Since the film about The Source Family came out in 2012, there have been many reviews done about it, along with a plethora of interviews with only one person with the same self-serving, one-sided idealized narrative that much like Pinocchio's nose keeps growing exponentially with each telling, along with their own grandiose self-promotion. So, I thought that I would review the 2012 film, since I did spend six years of my life in The Source Family and have firsthand experience. I was sent a copy of the film not long after it was released on the public at SXSW in Austin in 2012, and at first watching it brought back all of the yucky, unsettling feelings and emotions that I had experienced 40+ years ago which I had suppressed and tried to forget about, because I had gotten on with my life having nothing whatsoever to do with either Father Yod or The Source Family any longer! Watching the film evoked all of the sordid memories and awful, unsettling feelings of being in the group, and so at first; it was difficult for me watch. Because, as with many others; it was a welcomed relief when the whole thing finally ended. There was such a sense of welcomed relief when The Source Family came to an end. Where it felt like being released from an internment camp where you had suffered deprivations and were finally being released! That is what it felt like for many of us, when the entire Source Family debacle finally came to an end----even though many were faced with the stress of having to scramble figuring out where they were going to go, and what they were going to do next: it still brought a welcomed sense of being released. That was something that the 2012 film failed to show.
Life in The Source Family had become insufferable where it had been reduced to most everyone having very little in the way of food, comforts or possessions of any kind; yet where the handful of women who were considered Father Yod's/Yahowha's 'women' were still being taken care of and supported using the little remaining resources along with the financial support of one older gentleman, who was among those who continued to pander to 'Yahowha's mother-angel' and the other 'council women' treating them as though they were royalty, but where often the needs of their own spouses and children became secondary to the needs of 'Yahowha's women.' That was the extent of the maladaptive behaviors germinated within The Source Family where the majority of us just wanted the whole thing to end where thankfully it finally did when it became imminently clear that 'the family' could no longer be supported as a group or a whole; as it had been from the income of The Source Restaurant back in Los Angeles when all of the profits went to support the entire group.
But, those days were over and only a handful of men/sons were capable of going out and earning money and the women with children were forced on to welfare, but even then it certainly wasn't enough to sustain the entire indigent group of 'family members'; especially since none of the women were allowed to work in the 'real' world----the entire thing became insufferable and unsustainable. Yet, the 2012 film somehow gives the audience the impression that life within The Source Family was one of wealth and affluence, but then the glowing accounts and puffery describing Father Yod and life in 'the family' given by some of his most devout remaining followers contributes to giving the audience a fairy tale perspective.
But, the realities of being in The Source Family were something other than the phantasmagoric imagery that some people have tried to present to the public at large, and where the voices of only one or two people have been heard, especially since the overwhelming majority of former Source Family members like myself have wanted absolutely nothing to do with any of it any longer, and did not want to be associated with having been part of a cult where engaging in sexual activity with women in their menstrual cycles took precedence over everything else! But, now I feel the overriding need to disabuse people/the public of the idealized narrative that is being foist upon them into believing that Father Yod or life in The Source Family was worthy of following or emulating. I do feel that the two young women who made the film did the very best they could given the overembellished and one-sided story or version of events that was presented to them, and their limited exposure to a larger pool of former family members, and so because of that; I feel the film lacked any of the more harsher and negative opinions, views and memories of many who populated the family who feel it had a negative impact on their lives. Which left only interviews with people who either had very little to do with the actual Source Family, or the small pool of people who made only very positive comments. Robin Baker's interview segment was the only one that came close to describing just how damaging life within The Source Family had become or expressing the long-term negative impact that the experience had. Many people ended up feeling betrayed and taken advantage of by Jim Baker----people who feel embarrassment and regret for having believed and followed him for as long as they did. Instead, the documentary mainly consists of interviews with onlookers and bystanders----people who knew Jim Baker before he morphed into Father Yod/Yahowha, several sensationalized sound bites to describe the overall experience, and an abundance of overzealous and highly idealized comments made by some diehard former followers who continue to worship, exalt and idolize Jim Baker, and who are trying to dust off and polish up his image to present Father Yod to the world again in the hopes of either re-forming The Source Family or at the very least to gain their own following and/or fan base.
Overall, I feel the 2012 film gives the viewing audience an incomplete and even incorrect view of what life was really like in The Source Family----where it gives the impression that life in 'the family' was a groovy, rock and roll fantasy where we all drove around in Rolls Royces----when the reality was something quite different for the majority of people who comprised The Source Family, and where only a few of Father Yod's chosen favorites received 'special treatment' who were put into positions with buying power for nicer clothing, or musical instruments or equipment deemed only for a select handful----where only a select few were given the opportunity to escape the doldrums of an otherwise powerless, enervated existence within The Source Family. Ordinary family members like myself and my son's father, along with many others did not benefit from the flush of cash that was poured into producing and promoting Yahowa 13 just so Jim Baker could live out his rock star fantasy, or his travels to India, or in his private indulgences of eating at expensive restaurants in Beverly Hills or 'his women' shopping at I.Magnin, or using cocaine riding in his Rolls Royce with only a chosen few on his way to play a high school to troll for new 'spiritual children' to add to the already overcrowded and unhealthy living conditions that life in The Source Family had become----to finally where Jim Baker escaped the deteriorating conditions at Doc Hill in Hilo to move to a lovely hilltop home in the expensive bedroom community of Lanikai on Oahu, with only his select entourage of 'women' spending his final days in idle self-indulgences which the remaining family members had no part. I feel the 2012 film labeled a documentary failed to show all of the above and fell short of presenting the more harsher, negative experiences, views and memories of many who were left with a feeling of being duped, used and even stupid for following Jim Baker, for as long as they did.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Absurd Pandering Behaviors
As Father Yod gathered more and more of the women who populated The Source Family in becoming what he called 'his women', the degree of absurd pandering and pampered attention paid to him grew to ludicrous proportions to where he was never left alone, but always had an entourage of women following him around attending to his every need; like when an entourage of 'his women' would even accompany him into the bathroom to 'shake his peepee' for him; lest him have to descend from his 'spiritual height' to perform such a task. A competition grew among the women who were incessantly vying for Father Yod's attention; some spending their days sitting in indolent rapt attention in his presence eagerly waiting in anticipation to fulfilling his every need or desire. This is the degree of sycophantic pandering which ensued around Father Yod and the women who competed for his attention.
In every task performed for Father Yod from making his meals to preparing a cup of coffee for him; he was pampered and treated like royalty and served in a reverential way; where the attendance to the needs of Father Yod took precedence over everything else within the group. This is the extent of ludicrous behavior which ensued within The Source Family: the worshipful obeisance in attending to all of the needs and desires of Father Yod; where the rest of 'the family' became more like bystanders or worker drones in the ever-increasing worship and adulation of Father Yod and his queen bee, where his orders and instructions were to be acted upon immediately post haste with unquestioning loyalty and devotion using the most common colloquial phrase in 'the source family' that began with the words, "Father said....", and if not acted upon was seen as being negative or anti-family. Yet, it is amazing to me how some of Father Yod's most stalwart and staunch lieutenants from that time, now want absolutely no association with having been in The Source Family!
It became a very unhealthy social environment within The Source Family, because if you didn't exhibit a worshipful adoration that was expected towards the 'god' whom Jim Baker had supposedly evolved into, especially when he adopted the name 'Yahowha' than you were seen as lesser within the social strata of 'the family.' Because everything revolved around the worshipful adoration and idolization of 'Yahowha' which is something that is still going on today. But, hanging on 'Yahowha's' every word as though God had just spoken, along with chanting the name Yahowha, and his women incessantly squealing, "Oh, Yahowha!" became representative of the entire dynamic of The Source Family where everything and everyone revolved around the man who changed his name to Yahowha, who was seen as God incarnate and providing him with the absolute best of whatever amenities were available.
I recall very well how some of the men and women who looked upon Jim Baker with worshipful adoration and obeisance took their role very seriously. Some came to believe they were superior in many ways to not only the other people who comprised 'the family', but anyone outside the Source Family as being lesser or not as spiritually evolved; that is the kind of arrogant, spiritual ego that was cultivated within 'the family'. A couple of those people who became convinced of their superiority or their roles as 'saviors of mankind' and of their own supreme powers from having sat before Yahowha even tried to gather their own followers after The Source Family ended with disastrous results. Especially when a few of the 'sons' went out trying to replicate life within 'the family' by acquiring/having multiple women just as their idol Yahowha had done. Even today, a few of the more devote believe themselves to being more enlightened and more highly evolved than people who did not populate The Source Family, and how they alone are carrying on what they continue to see as 'the great work' of Yahowha --- a delusional mindset for anyone to continue to possess, in my opinion.
But, that is one of the tragic results of having spent time in a cult such as The Source Family; whereas some people had an extremely difficult time adjusting back into society, and some continue to behave as though they are still in The Source Family cult continuing to believe that they are the 'saints' and 'sages' and 'saviors' of the world, and so they have enshrined every word spoken and every action performed by their spiritual leader, Jim Baker.
But, I witnessed firsthand many of the people who populated The Source Family spiral out of control when it all ended unsure what to do next; incapable of adjusting to life outside the cult or making a living where many resorted to drug dealing; some incapable of forming new relationships with people who did not share the same cult mentality or use the same 'source' jargon; as well as witnessing several former family members descend into twenty plus years of either drug or alcohol use, until some rather like born-again Christians have once again embraced deifying Yahowha and promoting all of the practices and beliefs that resulted from that construct, in what I see as renewed absurd behaviors.
Monday, December 21, 2015
The Ripoffs and Piracy
Probably the hardest thing to swallow about the regurgitation of The Source Family and the 'branding' that's taken place, is what I've seen as a desperate attempt by a couple of former members to propel themselves into the public spotlight, along with the appropriation of all of the music that came out of The Source Family while completely ignoring, sidelining, and omitting or reimbursing the songwriters and musicians who wrote and performed on every single original piece of music. In what I see as a pleasant form of piracy, a couple of people who were in The Source Family took it upon themselves to represent the entire body of former Source Family members and entered into licensing agreements to market and sell songs and music, in order to promote themselves and maintain their false sense of control. But, in the minds of two people, it seemed all above board and legal for them to freely license songs and music that had been created by the individual songwriters and musicians who were part of The Source Family, regardless of whether anyone approved or not, or even signed anything!
The majority of songwriters and musicians who performed on what has been labeled 'Source Family music' never saw a dime from any of the music sales! But, the two people who were pushing and promoting the entire Source Family mythos on to an unsuspecting public felt extremely justified in everything that they did. Operating on the assumption that nobody was going to challenge anything that either of those two did, they entered into contracts with outside entities to market, license and sell all of the albums and music that were produced, during the brief window of time at The Father House in Los Angeles, while only involving a couple of musicians and completely ignoring the feelings or wishes of other individuals who contributed to the volume of music that had been produced.
Les Adam, who was called Rhythm, was one of those individuals who was completely ignored who had his rights trampled on and was never compensated properly for the use and sale of his own original songs and performances! Les Adam was by far the most accomplished musician of the entire group capable of playing both acoustic and electric guitar, piano and electric keyboards, as well as being one of the strongest and best songwriters and singers in The Source Family, during its existence. Yet, Rhythm wasn't even credited in the 2012 film for three of his songs that were used (Take A Ride, Party Song and Woman), but rather due to the usurping of the individual musician's rights in order to push through completion of the film; the credit for Take A Ride was given to the wrong person, and no credit whatsoever was given for the other two songs written and performed by Les Adam. Instead, the film credits read that all songs used in the 2012 film were 'by permission of the source foundation'! What a joke, when no permission was obtained on the part of the actual songwriters!
Tim Garon was also completely left out/ignored in being given any film credit for his songs Every Morning and Woman Beyond The Sun. Unbelievably, neither Tim or Les were even given a 'Gratitude' credit! No effort was made to make sure that the music credits were done correctly in the film; primarily because the two former Source Family people who were working with the filmmakers did not want to involve any other former members, in order for those two individuals to maintain their tight control over the entire project. Les and I spoke on the phone quite a bit about how angry he was about the way that he was just expected to comply with whatever those two individuals did who had entered into licensing agreements to market and sell the albums that had been made, during the brief window of time The Source Family existed----albums that contained Les Adam's songs and performances and receiving no compensation whatsoever. Les told me over the phone a week or so before he died that he had called and asked one of the people if they could help him out with money, since he was undergoing treatment for throat cancer, but was told there was 'no money' for him; yet the person he had asked for money had used profits from the film to fly around the country doing interviews and photo ops about herself.
The defense made by the two individuals who have marketed and sold music calling it 'Source Family music' (this has been going on since the mid-nineties) continue to say there has been no profit made from the sales of any music, and if so that it has been only a miniscule amount----that statement alone was supposed to appease and placate all of the musicians and songwriters who were completely taken advantage of and basically ripped off! The fact that very little profit has been made, from music sales is beside the point, but it was the only excuse given by the two individuals who ignored addressing the real issue----which was that songs and music have been taken and used without any prior approval or compensation going to the individuals who created the music! The main issue has been completely ignored, until recently where it appears The Source Foundation is being dissolved (Thank God) and any licensing agreements (a few that had been obtained) had been passed on to Starry Records in Los Angeles supposedly since June, and so it will be interesting to see how that plays out especially since The Source Foundation never secured licensing agreements with all of the songwriters!
But, that's what being in a cult does----it breeds and creates a sense of entitlement among former cult members to take, use and profit from anything that was produced when the cult existed; especially in the delusional belief that any music produced, during the cult belonged to the collective. It's my understanding from the copyright office that any song recorded after Feb. 15, 1972 was automatically covered by Federal Copyright law and that anyone wanting to sell or distribute albums containing sound recordings needed permission/a signed licensing agreement with the songwriter! Wow, that didn't happen! So, two former Source Family cult members put their 'foundation' stamp of ownership on all of the songs and performances made by the individual singers, songwriters and musicians who populated The Source Family.
Although, I do not really fault the filmmakers, because I believe that they were given false, misleading and incorrect information to begin with by the two individuals hellbent on their own self-promotion who convinced the filmmakers they owned all of the rights to all of the music recorded during The Source Family cult daze. Les Adam died a few months ago never seeing a single dime from the use and sales of any of his songs or performances from his time spent in The Source Family, because two individuals felt that they had more right to his music than he did. For me, this was and is unforgivable and amidst the self-proclaimed 'high priestess' and 'keeper of the archives' of one individual and all of the other lofty titles adopted by the two people behind the licensing and sales of what has been called 'Father Yod' or 'Source Family' music has been nothing more than greedy self-promotion, along with an in-your-face blatant ripoff of all the songs and music created by individuals who should have been rightfully acknowledged and compensated. Weak platitudes after-the-fact are the only thing offered, by the person who is the worst offender. I ask the public this: how would you feel if your deceased husband's or wife's or own parent's songs and music were taken and used in both a film and on a soundtrack without your prior knowledge or approval? And how in God's name did The Source Foundation have the right to pass on or sell the 'rights' to all of the albums produced during the heyday of The Source Family to another record label, when they/'the foundation' held no rights to the music, to begin with! This makes no sense to me whatsoever----how other entities can sell/profit from the songs and music of other people where no licensing agreements or contracts were ever obtained! Do you think that it is ethically, morally or legally right that someone else sell your family member's songs and music with absolutely no compensation going to the artist or the artist's family? In my mind, the rightful heirs ie the sons and daughters/wives/husbands (including Jim Baker's own biological children) of any singer/songwriter/musician who performed on any of the albums that were produced and recorded during the time the entire Source Family lived together (circa 1973) should be compensated for the continued sales or use of any of the music. But, hey that's just me.
The majority of songwriters and musicians who performed on what has been labeled 'Source Family music' never saw a dime from any of the music sales! But, the two people who were pushing and promoting the entire Source Family mythos on to an unsuspecting public felt extremely justified in everything that they did. Operating on the assumption that nobody was going to challenge anything that either of those two did, they entered into contracts with outside entities to market, license and sell all of the albums and music that were produced, during the brief window of time at The Father House in Los Angeles, while only involving a couple of musicians and completely ignoring the feelings or wishes of other individuals who contributed to the volume of music that had been produced.
Les Adam, who was called Rhythm, was one of those individuals who was completely ignored who had his rights trampled on and was never compensated properly for the use and sale of his own original songs and performances! Les Adam was by far the most accomplished musician of the entire group capable of playing both acoustic and electric guitar, piano and electric keyboards, as well as being one of the strongest and best songwriters and singers in The Source Family, during its existence. Yet, Rhythm wasn't even credited in the 2012 film for three of his songs that were used (Take A Ride, Party Song and Woman), but rather due to the usurping of the individual musician's rights in order to push through completion of the film; the credit for Take A Ride was given to the wrong person, and no credit whatsoever was given for the other two songs written and performed by Les Adam. Instead, the film credits read that all songs used in the 2012 film were 'by permission of the source foundation'! What a joke, when no permission was obtained on the part of the actual songwriters!
Tim Garon was also completely left out/ignored in being given any film credit for his songs Every Morning and Woman Beyond The Sun. Unbelievably, neither Tim or Les were even given a 'Gratitude' credit! No effort was made to make sure that the music credits were done correctly in the film; primarily because the two former Source Family people who were working with the filmmakers did not want to involve any other former members, in order for those two individuals to maintain their tight control over the entire project. Les and I spoke on the phone quite a bit about how angry he was about the way that he was just expected to comply with whatever those two individuals did who had entered into licensing agreements to market and sell the albums that had been made, during the brief window of time The Source Family existed----albums that contained Les Adam's songs and performances and receiving no compensation whatsoever. Les told me over the phone a week or so before he died that he had called and asked one of the people if they could help him out with money, since he was undergoing treatment for throat cancer, but was told there was 'no money' for him; yet the person he had asked for money had used profits from the film to fly around the country doing interviews and photo ops about herself.
The defense made by the two individuals who have marketed and sold music calling it 'Source Family music' (this has been going on since the mid-nineties) continue to say there has been no profit made from the sales of any music, and if so that it has been only a miniscule amount----that statement alone was supposed to appease and placate all of the musicians and songwriters who were completely taken advantage of and basically ripped off! The fact that very little profit has been made, from music sales is beside the point, but it was the only excuse given by the two individuals who ignored addressing the real issue----which was that songs and music have been taken and used without any prior approval or compensation going to the individuals who created the music! The main issue has been completely ignored, until recently where it appears The Source Foundation is being dissolved (Thank God) and any licensing agreements (a few that had been obtained) had been passed on to Starry Records in Los Angeles supposedly since June, and so it will be interesting to see how that plays out especially since The Source Foundation never secured licensing agreements with all of the songwriters!
But, that's what being in a cult does----it breeds and creates a sense of entitlement among former cult members to take, use and profit from anything that was produced when the cult existed; especially in the delusional belief that any music produced, during the cult belonged to the collective. It's my understanding from the copyright office that any song recorded after Feb. 15, 1972 was automatically covered by Federal Copyright law and that anyone wanting to sell or distribute albums containing sound recordings needed permission/a signed licensing agreement with the songwriter! Wow, that didn't happen! So, two former Source Family cult members put their 'foundation' stamp of ownership on all of the songs and performances made by the individual singers, songwriters and musicians who populated The Source Family.
Although, I do not really fault the filmmakers, because I believe that they were given false, misleading and incorrect information to begin with by the two individuals hellbent on their own self-promotion who convinced the filmmakers they owned all of the rights to all of the music recorded during The Source Family cult daze. Les Adam died a few months ago never seeing a single dime from the use and sales of any of his songs or performances from his time spent in The Source Family, because two individuals felt that they had more right to his music than he did. For me, this was and is unforgivable and amidst the self-proclaimed 'high priestess' and 'keeper of the archives' of one individual and all of the other lofty titles adopted by the two people behind the licensing and sales of what has been called 'Father Yod' or 'Source Family' music has been nothing more than greedy self-promotion, along with an in-your-face blatant ripoff of all the songs and music created by individuals who should have been rightfully acknowledged and compensated. Weak platitudes after-the-fact are the only thing offered, by the person who is the worst offender. I ask the public this: how would you feel if your deceased husband's or wife's or own parent's songs and music were taken and used in both a film and on a soundtrack without your prior knowledge or approval? And how in God's name did The Source Foundation have the right to pass on or sell the 'rights' to all of the albums produced during the heyday of The Source Family to another record label, when they/'the foundation' held no rights to the music, to begin with! This makes no sense to me whatsoever----how other entities can sell/profit from the songs and music of other people where no licensing agreements or contracts were ever obtained! Do you think that it is ethically, morally or legally right that someone else sell your family member's songs and music with absolutely no compensation going to the artist or the artist's family? In my mind, the rightful heirs ie the sons and daughters/wives/husbands (including Jim Baker's own biological children) of any singer/songwriter/musician who performed on any of the albums that were produced and recorded during the time the entire Source Family lived together (circa 1973) should be compensated for the continued sales or use of any of the music. But, hey that's just me.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Nitrous Oxide and Other Distractions
I thought that I'd recount the time that Father Yod/Yahowha had tanks of nitrous oxide brought to the Father House for morning meditation, and over the following couple of days in what was clearly another sensation-seeking attempt by our 'earthly spiritual father' to entertain himself and the troops. Because over time out of sheer boredom, Jim Baker would use distractions such as using nitrous oxide, in order to try and achieve an even greater level of spiritual insight. But, life in The Source Family did become very monotonous where people's movements and actions became very restricted which is why Father Yod began pounding on the kettle drum and singing in his cacophonous way, and why he would use cocaine with only a select few family members, and why he decided to travel to India with his select women----something that I saw as an attention-seeking trip. Jim Baker thought that if he travelled to India he would be seen or recognized as being a great, spiritual teacher or holy man, especially since he had an entire group of followers waiting anxiously for his return, while he went globetrotting. I believe that Jim Baker's ego grew to tremendous proportions being surrounded by his very own group of followers and that he really came to believe that he would be immediately recognized in the East as being a great, spiritual teacher from the West.
So, Father Yod would constantly search for new ways to keep his boredom at bay like having the entire group use nitrous oxide, or having everyone wander aimlessly around the Bay Area looking for a place to land and attaching some religious or spiritual meaning or significance to that as being the same as when Moses wandered around the desert for 40 years---anything to keep moving to stave off the boredom and repetitious monotony that daily life became within the closed and cloistered Source Family. At one time the entire group ended up in San Francisco and moved into The Atherton Mansion, otherwise known as the 'cat lady' mansion because there was one huge room where a woman had taken in and housed hundreds of homeless cats! How fitting that a house that housed homeless cats would then house a group of homeless cult followers. All that Father Yod seemed to do all day at The Atherton manse was perform 'sex magic' in his upstairs room with his female entourage. I recall throughout the day being subjected to the orgasmic shrieks and shrills emanating throughout the house from his various women where it seemed like some were trying to outdo one another in a competition to see who could have the loudest most vocal orgasm. I could not stand that time at The Atherton Mansion in San Francisco just hanging out in limbo in that huge, vacant house (there was not a stick of furniture) waiting around, while Father Yod had sex in his upstairs room waiting for his next command to move the entire group to its next destination, where he would also spend much of his time continually messing with the lives and relationships of his followers moving family members around and instructing them to be with someone else----like leaving their partner or spouse to go be with or rather serve another, as though we were all pawns on his personal chessboard.
Everyone in The Source Family were expected to do whatever Father Yod told them to do---whether it was to change partners or perform some specific task which was something that he did constantly throughout the brief few years that The Source Family cult existed, but that kind of leader-control of people's personal lives and relationships is indicative of life in a cult. So, anyone who tries to convince you that Jim Baker is worthy of hero-worship or was some kind of living saint is still living in that cult mentality unable to differentiate even forty years out the difference between right and wrong behavior, which is why a few still cling to the belief that everything that Jim Baker did was for a higher, cosmic purpose. Those who showered Jim Baker with elevated and worshipful praise and devotion were also given perks, allowances and niceties not afforded to everyone in the group, because Father Yod definitely had his favorites. A distinct class system grew around Father Yod and the women he designated as being his women and a few of his most devoted and loyal sons, but where other members like me only seemed to occupy space in The Source Family. I just could never worship Yahowha in the way that came to be expected of everyone in the group, especially by the time that the group reached Hawaii where everything really began to unravel.
Jim Baker pursued hedonistic pleasures in order to stave off any lethargy or inertia, whenever he felt that he wasn't moving fast enough along a spiritual path. But, as history has shown---a male ego inflated to enormous proportions surrounded by adoring, fawning people (especially women) proclaiming him to be God possessing infinite wisdom often become debauched and dissipated in their pursuit of pleasure, and so Jim Baker was living out his own fantasies within The Source Family by acquiring multiple women around him whom he designated as being his wives, to playing at being rock star as lead singer/frontman for Yahowa 13 while the rest of the family members like myself stood on the sidelines watching the circus unfold around fulfilling the whims of our spiritual leader.
The entire dynamic of The Source Family revolved around satisfying the whims and desires of Jim Baker and if someone did not see him for the great spiritual God-man that his most devoted followers proclaimed him to be or did not follow all of the imperatives and orders handed down from his council of women then you were marginalized, as those seeking power and perceived position within the family wielded more and more control. I recall one women who loved to carry out Yahowha's orders by marching around policing everyone looking for infractions, who acquired the name 'hatchet lady'. That is how stultifying it became in The Source Family. Either strict adherence to the rules or being kicked out of the group by the council of Yahowha's most controlling women. What an absolute nightmare the entire thing became and thankfully it all finally ended when it did, which is why I am against any revival or renewal of The Source Family. It all became an extremely unhealthy, debauched exercise in cultish rule by a handful of power-hungry women obedient to an older sex-addicted guy with a messiah complex.
So, Father Yod would constantly search for new ways to keep his boredom at bay like having the entire group use nitrous oxide, or having everyone wander aimlessly around the Bay Area looking for a place to land and attaching some religious or spiritual meaning or significance to that as being the same as when Moses wandered around the desert for 40 years---anything to keep moving to stave off the boredom and repetitious monotony that daily life became within the closed and cloistered Source Family. At one time the entire group ended up in San Francisco and moved into The Atherton Mansion, otherwise known as the 'cat lady' mansion because there was one huge room where a woman had taken in and housed hundreds of homeless cats! How fitting that a house that housed homeless cats would then house a group of homeless cult followers. All that Father Yod seemed to do all day at The Atherton manse was perform 'sex magic' in his upstairs room with his female entourage. I recall throughout the day being subjected to the orgasmic shrieks and shrills emanating throughout the house from his various women where it seemed like some were trying to outdo one another in a competition to see who could have the loudest most vocal orgasm. I could not stand that time at The Atherton Mansion in San Francisco just hanging out in limbo in that huge, vacant house (there was not a stick of furniture) waiting around, while Father Yod had sex in his upstairs room waiting for his next command to move the entire group to its next destination, where he would also spend much of his time continually messing with the lives and relationships of his followers moving family members around and instructing them to be with someone else----like leaving their partner or spouse to go be with or rather serve another, as though we were all pawns on his personal chessboard.
Everyone in The Source Family were expected to do whatever Father Yod told them to do---whether it was to change partners or perform some specific task which was something that he did constantly throughout the brief few years that The Source Family cult existed, but that kind of leader-control of people's personal lives and relationships is indicative of life in a cult. So, anyone who tries to convince you that Jim Baker is worthy of hero-worship or was some kind of living saint is still living in that cult mentality unable to differentiate even forty years out the difference between right and wrong behavior, which is why a few still cling to the belief that everything that Jim Baker did was for a higher, cosmic purpose. Those who showered Jim Baker with elevated and worshipful praise and devotion were also given perks, allowances and niceties not afforded to everyone in the group, because Father Yod definitely had his favorites. A distinct class system grew around Father Yod and the women he designated as being his women and a few of his most devoted and loyal sons, but where other members like me only seemed to occupy space in The Source Family. I just could never worship Yahowha in the way that came to be expected of everyone in the group, especially by the time that the group reached Hawaii where everything really began to unravel.
Jim Baker pursued hedonistic pleasures in order to stave off any lethargy or inertia, whenever he felt that he wasn't moving fast enough along a spiritual path. But, as history has shown---a male ego inflated to enormous proportions surrounded by adoring, fawning people (especially women) proclaiming him to be God possessing infinite wisdom often become debauched and dissipated in their pursuit of pleasure, and so Jim Baker was living out his own fantasies within The Source Family by acquiring multiple women around him whom he designated as being his wives, to playing at being rock star as lead singer/frontman for Yahowa 13 while the rest of the family members like myself stood on the sidelines watching the circus unfold around fulfilling the whims of our spiritual leader.
The entire dynamic of The Source Family revolved around satisfying the whims and desires of Jim Baker and if someone did not see him for the great spiritual God-man that his most devoted followers proclaimed him to be or did not follow all of the imperatives and orders handed down from his council of women then you were marginalized, as those seeking power and perceived position within the family wielded more and more control. I recall one women who loved to carry out Yahowha's orders by marching around policing everyone looking for infractions, who acquired the name 'hatchet lady'. That is how stultifying it became in The Source Family. Either strict adherence to the rules or being kicked out of the group by the council of Yahowha's most controlling women. What an absolute nightmare the entire thing became and thankfully it all finally ended when it did, which is why I am against any revival or renewal of The Source Family. It all became an extremely unhealthy, debauched exercise in cultish rule by a handful of power-hungry women obedient to an older sex-addicted guy with a messiah complex.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
A Legacy Not Worth Saving
It is easy to forget about the many casualties of The Source Family, amidst the media flurry and exaggerated claims being made about Father Yod and 'life in the family', but there were more casualties from being in the family, than not. Firstly, there is the emotional damage that Jim Baker left behind by impregnating three different women, during his reign over The Source Family. One of those women was his own wife, Robin Baker (known as Ahom) who gave up her own pursuit and dream of becoming an actress in Hollywood when she met and married Jim Baker; whom she believed to be 'the love of her life.' Robin Baker was as instrumental in the formation of The Source Family, as Jim Baker; in fact per Tim Garon who spent an entire year with Jim and Robin, prior to the formation of The Brotherhood of The Source; it was Robin's idea to start their own spiritual family, after Jim Baker decided to leave Yogi Bhajan. Tim also stated that Jim Baker's reason for leaving the yogi was because Jim had found out that Bhajan was having sex with various women in his ashram! But, Robin was young and beautiful when she met Jim Baker in the late sixties where she adopted/took on the role of a spiritual mentor or mother to those who came to her morning classes held at The Source Restaurant where some became inspired by her. Because in the early days of The Source Family, Robin Baker embodied all of the qualities that you might expect to find in an Aquarian Age 'earthly spiritual mother': beauty, warmth, compassion and kindness. Robin embraced her new role as 'spiritual mother'; a complement to Jim Baker's role as 'earthly spiritual father.' Most everyone who joined in the early days of the group referred to Robin Baker with the endearing term of Mother. Robin was the inspiration for several of the young women who joined as she and her husband were laying (no pun intended) the foundation for their New Age Aquarian family. But, Robin had no idea what was in store for her, or what she would have to endure in helping her husband to form his own Aquarian family; she didn't know that very soon after young women who had been inspired by her began to join would be approached by her husband soliciting some to bear his child to further his delusion of creating a super race of Aquarian children via his seed. Jim Baker's plan to impregnate some of the young women who began to join his family came as a shock and a surprise to Robin, but she was now married to the man. So, Robin Baker did her best to adapt and adjust to her husband's objective, hoping and praying that he might soon see the error of his ways and stop his pursuit of other women in the newly formed group; although that did not happen until the final days of his life. Robin had already invested so much of her life in helping her husband create The Source Family, along with nurturing and cultivating relationships with other family members which combined with becoming pregnant with Jim Baker's child; she made the decision to remain in her demoted position within the family. Because Jim Baker replaced Robin with another dark-haired young woman whom he became enamored who had joined the family; referring to her as his 'mother/angel' whom then all of his attention and focus was then centered, and where Susan (named Makushla) displaced Robin. Susan aka Makushla was then waited on hand and foot and showered with praise and adoration, just as Father Yod and is still seen by some devote former family members as being the head of the defunct Source Family, because of her highly touted position of being 'Yahowha's mother/angel'. So, Robin Baker who was Jim Baker's only legal wife, during the entire course of The Source Family was removed from her role as spiritual mother and replaced with Makushla. This is the kind of legacy that Jim Baker left behind; replacing the women or wives in his life with another who caught his eye, along with having children with different women before The Source Family and during its existence. Jim Baker fathered three children with three different women, during the family daze; but he also had children prior to the formation of The Source Family. Yet, this is the legacy that a couple of people are so intent on saving; a legacy of the use and misuse of women and children by a man who saw himself as god or messiah of the New Age. Many men from Jim Baker's generation found it very easy to move from one woman to another; to leave their wives and children for another woman usually a younger or prettier version of the one they were leaving, and to continue fathering children whom they left with very little thought as to their financial support or security; which is exactly what happened with not only Robin Baker and her infant daughter fathered by Jim Baker, but the two other women whom he also impregnated, during the family. Adding insult to injury, one of the more aggressive council women who still saw herself as one of 'Yahowha's women' tried to wrest any remaining financial interest or money from the sale of The Source Restaurant to go to the support of herself and the other women whom Jim Baker had surrounded himself, rather than to the children Jim Baker had sired in The Source Family. Wow, not any kind of legacy worth saving, in my mind; but more a tragic tale of one man leaving behind a wake of fatherless children and abandoned women!
Sunday, November 29, 2015
WWII Veteran Meets Flower Children
One of the things that the 2012 film made about The Source Family shows is how Jim Baker went from being a wealthy Hollywood playboy who had been arrested on a couple of occasions for using deadly force and supposedly committing bank robberies to his transition into becoming an earthly spiritual father for a group of devoted followers. Aside from the time that Jim Baker spent sitting before Yogi Bhajan, there was little to qualify Jim Baker in becoming a spiritual teacher. Yet, that is what Jim Baker came to be seen by his most devoted followers: their loving, benevolent and wise earthly spiritual father.
Jim Baker is heard in the film in his own words explaining how he felt when he first came across a hippie girl, which was his first exposure to the hippies who had been living a life where free love and peace were prevailing themes. But, Jim Baker came from my parent's generation who lived through WWII----not someone from my own generation. Jim Baker had never been a hippie or ever lived a communal hippie lifestyle where he dropped out from mainstream society, at least not until he decided to form his own spiritual group. To me, there was a glaring generational gap in how Jim Baker perceived things----especially in how he viewed the roles of the men and women who would comprise his New Age/Aquarian family.
My own step-dad, a WWII veteran believed that women had distinct roles that he referred to as woman's work such as making meals and housework----a view that he and Jim Baker seemed to share. I recall when Jim Baker made the analogy of the women or angels (he referred to all the women in the group as angels) having sex with multiple men in the family the same as where one woman would often sexually service more than one man, during times of war. That belief of women sexually servicing multiple men, during times of war was bolstered with him instilling the belief that a war between light and darkness was being waged and that the family members who sat before him were Warriors of Light fighting the dark forces-----a recurring theme in much of Father Yod's rhetoric.
I was dismayed by a lot of what Jim Baker was saying, although; I chose to ignore the alarm bells and red flags and just accepted what my newly found earthly spiritual father was saying, instead choosing to believe at the time, that he must have everyone's best interests at heart. But, one thing became very clear in joining The Source Family, and that was that Jim Baker saw the role of women as one of obedience and servitude.
The Mormons believe that a woman can only get into the kingdom of heaven through a man, which is essentially what Jim Baker also believed----that a woman's liberation from the chains and shackles of this earthly existence and her only true happiness was through her "serving and inspiring" a man. In fact, a woman who chose to go it alone and chose to remain single or independent was seen as being masculine and was looked down upon by Father Yod, because he steadfastly did not believe that women were emotionally equipped to deal with the vicissitudes of life.
Father Yod also did not condone a gay lifestyle and obliquely condemned it, and so when a gay man who joined in the early days divulged to Father Yod his sexual orientation; that man was told that he should leave The Source Family. Jim Baker's intolerance of a gay lifestyle was also indicative of his WWII mentality and generational gap. So, Jim Baker began to glorify and convince the men who joined his group that they were gods or godmen where he used the analogy of the sun shining constant and life-giving rays on woman (or women), who were seen as the moon and were dark, changeable and emotional only capable of reflecting her suns light and could only achieve emotional stability and balance through a man.
Jim Baker believed that a woman's only true lasting happiness was in serving a man, not going out and having a career. This is what all women who joined The Source Family were expected to believe and adopt as being their role in life----to serve one of the suns/sons in the family by taking care of his earth trip, which translated to things like preparing his meals and doing his laundry, giving him foot and full body massages.....even brushing his hair, lest a sun or godman had to descend from his pursuit or contemplation of spirit to perform such a menial task. Along with serving a son, the women or angels were expected to adopt what I saw as a kind of submissive, worshipful obedience that became the expected attitude of women towards their godman.
So, many of us who joined The Brotherhood of The Source tried adopting the roles set out by Father Yod for the women and men in his group, even if those roles set off alarm bells within many of us. In my mind, Jim Baker used the free love that many of us had already been experiencing as hippies that was so prevalent during the sixties and early seventies as a way to live out or fulfill his own male fantasy of having sex with multiple women; especially some very young women, after he decided to become their earthly spiritual father claiming to have had a vision that he was supposed to gather his own children. Because it was much easier to convince his followers to lower their inhibitions and follow or obey his made-up directives around sexual promiscuity, if he claimed they were spiritual teachings and especially easier if those adoring followers saw you as their caring, wise and benevolent spiritual father.
It really was no surprise to learn that a few of Father Yod's women got into prostitution, after The Source Family dispersed, because it was a short step from having sex with multiple men in the family to what some women got paid to do in the real world. So much for New Age/Aquarian peace and love.
Jim Baker is heard in the film in his own words explaining how he felt when he first came across a hippie girl, which was his first exposure to the hippies who had been living a life where free love and peace were prevailing themes. But, Jim Baker came from my parent's generation who lived through WWII----not someone from my own generation. Jim Baker had never been a hippie or ever lived a communal hippie lifestyle where he dropped out from mainstream society, at least not until he decided to form his own spiritual group. To me, there was a glaring generational gap in how Jim Baker perceived things----especially in how he viewed the roles of the men and women who would comprise his New Age/Aquarian family.
My own step-dad, a WWII veteran believed that women had distinct roles that he referred to as woman's work such as making meals and housework----a view that he and Jim Baker seemed to share. I recall when Jim Baker made the analogy of the women or angels (he referred to all the women in the group as angels) having sex with multiple men in the family the same as where one woman would often sexually service more than one man, during times of war. That belief of women sexually servicing multiple men, during times of war was bolstered with him instilling the belief that a war between light and darkness was being waged and that the family members who sat before him were Warriors of Light fighting the dark forces-----a recurring theme in much of Father Yod's rhetoric.
I was dismayed by a lot of what Jim Baker was saying, although; I chose to ignore the alarm bells and red flags and just accepted what my newly found earthly spiritual father was saying, instead choosing to believe at the time, that he must have everyone's best interests at heart. But, one thing became very clear in joining The Source Family, and that was that Jim Baker saw the role of women as one of obedience and servitude.
The Mormons believe that a woman can only get into the kingdom of heaven through a man, which is essentially what Jim Baker also believed----that a woman's liberation from the chains and shackles of this earthly existence and her only true happiness was through her "serving and inspiring" a man. In fact, a woman who chose to go it alone and chose to remain single or independent was seen as being masculine and was looked down upon by Father Yod, because he steadfastly did not believe that women were emotionally equipped to deal with the vicissitudes of life.
Father Yod also did not condone a gay lifestyle and obliquely condemned it, and so when a gay man who joined in the early days divulged to Father Yod his sexual orientation; that man was told that he should leave The Source Family. Jim Baker's intolerance of a gay lifestyle was also indicative of his WWII mentality and generational gap. So, Jim Baker began to glorify and convince the men who joined his group that they were gods or godmen where he used the analogy of the sun shining constant and life-giving rays on woman (or women), who were seen as the moon and were dark, changeable and emotional only capable of reflecting her suns light and could only achieve emotional stability and balance through a man.
Jim Baker believed that a woman's only true lasting happiness was in serving a man, not going out and having a career. This is what all women who joined The Source Family were expected to believe and adopt as being their role in life----to serve one of the suns/sons in the family by taking care of his earth trip, which translated to things like preparing his meals and doing his laundry, giving him foot and full body massages.....even brushing his hair, lest a sun or godman had to descend from his pursuit or contemplation of spirit to perform such a menial task. Along with serving a son, the women or angels were expected to adopt what I saw as a kind of submissive, worshipful obedience that became the expected attitude of women towards their godman.
So, many of us who joined The Brotherhood of The Source tried adopting the roles set out by Father Yod for the women and men in his group, even if those roles set off alarm bells within many of us. In my mind, Jim Baker used the free love that many of us had already been experiencing as hippies that was so prevalent during the sixties and early seventies as a way to live out or fulfill his own male fantasy of having sex with multiple women; especially some very young women, after he decided to become their earthly spiritual father claiming to have had a vision that he was supposed to gather his own children. Because it was much easier to convince his followers to lower their inhibitions and follow or obey his made-up directives around sexual promiscuity, if he claimed they were spiritual teachings and especially easier if those adoring followers saw you as their caring, wise and benevolent spiritual father.
It really was no surprise to learn that a few of Father Yod's women got into prostitution, after The Source Family dispersed, because it was a short step from having sex with multiple men in the family to what some women got paid to do in the real world. So much for New Age/Aquarian peace and love.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Affectations and Magical Thinking
I thought that I would write about the 'magical thinking' that defined life in The Source Family, and the many affectations that 'family' members adopted beginning with the way that Jim Baker would often speak with the affectation of 'a guru from India.' Perhaps by affecting the speech of his own 'spiritual' master, Yogi Bhajan; Jim Baker thought that he'd be perceived as being a 'spiritual master' himself. Who knows, but I always thought it sounded very pretentious, whenever he began speaking in that way. It seemed that Jim Baker would adopt an Indian guru speech affectation whenever there were 'outsiders' present, or non-family members whom he wanted to impress. Because, Jim Baker was all about putting on a good show. So much of life in The Source Family was about 'putting on a show' or presentation and attracting attention. I often found Father Yod to be extremely embarrassing, with his speech affectations and his incessant 'teaching' or proselytizing and lecturing often in a loud and bombastic way.
Given Father Yod's presentation, it's no wonder that other family members soon adopted their own 'spiritual' affectations and behaviors, in wanting to copy or emulate their spiritual 'teacher', and to give the appearance of having attained a higher consciousness or some kind of enlightened, spiritual superiority which seemed to be the expression of many in The Source Family. Those who became convinced by Father Yod that they were the 'saints' and 'sages' and 'saviors' of the world dressed all in white following an older man around sporting a beard and long hair doing a good impression of Moses was a heady mix for some who were willing and eager to adopt their own 'spiritual' persona; who also wanted to be seen as being wise and 'enlightened' or 'chosen' to be in God's army leading the way for mankind----that was the climate that anyone joining The Brotherhood of The Source would have found themselves in.
Initially, what Jim Baker was offering did sound wonderful and appealing. But, soon like many older men of his generation; Jim Baker succumbed to the allure or enticement of having women prostrate themselves in front of him and soon saw how accessible they were sexually, especially in his new role of 'earthly spiritual father'----the same allure that many other gurus, swamis and spiritual leaders succumbed to and had become all too common.
If Jim Baker had been able to 'keep it in his pants', perhaps The Brotherhood of The Source might have taken another direction rather than the one that it did. If Jim Baker had been able to remain committed and loyal to his new bride, Robin Baker, rather than 'the family' becoming a cult where the practice of 'sex magic' took precedence, perhaps something healthy and sustainable might have been created. But, Jim Baker was a victim of his own sexual desires and inclinations, and his own desire or need to garner attention to himself, by gathering his own group of adoring followers just as Yogi Bhajan had done.
Unfortunately, Jim Baker decided that it was his role to impregnate as many women as he possibly could, in order to create a super race of what he considered 'conscious' Aquarian children and so he began grooming one of the first young women to join his 'family' who was all of fourteen, but who soon decided to leave the group after realizing that she had not joined to break up a marriage or procreate with a man whom she saw as her 'spiritual father.' But, the die was cast and Jim Baker continued his acquisition of more and more women who joined his family, while expounding and espousing on 'spirit' and about attaining a 'higher consciousness' in order to lead humanity out of the darkness and into the 'new age'.
Adopting 'magical thinking' became the norm within The Source Family, from believing that rain water called 'tahuti water' contained magical properties, or that an 'elemental kingdom' existed where elemental spirits inhabited fire, water, air and earth, to imbuing inanimate objects with talismanic properties, or attaching numen to the places wherever 'the family' resided (like Lanikai Beach on the windward side of Oahu), or how a special 'soma' drink was prepared during a full moon to be used in ceremonial magic (the only drink that contained alcohol), where exhaling aggressively through your nostrils was seen as a way of expelling 'negative' thoughts. Yes, welcome to the whacky, weird world of the 'magical thinking' that prevailed in The Source Family, and the affectations that would define the entire experience. Where staring unblinking into the sun at sunrise and sunset was practiced on a regular basis, along with sending imaginary waves from the pineal gland in your brain down through your body into the earth as a way to cleanse your 'ethereal' body.
Life in The Source Family was centered around the belief and practices of 'new age' and occult magic, along with seeing 'signs' in everything. There was also a large degree of idleness within The Source Family. There was a lot of 'hanging out' and just doing nothing, especially among the women, since Jim Baker would only allow the men or 'sons' to conduct 'outside' business enterprises or work in the restaurant, due to Father Yod's belief that women were not emotionally equipped to deal with the outside world, and therefore should be protected from it. There were a few exceptions like allowing women to work in The Source Restaurant, since his 'sons' were nearby, if protection was needed. A few women were allowed to conduct 'family' business on the 'outside' on occasion, but overall the majority of women spent the day doing all of the menial, household chores such as cleaning, laundry and childcare. For being an 'aquarian' family, I found the roles of men and women in The Source Family outdated and sexist resembling that in biblical times, especially eschewing the use of doctors and modern medicine.
One of the things that many of us did after being on 'the outside' upon returning to the 'circumvent force' (a kundalini yoga term that Jim Baker adopted) or 'magical boundary' of the family, was to take a cold shower or go into the ocean (when in Hawaii) to wash off the 'bad vibes' that may have attached themselves while being out in the 'maya'....invisible cooties if you will. So, Father Yod prescribed several 'psychic cleansing' actions to cleanse away any psychic negativity that may have attached to 'family' members who spent time 'outside' in the world. There was quite a lot of magical thinking in The Source Family; like the belief that an adept (an accomplished master of the spiritual realms) just showed up one day at The Father House and presented Father Yod with the Mystic Road (a series of repetitive mental exercises to increase concentration) that has become a fulcrum, by some of Father Yod's 'teachings'; only to have this adept leave never to be seen or heard from again! Magic! One of the most common and overused of psychic protections was to aggressively exhale through your nostrils to expel any negative thoughts, or verbally eructing the word "Tau!" as another way to drive out unwanted thoughts, which also became one of the most adopted idiosyncrasies that everyone did in response to something they found unpleasant.....using "tau!" was the equivalent of saying "No More!" or "Enough!."
Jim Baker was also really into 'testing' members of his flock, in order to determine their 'spiritual' resolve or commitment to him, and so he would often either kick people out of 'the family', or instruct them to carry out certain tasks as 'a test', because Father Yod believed that having his 'children' overcome challenges or adversity would 'test their mettle.' Although, I observed that these 'tests' never seemed to extend to those whom Father Yod favored, which is also why it's easy to see why some former family members have only happy memories of their time spent in The Source Family. A few people were pampered and coddled and given 'special treatment and dispensation' simply for being 'favorites' of Father Yod. That is how it worked in The Source Family. It meant that if you were one of his 'favorites' than you were at the receiving end of having money, travel or tools/equipment at your disposal, or if you were one of 'his women', it meant having access to nicer dresses and/or jewelry, as well as the first and best selection of foods set aside for Father Yod which is why a few of the women who chose to become one of Father Yod's 'women' saw it as an opportunity to gain status and access to more within 'the family.'
I was in The Source Family for six years and never had one piece of jewelry. My lack of nice dresses and jewelry of any kind spoke volumes about my own status within the family. But, then seeking favor or supplicating myself before Jim Baker was not something that I was interested in doing. I guess that's how it was supposed to work in this 'new age', aquarian family---only those who were the most favored, or devoted or the most appealing or pleasing to Father Yod were given preferential treatment.
Another form of testing imposed by Jim Baker was placing women within 'the family' with one of his 'sons', or instructing one of his 'sons' to accept certain women as their 'angel', even if it meant a woman leaving her spouse or husband to go 'be with' or serve another man (son) in the family. If someone got a staph infection, it was also seen as 'a test.' Absolutely everything within the group was seen as some kind of 'spiritual' test. The prevailing belief of Father Yod was that 'spirit' was guiding his words and actions----a delusional belief that a few devoted followers still purport as being true.
Since Jim Baker was viewed as being a great, spiritual teacher by his followers and in possession of ancient, esoteric and occult knowledge; a kind of dependent, childlike behavior ensued where Source Family members would ask his advice or counsel on absolutely everything. When your entire life is reduced to following the beliefs and edicts of one man, who is seen as being a great spiritual leader; it does not leave much room for individual or autonomous decision-making. Everyone's actions and speech were scrutinized continually and you either adopted the groupspeak and affectations of everyone else in The Source Family or you left, or were kicked out.
Magical thinking permeated every aspect of daily life in The Source Family, and is also what lead to or contributed to some of its more tragic outcomes by believing that 'spirit' guided and directed everything to such an extent that normal emotions or reactions of individuals became anaesthetized. A perfect example was when Jim Baker crash-landed on the beach and lay there surrounded by a group of his followers who were unsure what to do, because of the indoctrination and groupthink that prevailed that 'Yahowha' was still in control and that 'spirit' would decide his fate.
There were other examples of how healthy, individual emotional responses and behaviors were muted, subdued or lacking due to the indoctrination and supplicant behavior by the individual's who comprised The Source Family, to where individual autonomy and decision-making were supplanted with the will of Father Yod and/or 'his women.' I believe that it was because of the childlike dependence of 'family' members on Father Yod, that the ability for people to act independently was lost----where individuals were unable to respond appropriately afraid of going against the prevailing groupthink.
Loss of personal autonomy is one of the signature features found in cults----an inability to respond or act accordingly to what is best for the individual, in fear of going against the group. By only doing what was sanctioned and approved by Father Yod, people became disempowered and enervated.
Although, it is embarrassing to write about being in The Source Family, because most nowadays will read this and say, "what the hell, why would anyone subject themselves to any of that?", which is why the majority of men and women who shared the same experience of being in The Source Family have chosen to remain silent out of embarrassment for having subjected themselves to the roles and occult practices expected of them.
Given Father Yod's presentation, it's no wonder that other family members soon adopted their own 'spiritual' affectations and behaviors, in wanting to copy or emulate their spiritual 'teacher', and to give the appearance of having attained a higher consciousness or some kind of enlightened, spiritual superiority which seemed to be the expression of many in The Source Family. Those who became convinced by Father Yod that they were the 'saints' and 'sages' and 'saviors' of the world dressed all in white following an older man around sporting a beard and long hair doing a good impression of Moses was a heady mix for some who were willing and eager to adopt their own 'spiritual' persona; who also wanted to be seen as being wise and 'enlightened' or 'chosen' to be in God's army leading the way for mankind----that was the climate that anyone joining The Brotherhood of The Source would have found themselves in.
Initially, what Jim Baker was offering did sound wonderful and appealing. But, soon like many older men of his generation; Jim Baker succumbed to the allure or enticement of having women prostrate themselves in front of him and soon saw how accessible they were sexually, especially in his new role of 'earthly spiritual father'----the same allure that many other gurus, swamis and spiritual leaders succumbed to and had become all too common.
If Jim Baker had been able to 'keep it in his pants', perhaps The Brotherhood of The Source might have taken another direction rather than the one that it did. If Jim Baker had been able to remain committed and loyal to his new bride, Robin Baker, rather than 'the family' becoming a cult where the practice of 'sex magic' took precedence, perhaps something healthy and sustainable might have been created. But, Jim Baker was a victim of his own sexual desires and inclinations, and his own desire or need to garner attention to himself, by gathering his own group of adoring followers just as Yogi Bhajan had done.
Unfortunately, Jim Baker decided that it was his role to impregnate as many women as he possibly could, in order to create a super race of what he considered 'conscious' Aquarian children and so he began grooming one of the first young women to join his 'family' who was all of fourteen, but who soon decided to leave the group after realizing that she had not joined to break up a marriage or procreate with a man whom she saw as her 'spiritual father.' But, the die was cast and Jim Baker continued his acquisition of more and more women who joined his family, while expounding and espousing on 'spirit' and about attaining a 'higher consciousness' in order to lead humanity out of the darkness and into the 'new age'.
Adopting 'magical thinking' became the norm within The Source Family, from believing that rain water called 'tahuti water' contained magical properties, or that an 'elemental kingdom' existed where elemental spirits inhabited fire, water, air and earth, to imbuing inanimate objects with talismanic properties, or attaching numen to the places wherever 'the family' resided (like Lanikai Beach on the windward side of Oahu), or how a special 'soma' drink was prepared during a full moon to be used in ceremonial magic (the only drink that contained alcohol), where exhaling aggressively through your nostrils was seen as a way of expelling 'negative' thoughts. Yes, welcome to the whacky, weird world of the 'magical thinking' that prevailed in The Source Family, and the affectations that would define the entire experience. Where staring unblinking into the sun at sunrise and sunset was practiced on a regular basis, along with sending imaginary waves from the pineal gland in your brain down through your body into the earth as a way to cleanse your 'ethereal' body.
Life in The Source Family was centered around the belief and practices of 'new age' and occult magic, along with seeing 'signs' in everything. There was also a large degree of idleness within The Source Family. There was a lot of 'hanging out' and just doing nothing, especially among the women, since Jim Baker would only allow the men or 'sons' to conduct 'outside' business enterprises or work in the restaurant, due to Father Yod's belief that women were not emotionally equipped to deal with the outside world, and therefore should be protected from it. There were a few exceptions like allowing women to work in The Source Restaurant, since his 'sons' were nearby, if protection was needed. A few women were allowed to conduct 'family' business on the 'outside' on occasion, but overall the majority of women spent the day doing all of the menial, household chores such as cleaning, laundry and childcare. For being an 'aquarian' family, I found the roles of men and women in The Source Family outdated and sexist resembling that in biblical times, especially eschewing the use of doctors and modern medicine.
One of the things that many of us did after being on 'the outside' upon returning to the 'circumvent force' (a kundalini yoga term that Jim Baker adopted) or 'magical boundary' of the family, was to take a cold shower or go into the ocean (when in Hawaii) to wash off the 'bad vibes' that may have attached themselves while being out in the 'maya'....invisible cooties if you will. So, Father Yod prescribed several 'psychic cleansing' actions to cleanse away any psychic negativity that may have attached to 'family' members who spent time 'outside' in the world. There was quite a lot of magical thinking in The Source Family; like the belief that an adept (an accomplished master of the spiritual realms) just showed up one day at The Father House and presented Father Yod with the Mystic Road (a series of repetitive mental exercises to increase concentration) that has become a fulcrum, by some of Father Yod's 'teachings'; only to have this adept leave never to be seen or heard from again! Magic! One of the most common and overused of psychic protections was to aggressively exhale through your nostrils to expel any negative thoughts, or verbally eructing the word "Tau!" as another way to drive out unwanted thoughts, which also became one of the most adopted idiosyncrasies that everyone did in response to something they found unpleasant.....using "tau!" was the equivalent of saying "No More!" or "Enough!."
Jim Baker was also really into 'testing' members of his flock, in order to determine their 'spiritual' resolve or commitment to him, and so he would often either kick people out of 'the family', or instruct them to carry out certain tasks as 'a test', because Father Yod believed that having his 'children' overcome challenges or adversity would 'test their mettle.' Although, I observed that these 'tests' never seemed to extend to those whom Father Yod favored, which is also why it's easy to see why some former family members have only happy memories of their time spent in The Source Family. A few people were pampered and coddled and given 'special treatment and dispensation' simply for being 'favorites' of Father Yod. That is how it worked in The Source Family. It meant that if you were one of his 'favorites' than you were at the receiving end of having money, travel or tools/equipment at your disposal, or if you were one of 'his women', it meant having access to nicer dresses and/or jewelry, as well as the first and best selection of foods set aside for Father Yod which is why a few of the women who chose to become one of Father Yod's 'women' saw it as an opportunity to gain status and access to more within 'the family.'
I was in The Source Family for six years and never had one piece of jewelry. My lack of nice dresses and jewelry of any kind spoke volumes about my own status within the family. But, then seeking favor or supplicating myself before Jim Baker was not something that I was interested in doing. I guess that's how it was supposed to work in this 'new age', aquarian family---only those who were the most favored, or devoted or the most appealing or pleasing to Father Yod were given preferential treatment.
Another form of testing imposed by Jim Baker was placing women within 'the family' with one of his 'sons', or instructing one of his 'sons' to accept certain women as their 'angel', even if it meant a woman leaving her spouse or husband to go 'be with' or serve another man (son) in the family. If someone got a staph infection, it was also seen as 'a test.' Absolutely everything within the group was seen as some kind of 'spiritual' test. The prevailing belief of Father Yod was that 'spirit' was guiding his words and actions----a delusional belief that a few devoted followers still purport as being true.
Since Jim Baker was viewed as being a great, spiritual teacher by his followers and in possession of ancient, esoteric and occult knowledge; a kind of dependent, childlike behavior ensued where Source Family members would ask his advice or counsel on absolutely everything. When your entire life is reduced to following the beliefs and edicts of one man, who is seen as being a great spiritual leader; it does not leave much room for individual or autonomous decision-making. Everyone's actions and speech were scrutinized continually and you either adopted the groupspeak and affectations of everyone else in The Source Family or you left, or were kicked out.
Magical thinking permeated every aspect of daily life in The Source Family, and is also what lead to or contributed to some of its more tragic outcomes by believing that 'spirit' guided and directed everything to such an extent that normal emotions or reactions of individuals became anaesthetized. A perfect example was when Jim Baker crash-landed on the beach and lay there surrounded by a group of his followers who were unsure what to do, because of the indoctrination and groupthink that prevailed that 'Yahowha' was still in control and that 'spirit' would decide his fate.
There were other examples of how healthy, individual emotional responses and behaviors were muted, subdued or lacking due to the indoctrination and supplicant behavior by the individual's who comprised The Source Family, to where individual autonomy and decision-making were supplanted with the will of Father Yod and/or 'his women.' I believe that it was because of the childlike dependence of 'family' members on Father Yod, that the ability for people to act independently was lost----where individuals were unable to respond appropriately afraid of going against the prevailing groupthink.
Loss of personal autonomy is one of the signature features found in cults----an inability to respond or act accordingly to what is best for the individual, in fear of going against the group. By only doing what was sanctioned and approved by Father Yod, people became disempowered and enervated.
Although, it is embarrassing to write about being in The Source Family, because most nowadays will read this and say, "what the hell, why would anyone subject themselves to any of that?", which is why the majority of men and women who shared the same experience of being in The Source Family have chosen to remain silent out of embarrassment for having subjected themselves to the roles and occult practices expected of them.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)