One of the most telling tracks recorded of Jim Baker's cacophonous singing (mostly yelling and wailing) was a track titled A Kind of Depression. Because Jim Baker could only draw on his own feelings, emotions and past life experiences; the words he spoke, yelled and wailed throughout this track were very telling. Here are Jim Baker's painful and remorseful words on that track:
I reached out to Chris Johnson aka Octavius for his input/feedback about this track and specifically about Jim Baker's tortured lyrics and singing. Here is what he wrote back.
Definitely about a woman before Robin. Seems to be an opposite message from the norm. I will share what I noticed even then while mastering the selections I dissected from the chaos that now are hailed as the genius of Jim Baker the musician artist. He had no natural talent other than being willing to throw himself off the cliff into the unknown and BS his way in real time. He was good at that. Example: becoming a judo instructor from a book. Health club gym owner when there were none. Sandalmaker when there were none. Health food restaurant when there were none. White male western guru figuring out what he believed on the fly. Frontman for a spontaneous band. Could not play an instrument so he got the biggest drum to beat. Could not keep time. Singer of whatever came to mind. Was NOT a singer. But, he could whistle better than most....I guess? So, to your question: (I asked Chris about the tortured, wailing yelling words on the track) He could only draw from the experiences he had. Like we all do. His melodies, whistling, and constructs were all bits and pieces of music from the 40's. I would think to myself, "Where have I heard that before?" Lil kitties, gonna take you home, the whistling, and some of his lyrics were all drawn from things in his past. Shipmates stand together??? So, my best guess is he was singing about his girlfriend (forgot her name) who helped him build The Source. Just his expression and body language testifies to his happiness. Before Robin. I don't know if he was a happy soul. He once said something to the effect of, "What a mess I've created." Yup, he did. I think he was probably happier before the 'family'. He actually was a young soul trying to figure out what had more value: The Material or Spiritual. So, he was a prisoner to his own habit pattern. Becoming bored with where he found himself and abandoning it in the end. Restaurants, marriages, children, lifestyles, friends, beliefs, and life in general. This is why he did what he did. Pushing and testing limits and norms. This is the same burden our generation suffers. Single parent homes. No examples. Guess this is why he needed to be the 'Father' he never had. This is why we all do the things we do. My opinion for what it's worth. With every myth comes the point where 'the rubber meets the road'. Outside of all the machismo, he could have been a friend. But, it still remains the biggest lesson in post graduate Sociology one could not imagine. The masculine Father image for better and for worse. And I am grateful to the universe for it. His ego had never felt so much pump. He fell for the temporary, lost sight of the eternal. It happens.
Thanks to the input from former members like Chris and the others whose voices I've included on this blog, it helps give the viewing public a more honest and authentic view of Jim Baker, as opposed to the embellished and exaggerated (and often erroneous) narrative that's continually being put forth. There are a few former members who are not afraid to share their memories and experiences of Jim Baker that portray the man as being flawed and human.
