Saturday, December 26, 2015

Absurd Pandering Behaviors

As Father Yod gathered more and more of the women who populated The Source Family in becoming what he called 'his' women, the degree of absurd pandering and pampered attention paid to him grew to ludicrous proportions to where he was never left alone, but always had an entourage of women following him around attending to his every need; like when an entourage of his 'women' would even accompany him into the bathroom to 'shake his peepee' for him; lest him have to descend from his 'spiritual height' to perform such a task.  A competition grew among the women who were incessantly vying for Father Yod's attention; some spending their days sitting in indolent rapt attention in his presence; eagerly waiting in anticipation to fulfilling his every need or desire.  This is the degree of sycophantic pandering which ensued around Father Yod and the women who competed for his attention.  In every task performed for Father Yod from making his meals to preparing a cup of coffee for him; he was pampered and treated like royalty and served in a reverent way; where the attendance to the needs of Father Yod took precedence over everything else within the group.  This is the extent of ludicrous behavior which ensued within The Source Family:  the worshipful obeisance in attending to all of the needs and desires of Father Yod; where the rest of 'the family' became more like bystanders or worker drones in the ever-increasing worship and adulation of Father Yod and his queen bee, where his orders and instructions were to be acted upon immediately post haste with unquestioning loyalty and devotion using the most common colloquial phrase in 'the source family' that began with the words, "Father said....", and if not acted upon was seen as being negative or anti-family.  Yet, it is amazing to me how some of Father Yod's most stalwart and staunch lieutenants from that time, now want absolutely no association with having been in The Source Family!  It became a very unhealthy social environment within The Source Family, because if you didn't exhibit a worshipful adoration that was expected towards the 'god' whom Jim Baker had supposedly evolved into, especially when he adopted the name 'Yahowha'; than you were seen as lesser within the social strata of 'the family.'  Because everything revolved around the worshipful adoration and idolization of 'Yahowha', something that is still going on today.  But, hanging on 'Yahowha's' every word as though God had just spoken, along with chanting the name Yahowha, and his women incessantly squealing, "Oh, Yahowha!" became representative of the entire dynamic of The Source Family where everything and everyone revolved around the man who changed his name to Yahowha, who was seen as God incarnate, and providing him with the absolute best of whatever amenities were available.  I recall very well how some of the men and women who looked upon Jim Baker with worshipful adoration and obeisance took their role very seriously.  Some came to believe they were superior in many ways to not only the 'other' people who comprised 'the family', but anyone 'outside'  the Source Family as being lesser or not as spiritually evolved; that is the kind of arrogant, spiritual ego that was cultivated within 'the family'.  A couple of those people who became convinced of their 'superiority' or their roles as 'saviors' of mankind and of their own supreme powers from having sat before 'Yahowha' even tried to gather their own followers after The Source Family ended; with disastrous results; especially when a few of the 'sons' went out trying to replicate life within 'the family' by acquiring/having multiple women, just as their idol 'Yahowha' had done.  Even today, a few of the more devote believe themselves to being 'higher' and more highly evolved than people who did not populate The Source Family, and that somehow they alone are carrying on what they continue to see as 'the great work' of 'Yahowha'; a delusional mindset for anyone to continue to possess, in my opinion.  But, that is one of the tragic results of having spent time in a cult such as The Source Family; whereas some people had an extremely difficult time adjusting back into society, and some continue to behave as though they are still in The Source Family cult; continuing to believe that they are the 'saints' and 'sages' and 'saviors' of the world, and so they have enshrined every word spoken and every action performed by their 'spiritual' leader.  But, I witnessed firsthand many of the people who populated The Source Family spiral out of control when it all ended; unsure what to do next; incapable of adjusting to life outside the cult or making a living where many resorted to drug dealing, some incapable of forming new relationships with people who did not share the same cult mentality or use the same 'source' jargon; as well as witnessing several former family members descend into twenty plus years of either drug or alcohol use, until some rather like born-again Christians have once again embraced deifying 'Yahowha' and promoting all of the practices and beliefs that resulted from that construct, in what I see as renewed absurd behaviors.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Archives My Ass

The rallying cry of one person promoting Father Yod and The Source Family is a redundant worn-out proclamation about 'saving the archives.'  The so-called 'archives' that one person is constantly referring consists of the following:  photographs and videos shot/taken by various people who were in 'the family', but whose photographs and videos were expropriated by one person who began her acquisition of absolutely everything that she could get her hands on, over the course of time The Source Family existed.  As one former member recalls, "we all had containers of personal items, but hers was bigger than anyone else!"  That is because this one person would take/commandeer/demand people to turn over any/everything of a material nature to her, under the false pretense of carrying out Father Yod's orders of keeping 'everything' in a centralized location; when in reality this one person seized for herself something that should have belonged to everybody who comprised The Source Family, and which should have been shared with all of the other former members rather than used for the self-promotion and aggrandizement of one person.  Taking and commandeering the material possessions of anyone new joining the group, to be sold and/or contributed to the entire group was also something that was carried out by the more aggressive 'family' members.  But, clearly what happened was that one person just acquired everything they could get their hands on, full well knowing and planning what they would do with all of it at some future point in time; which was to claim everything belonged to them to exploit for their own self-promotion.  Nothing was beyond this one person's reach or grasp; from drawings and artwork done by the children to every single photograph or scrap of paper that she observed another 'family' member to have in their possession.  But, her acquisition of other people's 'stuff' didn't end when 'the family' ended, but continues unabated.  No, this person continued to confiscate by persuading other former family members to 'send her their tapes' or anything they had from 'the source family' days; giving them the impression that she was only borrowing their tapes or photographs or items that would be returned to them.  Not the case!  Because once this  person got her hands on something/anything that had to do with either Father Yod or The Source Family; she held on to it tightly claiming ownership.  This is how it was during 'the family' days; and continues to be the case.  Even parents who have lost their children, since the family; are not allowed copies of photographs where their own children were present.  I know of two women who were in The Source Family, who joined in the early days with their small children; children who passed away years after 'the family' dispersed; but neither of these women has ever been offered any of the photographs taken during the 'family days' where their children were pictured.  One woman came into The Source Family with her two young daughters; two little girls who spent years of their young lives in 'the family' with their mother; and even though she has since tragically lost both of her daughters; this woman has never been offered or allowed to have copies of photographs from 'the source family' days where her little daughters were present!  What a simple act of kindness that would be, to offer both women who have lost their children; copies of photographs from when their children were little!  Especially since few people had access to a camera, during the entire Source Family and so for anyone to have photographs of their children from that time, are greatly appreciated.  There are others who are not allowed to have copies of photographs of their deceased family members; like the woman whose two sisters joined 'the family' along with her, and who lost one of her beloved sisters in an automobile accident; who is not allowed to have any photos where her sister was present, or the man whose own biological mother and brother joined 'the family', but is not allowed copies of any photos where his now deceased mother was pictured.  I am also among those whose requests for copies has been denied; especially my constant request to be allowed to have a copy of the video footage of my son's Dad performing his song Woman Beyond The Sun that was used during the credit roll in the 2012 documentary; although I have offered repeatedly to bear the cost of having a copy made along with their time.  Yet, I have never been allowed to have a copy of that video clip for my son to have of his Dad performing!  Having photographs of your deceased family members can mean so much to a person, yet nobody who was in The Source Family has ever been allowed to have copies of their deceased loved ones.  Any and all requests just fall on deaf ears, and are given varying lame excuses of why it's not possible.  The denial of former members of The Source Family to be allowed to have copies of photographs of themselves, their children and deceased family members has been going on for a very long time, by the one person who continues to grasp and hold on tightly to every single photograph from The Source Family time, in what can only be described as a selfish and paranoid fear that someone else who was in 'the family' might take and use/publish photographs that she has used to promote herself!  Yet, this same person claims to be a 'high priestess'!  In my opinion, the person who continues to claim herself to be a 'high priestess' is really overreaching, because to not go out of her way just a little to have copies of photographs made to send to people whom this women spent years with in The Source Family calling them her 'brothers and sisters' cannot seem to find it in her heart to even perform that simple act of kindness; does not seem either 'high' or 'priestly', but rather small and miserly.  For someone who is continually extolling 'aquarian values and virtues' that Father Yod and The Source Family supposedly represented; their own lack of compassion towards the people who populated 'the family' seems a glaring contradiction; especially since it is the exploitation of all the stories and photographs and music of those people who comprised The Source Family that has been the vehicle for one woman to promote herself.  This is the degree of greedy, selfish grasping obsession of anything material from The Source Family that one woman is determined to keep all to herself; never offering to share/copy photographs or videos with anyone else who shared space with her while in The Source Family.  The woman's only defense in her taking everything that she possibly could when the family abruptly and quickly dispersed is, 'nobody came to me and asked me for anything.'  It all came down to having access, and one person had access and so they grabbed and took whatever they could when 'the family' was dispersing.  So the lame excuse offered is complete rubbish, because everyone who was there, knows very well that there was no way in hell that this woman would have shared or given anyone asking anything!  We were all frantically trying to figure out what we were going to do and where we were going to go, when the decision was made that The Source Family would end and that we would all go our separate ways; but the woman's lame excuse certainly doesn't apply to the past forty years where a centralized online location for all former 'source family' members could have been created where the cost of having duplicate photographs or videos made would have been mitigated.  Yet, this woman who claims to be a 'high priestess' and a 'temple keeper' among other lofty titles has never offered to share a single thing with anyone else who was with her in The Source Family!  Never once has this woman offered to share a single thing with any of the other former 'source family' members, because she believes/feels that everything belongs to her, since she expropriated every single thing that she could get her hands on, and held on to it for the past forty years.  I remember after the family ended; for a time many of us remained in the Kailua area; and this woman was living with her husband and daughter practically across the street from Tim and I.  Tim and I even went over to visit;  but never once during that entire time did she offer anything to either Tim or me that she had taken/left with when the family dispersed.  This woman was holding on to cassette tape recordings of Tim (still is), and photographs and videos of both Tim and me and our son; but never offered to share anything from the experience with either of us!  Nothing!  Ever!  Instead, she went on to use everything that she took with her, when the family dispersed to promote herself; using/exploiting the stories and photographs and music of other people as a vehicle to promote and enrich herself; never offering a single thing to anyone else who spent years of their life alongside her in The Source Family.  Anyone who spent years of their life in The Source Family should be allowed access to photographs of their deceased children, siblings, husbands, and friends from that time!  Children who have lost a parent should be allowed copies of either photographs or videos where their parent was pictured.  But, that has never been the case.  But, after forty years time of grasping/holding on to every single photograph and every single thing that she possibly could; at this point in time there is no way in hell that this person has any intention of allowing any of the other 'former' family members to have a damn thing, with the exception of buying the coffee table book of 'source family' photographs that one person is putting together in order to publish!  Yes, hopefully the photographs of deceased family members will find their way into the new, upcoming 'source' coffee table book, in order for people to purchase at some exorbitant coffee table book price to have some memory of their loved ones.  Who says there isn't justice in the world.  But, so much for 'brother & sisterhood.'  Also, the one person who has been holding hostage the family photographs of everyone who comprised The Source Family has pledged to 'donate' everything that she has in her possession to the UC at Santa Barbara library.  So, there will be another alternative for anyone who wants to view photographs of themselves or their own family members or deceased children; they will be able to travel to Santa Barbara and ask if they can please view the photographs and artwork of the children or family members they have lost.

Monday, December 21, 2015

The Ripoffs and Piracy

Probably the hardest thing to swallow about the regurgitation of The Source Family and the 'branding' that's taking place, is what I see as a desperate attempt by a couple of former 'family' members to propel themselves into the public spotlight along with the appropriation of all of the music that came out of the group; completely ignoring, sidelining, and omitting or reimbursing the songwriters and musicians who wrote and performed on every single original piece of music that was made during 'the source family' experience.  In what I see as a pleasant form of piracy; a couple of people who were in The Source Family have taken it upon themselves to represent the entire body of former 'source family' members by entering into licensing agreements to market and sell songs and music, in order to promote themselves and maintain their false sense of control.  Oh, in the minds of two people, it's all been above board and legal; for them to license songs and music created by the individual songwriters and musicians who were in The Source Family, regardless of whether anyone approved or not, or signed anything!  The majority of songwriters and musicians who performed on what is considered 'source family music' have never seen a dime from any of the sales!  But, the two people pushing and promoting the entire Source Family mythos on to an unsuspecting public feel very justified in everything that they have done.  Operating on the assumption that nobody was going to challenge anything that either of these two did, they have entered into contracts with outside entities to market, license and sell all of the albums and music that were produced, during the brief window of time at The Father House in Los Angeles completely ignoring the feelings or wishes of some of the individuals who contributed to the volume of music produced.  Les Adam (aka Rhythm) was one of those individuals who was completely ignored and his rights trampled on and never compensated properly for the use and sale of his own original songs and performances!  Les Adam was by far the most accomplished musician of the entire group capable of playing both acoustic and electric guitar, piano and electric keyboards, as well as being one of the strongest and best songwriters and singers in The Source Family during its existence; yet he wasn't even credited in the 2012 documentary for three of his songs that were used (Take A Ride, Party Song and Woman), but rather due to the usurping of the individual musician's rights in order to push through completion of the documentary; the credit for Take A Ride was given to the wrong person, and no credit whatsoever was given for the other two songs written and performed by Les Adam.  Instead, the film credits read that all songs used in the documentary were by permission of 'the source foundation'!  What a joke, when no permission was obtained on the part of the actual songwriters!  Tim Garon was also completely left out/ignored in being given any film credit for his songs Every Morning and Woman Beyond The Sun.  Unbelievably, neither Tim or Les were even given a 'Gratitude' credit!  No effort was made to make sure that the music credits were done correctly in the film; primarily because the two former 'source family' people who were working with the filmmakers did not want to involve any other former 'source family' members, in order for them to maintain their tight control.  Les and I spoke on the phone quite a bit about how angry he was about the way that he was just expected to comply with whatever the two individuals did who had entered into licensing agreements to market and sell the albums that were made, during the brief window of time 'the source family' existed; albums which contain his songs and performances; receiving no compensation whatsoever.  He told me over the phone a week or so before he died; that he had called and asked one of the people if they could help him out with money, since he was undergoing treatment for throat cancer; but was told there was 'no money' for him; yet the person he had asked for money had used profits from the documentary to fly around the country doing interviews and photo ops about herself.  Yet, the defense made by the two individuals who have marketed and sold music calling it 'source family music' (this has been going on since the mid-nineties) continue to say there has been no profit made from the sales of any music, and if so; it is only a miniscule amount, and that statement alone is supposed to appease and placate all of the musicians or artists who have been completely taken advantage of, and essentially ripped off!  The fact that very little profit has been made, from the sales of music is beside the point; but has been the only excuse given by the two individuals who have ignored addressing the real issue; which is that songs and music have been taken and used without any prior approval or compensation going to the individuals who created the music!  The main issue has been completely ignored, until recently where it seems 'the source foundation' is being dissolved (Thank God) and all 'licensing agreements' (that were obtained) had been passed on to Starry Records in Los Angeles; supposedly since June; so it will be interesting to see how that plays out; especially since 'the foundation' never secured licensing agreements with all of the songwriters!  But, that's what being in a cult does; it breeds a sense of entitlement among its former members to take and use, and profit from anything that was produced when the cult existed; in a delusional belief that any music produced belonged to the collective.  It's my understanding from the copyright office that any song recorded after Feb. 15, 1972 was automatically covered by Federal Copyright law, and that anyone wanting to sell or distribute albums containing those sound recordings needed permission/a signed licensing agreement with the songwriter!  Wow, that didn't happen!  So, two former cult members put their 'foundation' stamp of ownership on all of the songs and performances made by the individual singers, songwriters and musicians who populated 'the source family'.  I do not really fault the filmmakers though; because I believe that they were given false, misleading and incorrect information to begin with by the two individuals hellbent on their own self-promotion; who convinced the filmmakers they owned all of the rights to all of the music that was made, during 'the source family' daze.  Les Adam died a few months ago, never seeing a single dime from the use and sales of any of his songs or performances from his time spent in The Source Family, because two individuals felt that they had more right to his music, than he did.  For me, this was and is unforgivable and amidst the self-proclaimed 'high priestess' and 'keeper of the archives' and all of the other lofty titles of one of the main people behind the sales of 'Father Yod' and 'Source Family' music is nothing more than greedy self-promotion, along with an in-your-face blatant ripoff of the songs and music created by individuals who should have been rightfully acknowledged and compensated.  Weak platitudes after-the-fact are the only thing offered, by the person who is the worst offender.  I ask the public this:  how would you feel if your husband's or wife's or own parent's songs and music were taken and used in both a film and on a soundtrack without your prior knowledge or approval?  And how in God's name does 'the source foundation' have the right to pass on or sell the 'rights' to all of the albums produced during the heyday of The Source Family to another record label; when they/'the foundation' held no rights to the music, to begin with!  This makes no sense to me whatsoever; how other entities can sell/profit off the songs and music of others where no licensing agreements or contracts are even in place!  Do you think that it is ethically, morally or legally right that someone else sell your family member's songs and music with absolutely no compensation going to the artist or the artist's family?  In my mind, the rightful heirs ie the sons and daughters/wives/husbands (including Jim Baker's own biological children) of any singer/songwriter/musician who performed on any of the albums that were produced during the time the entire Source Family lived together (circa 1973) should be compensated for the continued sales or use of any of the music they either wrote or performed on.  But, hey that's just me.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Nitrous Oxide and Other Distractions

I thought that I'd recount the time that Father Yod/Yahowha had tanks of nitrous oxide brought to the Father House for morning meditation, and over the following couple of days; in what was clearly another sensation-seeking attempt by our 'earthly spiritual father' to entertain himself and 'the troops'. Because over time, out of sheer boredom; Jim Baker would use distractions such as taking nitrous oxide, in order to try and achieve an even greater level of 'spiritual insight'.  But, life in The Source Family did become very monotonous with people's movements and actions becoming very restricted; which is why Father Yod began pounding on the kettle drum and singing in his cacophonous way, and why he would use cocaine with only a select few 'family' members, and why he decided to travel to India with his few select 'women'; which I saw as an attention-seeking trip.  Jim Baker thought that if he travelled to India, that he would be seen or recognized as being a great, spiritual teacher or holy man; especially since he had an entire group of 'followers' waiting anxiously for his return, while he went globetrotting.  I believe that Jim Baker's ego grew to such tremendous proportions being surrounded by his very own group of followers, that he really thought that he would be recognized in the 'East' as being a great, spiritual teacher from the 'West.'  So, Father Yod would constantly search for new ways to keep his boredom at bay, by having the entire 'family' use nitrous oxide, or having everyone wander aimlessly around the Bay Area looking for a place to land; anything to keep moving to stave off the boredom and repetitious monotony of daily life.  At one time the entire 'family' landed in San Francisco and moved into The Atherton Mansion; otherwise known as the 'cat lady' mansion because there was one huge room where a woman had taken in and housed hundreds of homeless cats!  How fitting that a house that housed homeless cats would then house a group of homeless cult followers.  But, all that Father Yod seemed to do all day at The Atherton manse was perform 'sex magic' in his upstairs room with his female entourage.  I recall throughout the day being subjected to the orgasmic shrieks and shrills emanating throughout the house from his various women, which seemed like some were trying to outdo one another, in a competition to see who could have the loudest orgasm.  I could not stand that time at The Atherton Mansion in San Francisco just hanging out in limbo in that huge, vacant house (there was not a stick of furniture) waiting around, while Father Yod had sex in his upstairs room, waiting for his next command to move the entire group to its next destination, while he also would spend much of his time continually messing with people's lives and relationships moving family members around and instructing them to be with someone else/leave their partner to 'serve' another as though we were all pawns on his personal chessboard.  Because everyone in 'the family' was expected to do whatever Father Yod told them to do, to go wherever he told them to go, whether it was to move or change partners; something that he did throughout the brief existence of The Source Family cult, but that kind of leader-control of people's personal lives and relationships is indicative of life in a cult.  So, anyone who tries to convince you that Jim Baker is worthy of hero-worship or any kind of hero status is still living in that cult mentality unable to differentiate even 40+ years out the difference between right and wrong behavior, so they cling to the belief that everything that Jim Baker did was for a higher, spiritual purpose.  Which is also why only those who showered him with praise and exhibited complete and utter devotion were given perks and allowances and niceties not afforded to all 'family' members.  Father Yod definitely had his 'favorites.'  A distinct class system grew around 'Yahowha' and his 'women' and a few of his most devoted followers, but where other 'family' members like me only seemed to occupy space in The Source Family.  I just could never worship 'Yahowha' in the way that came to be expected of all 'family' members, by the time that the group reached Hawaii where everything really began to unravel.  Jim Baker pursued hedonistic pleasures in order to stave off any lethargy or inertia, whenever he felt that he wasn't moving fast enough along a 'spiritual' path.  But, as history has proven; a male ego inflated to enormous proportions surrounded by adoring, fawning people (especially women) proclaiming him to be 'God' possessing infinite wisdom often become debauched and dissipated in their pursuit of pleasure, and while Jim Baker was living out his own fantasies within The Source Family by acquiring multiple 'women' around him whom he designated as being his 'wives', to playing at being 'rock star' as lead singer/frontman for Yahowa 13; the rest of the 'family' members like myself stood on the sidelines watching the circus unfold around fulfilling the whims of our 'spiritual' leader.  The entire dynamic of The Source Family revolved around satisfying the whims and desires of Jim Baker, and if someone did not see him for the 'great spiritual' God-man that his most devoted followers proclaimed him to be; or did not follow all of the imperatives and orders handed down from his 'council' of women; then you were marginalized; as those seeking power and perceived position within the family wielded more and more control.  I recall one women who loved to 'carry out' Yahowha's orders by marching around policing everyone looking for infractions, who acquired the name hatchet lady.  That is how stultifying it became in The Source Family.  Either strict adherence to 'the rules' or being kicked out of 'the family' by 'the council' of Yahowha's most controlling women.  What an absolute nightmare the entire thing became, and thank god that it all finally ended when it did; which is why I am against any revival or renewal of The Source Family.  It all became an extremely unhealthy, debauched exercise in cultish rule by a handful of power-hungry women.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Cult Is Cult

I recently watched a documentary about how the Nazi party was formed around the occult beliefs of Heinrich Himmler; the head of Hitler's SS who was a devout believer in Madame Helena Blavatsky's teachings, "German occultists and racists embraced Blavatsky's idea of being descended from superior Aryan god-men", a quote from the site/blog with a section about Blavatsky that I have linked below.  So, it creeped me out recalling how Father Yod was also influenced by Helena Blatvatsky.  Another writer who had a major influence on Jim Baker was the theosophist and writer Mabel Collins; so it was not surprising when he declared that both M Blatvatsky and M Collins had 'reincarnated' into The Source Family!  But, of course!  The pervading theme of a superior race of people was something that Himmler believed in; as well as did Jim Baker, and even though Himmler used his occult beliefs in forming the Nazi party which would eventually reign down death, destruction and annihilation; he still believed that he was divinely inspired with a preordained purpose.  So, the reason that I'm making a correlation between the 'cult' of Nazi and The Source Family cult is only to make this point:  that belief in the occult and the practice of occult ceremonial magic, whether used for 'good' or 'bad' purposes is still indicative of delusional thinking which reinforces those who believe they can access 'unseen' 'magical' powers of the universe to achieve their goals.  Adopting occult magic or 'magical' belief systems is folly in my mind, even if someone ardently believes that it is for 'the benefit of mankind.'  Himmler believed that his occult beliefs were for the benefit of the German people, just like Jim Baker believed his adopting occult beliefs and practices were for the benefit of The Source Family, as well as for all of mankind.  But, after spending six years in The Source Family and practicing what Father Yod was extolling; I believe that the occult practices and beliefs that Jim Baker read about and adopted from the writings of Manly P Hall, Aleister Crowley, Helena Blavatsky or Mabel Collins are certainly not worthy of perpetuating or creating a following around, because it was those writers who had the most profound effect and influence on what Jim Baker came to believe, and were the source for much of the beliefs that he instilled in his own followers in The Source Family.  The following statement from the site linked below makes perfect sense in explaining why someone like Jim Baker, a man who saw himself as a 'spiritual' father or teacher and leader bringing Eastern spirituality to the Western world, would readily adopt the words of M Blavatsky, "Madame Blavatsky was the first person to bring Eastern Indian spirituality to the Western world.  Words and concepts such as karma, reincarnation, consciousness, kundalini, meditation, yoga, aura, OM, mantras, tantra, chakras, prana, akasha etc are now familiar, if only in a small way, to almost everyone in the West."  But in all cults throughout history; total and complete submission and adherence to the cult leaders edicts is a necessary component in order for the cult to endure.  The Nazi also believed in the 'superior genetic material' of the Aryan race being spread through the unbridled sexual servicing of all Nazi men by German women; a similar belief that Father Yod held about spreading his own perceived 'superior' genetic material to create a super race of 'new age' more highly evolved 'aquarian' children within his own group of devoted followers.  Occult beliefs and practices are all one and the same when it comes down to it; whether someone tries to distinguish between a 'white magician' or a 'dark' one; it still involves ritualistic practice and belief in forces beyond the visible world waiting to fulfill our innermost desires and perceived purpose in life, by simply invoking its power.  In the very early beginnings when Jim Baker was forming The Brotherhood of The Source; many of us thought it was rather fun and exciting to chant and use/repeat magical incantations meant to 'call upon' the powers and forces that were believed to dwell in other realms unseen to our eyes; like invoking the lords in 'the Halls of Amenti' deep inside the earth's core that were to be taken on faith actually existed and would convey 'magical powers' to anyone who knew the 'magic' words to invoke their powers.  This is the kind of thing that Jim Baker based his 'teachings' upon.  Jim Baker set about convincing all who joined The Brotherhood of The Source, that they belonged to an esoteric 'mystery school' whose sole purpose was unlocking the 'mysteries of the universe' by following and believing the writings of Blavatsky, Collins and Manly P Hall and reciting the 'magical' incantations found in their books.  Jim Baker's 'teachings' were a hodgepodge of 'kundalini yoga' practices and beliefs that he had learned and adopted while in Yogi Bhajan's cult, and all of the mystical, magical incantations and beliefs in the writings of some of the world's most visible 'magical thinkers' and writers of theosophy and mysticism.  A belief in the occult and the powers that could be attained was the foundation of the Nazi party; as well as in The Source Family cult.  Although the analogy of the cult of Nazi sharing similar beliefs and attributes to that of The Source Family will infuriate the most fervid followers of Father Yod's exclaiming him to have been a 'white magician' and not a magician of the 'dark' arts; I believe that in order to gain clarity and perspective into how cults are formed and how they exist and function; you need to have a broader understanding of the origins of the belief systems of a particular cult, and how people will willingly submit and eagerly adopt a belief system that offers a 'magical solution' to their problems; just as the German people willingly adopted the Nazi belief system.  Because throughout history, people who are searching for a better life and more power or control in their lives' will often embrace 'occult' practices and beliefs including ceremonies and incantations; but which has never resulted in happy endings or lives that were improved.  The Source Family is a perfect example of a group of people attempting to use 'magical' thinking and incantations in order to achieve power and control in their own lives, but after forty years of nobody having anything to show for their endeavors, but just more of the same worn-out ineffectual repetition of the phrases and sayings adopted and used by Father Yod.  If the result of people having been in The Source Family cult, after forty years time; was one of complete and utter achievement and success among it's former members; than that might offer some proof of the efficacy of Father Yod's 'teachings.'  The only proven result of being in The Source Family, that I have seen has been a few diehards trying desperately to create a mythos around Father Yod and sell 'source family' branded merchandise, along with maintaining an artifice by some of possessing divine powers or wisdom.  Although I did witness a wake of messed up people's lives, long term drug and alcohol use, broken and failed marriages and relationships, and an epic inability for many to function in 'normal' society. Historically time and time again the human toll of being in cults has resulted in nothing but residual emotional suffering and long-term damage.  For me, being in The Source Family only brought an awakening and realization that 'occult' magic simply does not exist, but only in the minds of those intent on pursuing their own agendas.  The people in Germany were looking for a 'magic solution' back in the 1930's which paved the way for a madman to gain power and control based on the belief of a 'chosen' race of people and a 'divine' mission or providence to inspire and enthrall.  Jim Baker may not have been a sadistic madman like Himmler or Hitler, but he did believe in and adopt 'magical thinking' and 'occult magic' to persuade a group of people to follow him.  My personal advice to anyone enchanted or mesmerized by the seemingly outward appearance or story of Father Yod and The Source Family as being 'leaders' of a 'new age' would be to look askance at the entire thing as something to avoid at all costs and to know that there are no 'secret teachings' or 'magical powers' or esoteric knowledge to be gained or acquired by following or adopting the 'teachings' of Father Yod; who like so many throughout history believed they were 'divinely' chosen and divinely inspired by a 'higher power.'  It is my belief that if everything that Jim Baker aka Father Yod/Yahowha was espousing and extolling like practicing 'the mystic road' or reciting the 'birth litany' from a book by Mabel Collins were so powerful and effective that the world would have seen the results in the repetition of those practices and beliefs by now!  But, that's not the case.  Even after forty years; not one person from The Source Family has gone on to 'change the world' by repeating the words or practicing any of the ceremonies extolled by Jim Baker.  You would think that if Father Yod's 'teachings' were so powerful and profoundly effective that the results would be evident by now, but that has certainly not been the case.

Here is a link to read about the Halls of Amenti.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

The Feeding Frenzy

In an earlier post titled 'Sex That Was Not Magic', I wrote about the ceremonial 'sex magic' referred to as qudosh by Father Yod which he enthusiastically adopted and implemented into the 'magical' practice of The Source Family; something that he clearly adopted after reading books by Aleister Crowley, no doubt either De Arte Magicka or Book of The Law which are both referenced in this excellent in-depth article that I just found .  A compendium of how and why Crowley got into 'sex magick' to the degrees that he did.  In reading this article, I found many of the exact practices, beliefs and even words that were used and adopted by Jim Baker and then imposed on the rest of 'the family'!  It was truly an eyeopener for me, because it confirms and substantiates what Father Yod's most devoted followers continually try to disavow happened; desperately trying to whitewash the origins of many of Father Yod's so-called 'teachings.'  But, the facts are there as proof about where Jim Baker found and adopted the 'sex magic' that he integrated into his own brand of 'teachings.'  This article is irrefutable evidence to anyone who was in The Source Family of the kind of ceremonial sex adopted by a man who some want to promote as being a great spiritual leader.  The practice of qudosh involved having sex with one of the women in 'the family' while she was menstruating which was labeled 'flowing.'  If a woman was 'flowing', it meant that she was having her period.  The practice of qudosh centered around a woman who was 'flowing' in The Source Family and became the pinnacle of Father Yod's 'teachings', but when one former male family member interviewed in the film referred to 'the introduction of blood'; his comments were edited out from the final cut, after a backlash from a few former 'family' members due to his revealing comments.  Keeping a lid on qudosh is the number one intent of those who are trying to promote Father Yod and The Source Family as being some kind of happy and healthy uber 'new age' group; people who refuse to publicly talk about much less reveal the practice of qudosh; feigning an air of possessing 'esoteric secrets', and to imply that only the worthy or chosen 'initiate' should know about it.  When in reality it's all about hiding the truth, especially by those who are promoting The Source Family and all of the sundry merchandise; who dissemble when asked about the 'sexual practices' that went on in 'the family', but who also have 40 year old children of their own and grandchildren whom they would probably be mortified to have them find out or learn about the practices that actually went on in The Source Family.  The practice of qudosh is considered the pinnacle or the 'highest' teaching by the most fervid followers and devotees (diehards) of Father Yod/Yahowha.  The mixing of a man's semen with the menstrual blood of a woman was considered the highest of Father Yod's 'teachings' and was the reason why any woman who was having her period or 'flowing' in the family became a resource and was expected to perform qudosh with any number of men in 'the family.'  Yet, as awful as that sounds; that was the absolute reality of what life was like in The Source Family.  Also, women were not allowed to use tampons or pads of any kind, none of the normal everyday products that women use today!  The women in 'the family' were forced to use what were called 'cuppie towels', a small (sometimes large) square of usually terry cloth that she had to use throughout the entire course of her monthly period!  The term 'cuppie towel' was the cutesy name used in 'the family' for something that caught the 'flow' or period from a woman's vagina or 'cup', a word where Father Yod likened a woman's vagina with magical symbology to that of a chalice or cup that a man would dip his penis or magic 'wand'.  The act of a woman performing qudosh with one of the men in the family was referred to as a 'feeding.'  If a man performed qudosh with one of the women in 'the family', it was said that he was being 'fed.'  This 'feeding' sons became the most predominate and important in Jim Baker's arsenal of 'magical' beliefs and practices, and something that he tried to impose on the entire group; especially by instructing some of 'his' women or the women whom he surrounded himself to perform with multiple men or 'sons' in the family.  Soon women in 'the family' devised ways to avoid having to perform what was viewed as a revolting practice, and in my mind an epic form of 'abuse of power' by a man who was viewed as our 'spiritual' teacher or leader!  But, any woman with the title of 'mother/angel' who was considered a 'woman of Yahowha' was expected to 'feed' any number of sons in The Source Family, and although a few women were able to escape having to perform this ritual simply by avoidance or flat-out refusal, many with the title 'mother/angel' were expected to perform what many saw as a repugnant ceremony adopted by Father Yod/Yahowha.  The practice of 'feeding' the sons in The Source Family has left behind a wake of remorse and regret among the majority of the women and men who populated Father Yod's 'family', and is the number one reason that many former members want no affiliation with The Source Family any longer.  Many of the women now feel and believe they were taken advantage of and pressured/coerced by Father Yod in his misguided and debauched belief that a woman's menstrual blood would give him the absolute power and wisdom of the universe, by adopting some of the beliefs and practices of Aleister Crowley.  If that alone is not enough to turn people off to Father Yod and The Source Family; I don't know what else will; but I can firmly attest there was no higher consciousness achieved in having the women in 'the family' being forced to 'feed' the men in the group.  A 'feeding frenzy' was incurred where much of daily life within the group revolved around the performance of qudosh; to such an extreme that even after Father Yod jumped off the cliff in Hawaii and died; a schedule was created by his 'council' of women and maintained as a checklist of which men or 'sons' had been 'fed.'  Any and all women were expected to perform qudosh, but most of all the women who were with Father Yod who were given the title of 'mother/angel'; the task of 'feeding' sons mainly fell to them; although some avoided the directive by shifting the task to new, unsuspecting women referred to as 'angels'.  Any new woman joining The Source Family was immediately given the task of 'feeding' sons.  So, please I encourage anyone who might be the least bit enthralled with the story of Father Yod and The Source Family, after watching the documentary to know and understand that the sexual practices veiled in 'spirit' as being a way to achieve a 'higher consciousness' that were imposed on an entire group of men and women by Jim Baker, became a source of shame and regret for the majority of women and men who comprised 'the family', with the exception of those who want to promote themselves as being 'leaders' of the 'new age', and profit from the sales of Source Family merchandise.  Behind all of the hype about 'aquarian fashion and lifestyle' of The Source Family that some are presenting to the public are carefully guarded sexually deviant practices like qudosh and the 'feedings' that were expected of the women who populated 'the family' that has not been revealed to the public, until now.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

A Legacy Not Worth Saving

It is easy to forget about the many 'casualties' of The Source Family, amidst the media flurry and exaggerated claims being made about Father Yod and 'life in the family', but there were more 'casualties' from being in the family, than not.  Firstly, there is the emotional damage that Jim Baker left behind by impregnating three different women, during his reign over The Source Family.  One of those women was his own wife, Robin Baker (known as Ahom) who gave up her own pursuit and dream of becoming an actress in Hollywood when she met and married Jim Baker; whom she believed to be 'the love of her life.'  Robin Baker was as instrumental in the formation of The Source Family, as Jim Baker; in fact per Tim Garon who spent an entire year with Jim and Robin, prior to the formation of The Brotherhood of The Source; it was Robin's idea to start their own 'spiritual' family, after Jim Baker decided to leave Yogi Bhajan.  Tim also stated that Jim Baker's reason for leaving the yogi was because Jim had found out that Bhajan was having sex with various women in his ashram!  But, Robin was young and beautiful when she met Jim Baker in the late sixties where she adopted/took on the role of  a 'spiritual mentor' or 'mother' to those who came to her morning 'classes' held at The Source Restaurant where some became inspired by her.  Because in the early days of The Source Family, Robin Baker embodied all of the qualities that you might expect to find in an Aquarian Age 'earthly spiritual mother':  beauty, warmth, compassion and kindness.  Robin embraced her new role as 'spiritual mother'; a complement to Jim Baker's role as 'earthly spiritual father.'  Most everyone who joined in the early days of 'the family' referred to Robin Baker with the endearing term of 'Mother.'  Robin was the inspiration for several of the young women who joined 'the family' as she and her husband were laying (no pun intended) the foundation for their 'new age' 'aquarian' family.  But, Robin had no idea what was in store for her, or what she would have to endure in helping her husband to form his own 'aquarian' family; she didn't know that very soon after young women who had been inspired by her began to join, would be approached by her husband soliciting some to bear his child to further his delusion of creating a super race of 'aquarian' children via his seed.  Jim Baker's plan to impregnate some of the young women who began to join 'his family' came as a shock and a surprise to Robin, but she was now married to the man.  So, Robin Baker did her best to adapt and adjust to her husband's objective, hoping and praying that he might soon see the error of his ways and stop his pursuit of other women in the newly formed group; although that did not happen until the final days of his life.  Robin had already invested so much of her life in helping her husband create The Source Family, along with nurturing and cultivating relationships with other 'family' members which combined with becoming pregnant with Jim Baker's child; she made the decision to remain in her demoted position within 'the family.'  Because Jim Baker replaced Robin with another dark-haired young woman whom he became enamored who had joined 'the family'; referring to her as his 'mother/angel' whom then all of his attention and focus was then centered, and where Susan (named Makushla) displaced Robin.  Susan aka Makushla was then waited on hand and foot and showered with praise and adoration, just as Father Yod and is still seen by some devote former family members as being 'the head' of the defunct Source Family, because of her highly touted position of being 'Yahowha's mother/angel'.  So, Robin Baker who was Jim Baker's only legal wife, during the entire course of The Source Family was removed from her role as 'spiritual mother' and replaced with Makushla.  This is the kind of 'legacy' that Jim Baker left behind; replacing the women or wives in his life with another who caught his eye, along with having children with different women before The Source Family and during its existence.  Jim Baker fathered three children with three different women, during the 'family' daze; but he also had children prior to the formation of The Source Family.  Yet, this is 'the legacy' that a couple of people are so intent on saving; a legacy of the use and misuse of women and children by a man who saw himself as a 'god' or 'messiah' of the 'new age.'  Many men from Jim Baker's generation found it very easy to move from one woman to another; to leave their wives and children for another woman usually a younger or prettier version of the one they were leaving, and to continue fathering children whom they left with very little thought as to their financial support or security; which is exactly what happened with not only Robin Baker and her infant daughter fathered by Jim Baker, but the two other women whom he also impregnated, during 'the family.'  Adding insult to injury, one of the more aggressive 'council women' who still saw herself as one of 'Yahowha's women' tried to wrest any remaining financial interest or money from the sale of The Source Restaurant to go to the support of herself and the other women whom Jim Baker had surrounded himself, rather than to the children Jim Baker had sired in The Source Family.  Wow, not any kind of 'legacy' worth saving, in my mind; but more a tragic tale of one man leaving behind a wake of fatherless children and abandoned women!