A Dissolution of Relationships

In order to write this blog, I have had to relive many of the distressing moments and emotions that I experienced during the course of The Source Family in order to write about those experiences and something that has not been easy to do.  I can only attest from firsthand experience that the long-term effects of following and obeying Jim Baker's directives did not have any lasting healthy or positive effect in people's lives, but rather left behind a wake of dysfunctional relationships, emotional suffering and physical scars, because families were torn apart while being part of Jim Baker's Source Family.  Which is why it's even that more unfathomable to me why some would want to continue in the folly of extolling the virtues of life in The Source Family.  I really didn't want to revisit many of the emotions and experiences from the six years that I spent in The Source Family and like other women experienced anguish, distress and separation as we watched and witnessed the men that we loved follow and obey the maladaptive belief system of Jim Baker's for the men to engage in sex with as many women as possible.  Some who even abandoned their own wives and children, in order to follow and carry out Father Yod's edict of the men having more than one woman.  Because Father Yod believed that only by destroying or deconstructing the matrimonial and emotional bonds between the men and women in his family and their children; would they be living his ideal of an Aquarian New Age family and so I witnessed the dissolution of many relationships and marriages throughout the years that The Source Family was in existence.  People would enter the group married or in close, committed relationships only to have their relationships or marriages torn apart and destroyed due to the misguided, self-serving directives of Jim Baker/Father Yod, because he believed that an open, sexual environment where both men and women having multiple sexual partners was healthy and represented the New Age of Aquarius where he would continually assign women to be with and serve men other than their own spouses---to become an interloper in a man's already established relationship or marriage with another woman.  The women were expected to just accept and endure it and even be happy about it!  As I've stated before, Jim Baker was continually messing with the personal lives and relationships of everyone in the group believing that he was setting an example for the men how they should treat women, along with a more hands-off impersonal attitude towards their own children.  In my opinion, relationships that should have been sacrosanct and left alone.  Although Jim Baker's belief in himself and the other men having multiple women seemed to glaringly contradict his very own commandment that he penned in 1969 that read, "The Man and His Woman are One, let nothing separate them.'" Which begs the question, "Even another woman?"  This commandment was later changed to, "The Man and His Women are One, let nothing separate them."  Ha!  How convenient.  Although there are still a couple of women who still cherish their days spent as one of  Yahowha's women, but that is only because they were never able to deprogram or disabuse themselves enough to see that women were treated more like chattel in The Source Family than anything else.  Women were seen as only a resource or commodity by Father Yod to direct or place with those whom he valued most---the men.  Because, deep down Jim Baker was more an old school sexist who was more concerned about his sons ie the men and whether or not they had angels (women) to take care of them especially sexually, than with anything else.  So, the women in Jim Baker's Aquarian family were relegated to a servile, albeit protected status something which became a constant part of his rhetoric about how it was a man's duty to protect and provide for his woman and a woman's duty was to obey and serve a man. Of course, Jim Baker had to change the singular woman to the plural women to accommodate the bevy of women he began to accumulate around himself.  One man (one of Jim Baker's most favored) once described being in The Source Family like being in a candy store with all of the sexually available women that were at his disposal, because that was what Father Yod was all about moving around the women and placing them with various men as some sort of reward for their devotion to him it would seem.  Women saw their own spouses and husbands, and fathers of their own children get so caught up in following Father Yod's directive of men having multiple, sexual partners within the family that their only choice was to either accept another woman being insinuated into their relationship, leave or dissociate just to cope.  But, this was supposed to be the Aquarian way of life as taught by our earthly spiritual father.  More like Aquarian bullshit!  Many married couples who joined soon saw their marriages fall apart because of following Father Yod's derelict and irresponsible Aquarian moral directives.  Jim Baker believed that he was setting the bar or the standard for all the men in how to attract and hold on to women, which is why he was continually casting around within the family for new sexual conquest to show off his prowess and ability to attract women.  It was practically impossible for any marriage to survive while being in The Source Family under the sexual promiscuity encouraged and promoted by a man who believed that women were only attracted to the most constant and powerful of men and so the men were encouraged to acquire as many women around them as they possibly could and to treat all their women equally showing no preference or deference to any one woman.  Yet, that was exactly what Jim Baker continuously did: he showed preference for one woman.  That one woman began with Robin Baker, whom he married prior to the formation of The Source Family and soon devolved into being another whom he became sexually enamored.  So, Jim Baker had to quickly adjust and tailor the social mores within his spiritual group to where a man should have multiple women to serve him while not showing preferential treatment to any one woman in his harem.  We were all brainwashed into believing that being an Aquarian meant that we all belonged to one tribe where men would have multiple women to attend to their every need, and where any emotional bonds or attachments to any one individual such as a wife or husband were seen as being from the past Piscean Age, and something which I observed created varying degrees of physical and emotional abandonment and neglect that arose from being encouraged by Father Yod to dissolve or shun any prior commitment to anyone they were either married to or had children with.