the individual songwriters in 'the family' at the time received credit for either their songs or their performances, but rather was titled 'Father Yod and The Spirit of '76' to convey all credit to 'Father Yod' while obscuring the identities of the people who actually made the music!  Welcome to cult mentality at its finest.

Another of Les Adam's songs written and performed while in The Source Family titled Edge of A Dream, also featured on the Savage Sons of Yahowa album.

This song Welcome To The Country written and performed by Les Adam, was one of the songs presented to A&M Records who were interested in signing Breath to a record deal; but after Father Yod was told that A&M Records was not willing to make it a Source Family contract, but were only willing to sign the individual musicians; he/Father Yod said no and put the kibosh on the whole thing!

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

The Delusion Continues

One of the sad, but remarkable things about The Source Family, something which ended in 1976 after its spiritual leader, Jim Baker died a year earlier in an ill-advised hang gliding attempt; is how some of its former members insist on keeping it all going.  There are those who continue to exalt Jim Baker and to immortalize him, along with the perpetuation and presentation of former family members as being 'special' and 'chosen'; some claiming lofty titles such as 'high priestess' and 'keeper of the temple'.  There are some who want to create a mythos around Father Yod and The Source Family.  There are some former family members who continue to go by the name that Jim Baker gave them forty years ago, something that facebook has become increasingly intolerant of people who use these fictitious names.  Those individuals who still only go by the 'aquarian' name that Jim Baker gave them over forty years ago attach some kind of special status to their names; some to such an extreme that their entire identities are wrapped up in those names.  The personal boundaries of each and every individual were blurred and trespassed upon in The Source Family and in many ways continues to be the case where a creepy familiarity is perpetuated in order to make people feel they still belong to 'the club', in order to give the appearance of a unified group of people being behind the continued sales and marketing of 'source family' items by one individual with a financial investment in 'selling' Jim Baker and the story of The Source Family to the public.  The people who want to profit off the story of Father Yod and The Source Family desperately try to give the appearance of an entire group of former 'source family' members behind them which is just not true.  Jim Baker was constantly elaborating and expounding on how The Source Family and its members were going to lead the way for the rest of humanity; a belief that some former family members relished and continue to believe in and embrace.  But, the thing is; that both Tim Garon and I along with others wanted nothing more to do with The Source Family, after we all dispersed in 1976; but no one has been allowed to extricate ourselves from being included in the revival and resuscitation of the defunct Source Family!  You would think that after forty years; anyone who would rather not have their photos or their identity or their music included in the continued proliferation and promotion of The Source Family would be allowed to do so!  But, that is not the case.  Every individual who was in The Source Family is forced to have their photographs, their stories and their voices and music taken and used in the ongoing self-promotion of one woman who feels she has the inherent right to profit off the entire life story of Jim Baker and as being the only 'authority' on what was once The Source Family.  Tim Garon and I wanted nothing more to do with The Source Family, after it all ended in 1976; yet the imperious and impervious attitudes of some former members feel they know better and so they have taken and used Tim's music; placing their stamp of ownership on his songs by labeling it as 'Source Family music' entering into distribution and licensing agreements with outside entities like Drag City to sell/distribute albums containing Tim's songs and doing all of that without any written agreements!  The same individuals also refuse to allow Tim's son/our son to have a copy of the video of his own Dad performing his song Woman Beyond The Sun that was used in their documentary without even giving Tim an iota of credit!  Selfish, greedy, grasping individuals concerned with their own self-interests and self-promotion ignore every other former member who doesn't support them or agree with what they're doing in their ongoing promotion of The Source Family.  It's the same kind of arrogant and imperious spiritual ego that was prevalent in the group forty years ago when Jim Baker nurtured it which still exists today.  It's the same kind of entitlement that was nurtured and fed during 'the family' where some transgressed the personal boundaries of others by taking and commandeering their personal effects.  One individual continues to take and use, cut up and paste together photographs of former members in order to further the delusion that The Source Family still exists, and no matter how many times you may ask or implore this person to please not take and use either your own image or that of your own actual family members in the continued promotion of 'the source family'; your request is denied.  But, to understand this delusional mindset better that some former Source Family members continue to exhibit; you have to understand how Jim Baker aka Father Yod aka Yahowha created it and encouraged, nurtured humongous egos with the belief that those in The Source Family were the 'saints and sages' and 'world saviors' of the 'Golden Age' or 'The Aquarian Age'; heady stuff to be told by someone whom you'd adopted as your 'earthly spiritual father'; yet a deluded magical thinking that some former family members continue to possess.  As found in any cult, its members adopt an 'us versus them' mentality where they view/see themselves as being separate and apart from the rest of humanity, even as seeing themselves as 'guardians' or 'saviors' of mankind.  This was the kind of imperious and arrogant 'spiritual ego' or attitude that was implanted and cultivated by Jim Baker in the minds of the individuals who comprised his 'family' who saw themselves as 'the guardian wall' of the world, and whether anyone wants to separate from or distance themselves completely from any and all association with The Source Family out of sheer embarrassment is unable to do that; and the people who still use the last name of 'Aquarian' continue to promote and perpetuate the deluded belief that The Source Family still exists.

Monday, November 2, 2015

The Brainwashing of Cults

I am going to attempt to explain how the majority of women who were in The Source Family, especially the women with babies and small children, were placed in an extremely helpless and vulnerable position within the social structure of the group, with the help of the excellent explanations on cult mind control that I have included. From day one, Jim Baker espoused that women were like the moon; changeable, emotional, and dependent on their man, or sun (using the life-giving rays of the sun as a metaphor for man) for everything in their lives.  Jim Baker also believed that women were emotionally ill-equipped to deal with the outside world, and so he did not want to see any of the women in the family working in the outside world, or the maya (maya In Vedic philosophy meaning the limited, physical reality) exposed to all the negative vibrations of the big, bad outside world or the sexual lust of men who were not in 'the family' brainwashing us all into adopting and integrating his worldview of a woman's role, as being our own.  But, this is what happens in a cult, and that is what happened in The Source Family.  The majority of people who joined The Source Family adopted Jim Baker's words and 'teachings'/worldview as being their own.  Also, most of us gave up all our belongings upon joining the family and so we no longer owned cars or had money of our own (although, it turned out some still did), or conventional clothing and shoes, much less underwear.  No one had what was considered normal or acceptable clothing or attire, or the resources in which to go out and look for work, even if any of us had wanted to; it was just not possible, under the circumstances that we had all found ourselves.  Which is why when one of the most devoted male followers of Jim Baker recently stated that the women who were in The Source Family, who suffered under the directives of Father Yod had been responsible for themselves and should have gone out to look for work an absurd thing to say.  But his statement highlights perfectly the continued refusal of some former Source Family members in admitting or accepting the fact that The Source Family was a cult, and that we all were brainwashed into adopting and accepting the particular roles for men and women, as laid out by Jim Baker in the formation of his 'Aquarian family.'  In fact, some of the men who were in the family blame the women for everything that went wrong within the group, rather than placing any blame on their hero, Jim Baker.  But then men in The Source Family were seen as 'gods' or 'suns' where a woman's only role in life was to 'serve and inspire' her God man, or sun ie son.  The word 'serve' was the exact term used by Jim Baker.  A woman's role of 'serving' a son in The Source Family included making his meals and serving it to him, doing his laundry, giving him foot and full body massages, making him clothing, to performing 'sex magic' as prescribed by Jim Baker.  I observed a preferential treatment and coddling of several of the men by Jim Baker; one where no doubt a good ole' boy mentality began to play out between Jim Baker and his 'sons' in who could attract or keep the most women, because Jim Baker would continually point out or brag about how women were only attracted to the most powerful and constant 'sun' meaning himself.  Because attracting women, or 'angels' as Jim Baker referred to any potential new female member was of paramount importance to him.  Jim Baker was constantly trolling and looking for new prospective 'angels' to join the ranks of the other women within The Source Family.  Which, by the way; when Jim Baker performed with Yahowha 13 at a local high school of all places; seemed so glaringly inappropriate to me!  Jim Baker was trolling for new female converts at a local high school!  Which also begs the question of why would a principal allow the leader of a cult to sing and perform on their campus!  That still baffles me.  So, considering the treatment that Jim Baker expected the women, or 'angels' to perform for his 'sons'; it came as no surprise when I came under attack by a couple of these men, who were in The Source Family who do not want to hear what I have to say, or any other woman who was in The Source Family, who openly speaks out or talks about their hero in a disparaging way.  But, after forty years; I feel that it is time that the truth about what really went on in The Source Family is told or exposed; as being the cult that it was, and not the 'new age' ideal Aquarian family or tribe of leaders or 'forerunners of the Aquarian Age' that some are trying to foist upon the public.  In fact, more people got into drugs and alcohol immediately after the family dispersed; than I care to know about; and if some want to promote The Source Family as being representative of a 'new age' where only light and love prevail, that is their prerogative; but mine is to present a more realistic and honest view about what life was like in this particular 'new age' cult; especially the malaise that engulfed the women who existed in a kind of helpless limbo where their only role was to be obedient and serve a man.  The following statement was one that Jim Baker told the women they were to say, if they found themselves embroiled in an argument or disagreement with their 'man', "You are right.  I am wrong.  It is the will of God."  The following statements about brainwashing were taken from the website that I've included below.

To varying degrees, believers can experience a sort of refined mania of inspiration, almost like a drug high, when they are in the hubris phase, identifying with their imaginary idealized new self, with its enhanced understanding and kindness, etc. This inspiration is pleasant and even intoxicating in itself, and it may also be interpreted as a sign of spiritual progress, as a glimpse of a higher reality, or as evidence of the truth of the belief system. This is all part of the circular, solipsistic, self-validating nature of a cult belief system.
The most effective mind-control is the kind that isn't recognized by the victim as any kind of manipulation. You don't feel it, you think you are in control.
Briefly, this is how it works. A cult promotes its cultish belief system, and then believers control their own minds, as they train their minds and reform their personalities, in accordance with the tenets of their cultish new belief system.
Understanding the disorientating, drug-like nature of a cult belief system and worldview is the key to understanding cult mind control.
Cults promote a belief system which is utopian and idealistic, and also dualistic and bi-polar in nature. Dualistic, in the sense that they tend to see the world in terms of two opposite poles, such as pure good and evil, the saved and the fallen, the enlightened and the ignorant, etc.
Cult belief systems are also bi-polar in psychological terms, rather like Bi-polar disorder or manic-depression. Cults promote a vision of an ideal 'new life' or 'new self', which members believe they can attain by following the cult teachings.

I also wanted to include this excellent YouTube video that explains exactly how cults work.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Joining The Source Family

When I first joined The Brotherhood of The Source (it's original name) in 1970, it was a fun and rather exciting experience.  It was all so different; gathering together at dawn every morning to 'meditate' and listen to Jim Baker speak and espouse his 'teachings' based on his book Liberation, adopting a 'new age' persona in wearing all white clothing, keeping our hair long and looking more biblical with each passing day.  Finding not only a seemingly hip, older 'spiritual father', but a livelihood as well; an immediate oasis or refuge from the streets of LA to the warm and welcoming cocoon-like life in Jim Baker's 'aquarian' family.  There was no exam, no entrance fee, nothing needed in order to qualify anyone for joining the brotherhood.  All that was required of anyone was attending morning meditation, and usually working in The Source Restaurant.  Otherwise, pretty much anyone who wanted could join The Source Family, which also attracted some bizarre personalities.  Anyone even showing a passing interest, who may have only attended a class or two is now considered 'a source family' member, though.  Bud Cort, the actor was one of those people.  He never actually joined the family, nor did he ever live with the rest of us.  In fact, I believe that he only showed up for class once or twice, when classes were still being held in the Source Restaurant, prior to all of us moving into The Mother House.  Yet, his name is listed as having been a Source Family member; and quite a long list it has become.  It has grown to ludicrous proportions.  There was an open door policy, though; so anyone could come and go; leave whenever they wanted and even return if they wanted.  So, many people came and went over the six years that The Source Family was in existence.  Although, for those who are keeping track, whether someone spent one hour or one day; they are still considered a member of The Source Family.  So, longevity or lack of also did not exclude anyone from being listed as a Source Family member.  Funnily, this exact same kind of belief continues to this day, by a few who desire to keep the entire thing going; and so anyone who wishes to adopt Jim Baker as their 'spiritual father', or simply has become a fan or follower is adopted into The Source Family!  Amazing how that works.  Absolutely anyone who chooses to adopt Father Yod as their 'earthly spiritual father', even though the man has been dead for over forty years; can still become a member of The Source Family!  But, I believe that is how a religion is formed, by former devotees of a supposedly holy or spiritual leader continuing to proliferate and spread the words and 'teachings' of their hero or spiritual leader in the hopes that others will follow the same path.  Nothing brings some more joy, than to see other people copying or emulating in either speech or dress their beloved, but deceased spiritual leader.  But, the truths and realities behind the facade or outward appearance of The Source Family is, in my view; what the public should know about, before they decide to idealize, copy or emulate Jim Baker's 'aquarian family.'  When an entire group of people all adopt the same clothing, the exact same appearance or look in behavior and speech; it's a pretty good indication of a cult and not one big happy family, as some would have you believe of The Source Family.