Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Stretching the Truth

I recently listened to a podcast by two young women about Jim Baker and The Source Family, and to the credit of one of the young women she had made an effort to find newspaper articles in search of factual information about Baker, and she talked about finding this article in the San Bernardino Sun from 1955 https://www.newspapers.com/clip/6134211/1955-nov-6-zimm-judo/ about the time that Jim Baker judo chopped and killed his neighbor in a dispute about the way that Baker took care of the guy's dog, while the guy was in jail, and she also referenced the article saying how Baker had claimed to the reporter that he had won 'the 1948 World Judo Championship with Wild Bill Zim of Argentina' fueling my interest to find out if that was a valid claim made by Baker.  Here's another newspaper clipping from 1955 where Jim Baker made the same claim.

With a simple google search I found a website about Wild Bill Zim, a wrestler from New York (not Argentina) who did participate in a judo exhibition with Baker in 1948 and quickly lost to Baker, for obvious reasons such as Wild Bill was a wrestler and did not practice judo and wasn't proficient at it, as was Jim Baker.  So, the exhibition wasn't a World Judo Championship by any means which makes you wonder why Jim Baker would make such a claim.  I don't recall Jim Baker ever talking about any of his past exploits and if he did, I was not present and only learned about them years after The Source Family had disbanded and one person took it upon herself to try and resurrect the whole thing.  I had never heard of Jim Baker being called 'the world's strongest boy', as my old friend, Robert aka Omne stated in the 2012 film.  But, considering Jim Baker's younger days growing up during the Great Depression in Cincinatti at a time when people would often claim being 'the strongest' of this or that; it came as no surprise that Baker may have elaborated about himself.  Here is an interesting link about 'the world's strongest men from around the time when Jim Baker was growing up https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/early-strongmen-photographs/#:~:text=21-year-old%20Swansea%20tailor%20Harry%20Pelta%2C%20winner%20of%20the,supports%20a%20200-pound%20motorcycle%20and%20its%20rider.%201932..  Baker was trying to make a name for himself, and so I can understand why he might have embellished his past accomplishments in order to appear as the strongest or a world champion of something.

Wild Bill Zim's son found several newspaper articles in the Cincinatti Times from 1946 through 1949 about Jim Baker and sent them to me and I've included links to those articles.  I found contradictions about Baker's father, where in the San Bernardino Sun article Baker told the reporter that his father was a Chicago detective killed by gangsters, and in another article it states that Baker's father was a professional wrestler and that Jim lived with him in Vallejo, California in 1938.  It was my understanding that Jim Baker's father left him and his mother in Ohio when Baker was very young, and that was what the majority of former members like me understood to be true.  In Charlene Peter's book about the Source Family she wrote that Baker's father was a firefighter. 

There is also the claim that Jim Baker earned a Silver Star at Guadalcanal during World War II for shooting down 13 Japanese bombers, although some have searched the Army database for Marines awarded a Silver Star and could not find a citation for James Edward Baker.  Although, an article about weightlifting in Strength and Health magazine from 1945 about Jim Baker mentions him 'sporting a decoration for conspicuous gallantry'.  Here is that article: 

 Another version was that Baker had punched his commanding officer while on the USS Chicago and was being taken to the brig when the Japanese began to attack the ship, and that he didn't actually receive a Silver Star citation, due to him assaulting an officer. 

At least these newspaper articles from 1940's Cincinatti gave me more insight into the kind of young man that Jim Baker was and how in one article he was described as being 'a hustler in capital letters' https://www.newspapers.com/clip/20267738/1949-jan-26-jim-baker-judo-champ-muscle/?fbclid=IwAR1FFOz-e31eieBuMePXS0eI1IeasoyB-ibf6838FSO5uNpjXgNhusHThU8---a young man into weightlifting and physical fitness who taught judo and joined the Marines who may have stretched the truth about his accomplishments and titles.  It's easy to see how stretching the truth served Jim Baker's purpose again when he gathered a group of much younger, adoring followers around him convincing them that he was their 'earthly spiritual father' and then deciding to have multiple 'spiritual wives' in addition to his only legal wife at the time, Robin Baker to have them all wait on him and pamper him in obedience and supplication.    

Here are more articles that mention Jim Baker from The Cincinatti Times.






I found this website with historical photos taken at Venice Beach from 1949 when bodybuilding and weightlifting were hugely popular which shows the health and fitness culture that Jim Baker had become a part of when he was in Los Angeles. https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/original-muscle-beach-1949/?fbclid=IwAR26MEWky-LZic1A7CaH_pMiChiYFYdK_-jcATxxrORb2XG_akM_qFE3XuM

Anyway, I believe in giving credit where credit is due to Jim Baker for whatever he did accomplish in his life.  It's just that I cannot give him credit for being 'an earthly spiritual father' or a 'wise and enlightened spiritual teacher' when he repeatedly transgressed the personal and sexual boundaries of many of the women, after he formed The Brotherhood of The Source; especially young women who were 14, 15, 16 and 17 years old.  Whether or not it was the early seventies when 'free love' and 'sexual liberation' abounded as part of the counterculture; it doesn't excuse the fact that Jim Baker, the father of a daughter should have known better.

Thursday, February 23, 2023

Rewriting History

The definition of rewrite history is the following:  select or interpret events from the past in a way that suits one's own particular purposes.  So, if Charlene Peters aka Isis Aquarian who claims to be the record-keeper and historian of The Source Family along with her other self-appointed titles such as High Priestess and Temple Keeper could be accused of anything; it's the fact that she has rewritten the history of The Source Family to suit her own sanitized, whitewashed and embellished storyline leaving out any mention of the sexual ritual called qudosh, along with her efforts to minimize or underscore the fact that babies died at The Father House in Los Angeles and were buried on the hillside.  Babies who might have survived had they been given medical treatment of any kind.  But, dead babies is a subject which Charlene has tried to underplay, as if those infant deaths had been unpreventable and 'just happened'; when the truth and reality is the fact that no one dared go against Jim Baker's tenet that no one seek or use outside medical help of any kind.  But, Charlene knows the public would not look kindly upon a cult leader who allowed infants to suffer and die, under his watch.  Which is exactly why Charlene went to extremes to obliterate any mention of qudosh when she had the person copying the cassette tapes labeled 'meditation tapes' remove any parts of the tapes where Jim Baker talked about qudosh. 

Covering up and hiding the truth about something that became the most important of Jim Baker's so-called 'aquarian teachings' became very important to Charlene Peters for two reasons:  1) because she wanted to promote herself  2) because Jim Baker warned that anyone who revealed the practice of qudosh would face a lifetime of regret.  Charlene was banking on the fact that no one who was in The Source Family who was either ordered by Jim Baker to perform qudosh or who participated in any way; would never publicly talk about such a thing or admit to having performed.  She was counting on the silence of former members not to reveal the practice of qudosh.

Charlene has a book signing coming up at UC Santa Barbara for her most recent Source Family scrapbook, but I can't help but wonder how the UCSB library would feel about sponsoring and helping promote Charlene's sanitized, whitewashed and embellished version of the history of The Source Family, if they learned that a sexual ritual where a man ingested a woman's menstrual blood was the central most important 'teaching' of Jim Baker's.  Charlene has managed to get UCSB to have an ongoing exhibit titled Lifting the Veil which is so ironic considering she would never want the veil to be lifted enough to reveal the practice of qudosh! 

Concealing the truth about what really went on within The Source Family is unethical in my view, because isn't truth a cornerstone of ethics?  Charlene should have just told the truth about the practice of qudosh, instead of continuing to hide the fact, or using the lame excuse how it was not to be revealed, because of it being some kind of sacred teaching not meant for anyone outside of The Source Family.  

I was sent a copy of the unedited film from 2012 shortly after it premiered at SXSW in Austin, and there was an interview segment with former member, Zinaru who talked about how things changed 'with the introduction of blood', but Charlene had that part of his interview edited out from the final version of the film.  Another example of Charlene's machinations to remove any mention of the practice of qudosh.

The practice of qudosh has left the majority of former Source Family members like myself with feelings of shame, regret and remorse for allowing ourselves to follow Jim Baker's misuse of his power over all of us and performing something that nobody wants to ever talk about.  I know what it's like to admit to having performed qudosh and the embarrassment that goes along with that, but I also feel anger towards Jim Baker for ordering and subjecting me to perform that sexual ritual.  I would rather my adult son not ever learn about or know about qudosh, but it's the truth.  Leaving out the sexual ritual of qudosh from the story allows Charlene to continue promoting herself and her sanitized narrative.  Which is also why I made the decision to speak out and tell the truth about the practice of qudosh, because I feel the public have the right to know.  I understand wanting to present The Source Family as being some New Age benign, harmless rock and roll communal group from the early seventies, but that is simply not the whole truth.  The truth is The Source Family became a cult around the personality of Jim Baker where we all obediently followed and obeyed his orders and directives.  When Jim Baker ordered anyone in The Source Family to perform qudosh with whomever he chose; you did what was expected of you.

Sunday, December 18, 2022


One of the most telling tracks recorded of Jim Baker's cacophonous singing (mostly yelling and wailing) was a track titled A Kind of Depression.  Because Jim Baker could only draw on his own feelings, emotions and past life experiences; the words he spoke, yelled and wailed throughout this track were very telling.  Here are Jim Baker's painful and remorseful words on that track:

This love of mine goes on and on.
Life's been so empty since you have gone.  
You're always on my mind though out of sight.  
It's lonely through the day and all the night. 
I've cried my heart out it's goin to break. 
What does it matter let it break.  
I walk---I walk alone til I walk with you what else can I do. 
I'll talk---I'll talk to none without you what else can I do.  
Tears of pain and tears of remorse.  
Oh, baby come back put me on course. 
I've a very strange feeling I ain't felt before.  
It's tearing my heart out. I ain't me anymore. 
It's grinding it's an upside shot. 
Give me some compassion.  
Now my heart it's acting strangely it felt rather sore.  At least it gave me that impression.  
Without you I don't want no more. 
Yeah, I fell in love with some girl.  She put my heart in a whirl now badly by some girl. Got me in a knot don't know what's what.
So, I'm in a kind of depression.

I reached out to Chris Johnson aka Octavius for his input/feedback about this track and specifically about Jim Baker's tortured lyrics and singing.  Here is what he wrote back.

Definitely about a woman before Robin. Seems to be an opposite message from the norm.  I will share what I noticed even then while mastering the selections I dissected from the chaos that now are hailed as the genius of Jim Baker the musician artist.  He had no natural talent other than being willing to throw himself off the cliff into the unknown and BS his way in real time.  He was good at that.  Example:  becoming a judo instructor from a book.  Health club gym owner when there were none. Sandalmaker when there were none.  Health food restaurant when there were none.  White male western guru figuring out what he believed on the fly.  Frontman for a spontaneous band.  Could not play an instrument so he got the biggest drum to beat.  Could not keep time.  Singer of whatever came to mind.  Was NOT a singer.  But, he could whistle better than most....I guess?  So, to your question: (I asked Chris about the tortured, wailing yelling words on the track) He could only draw from the experiences he had.  Like we all do.  His melodies, whistling, and constructs were all bits and pieces of music from the 40's.  I would think to myself, "Where have I heard that before?" Lil kitties, gonna take you home, the whistling, and some of his lyrics were all drawn from things in his past.  Shipmates stand together???  So, my best guess is he was singing about his girlfriend (forgot her name) who helped him build The Source.  Just his expression and body language testifies to his happiness.  Before Robin.  I don't know if he was a happy soul.  He once said something to the effect of, "What a mess I've created."  Yup, he did.  I think he was probably happier before the 'family'.  He actually was a young soul trying to figure out what had more value: The Material or Spiritual.  So, he was a prisoner to his own habit pattern.  Becoming bored with where he found himself and abandoning it in the end.  Restaurants, marriages, children, lifestyles, friends, beliefs, and life in general.  This is why he did what he did.  Pushing and testing limits and norms.  This is the same burden our generation suffers.  Single parent homes.  No examples.  Guess this is why he needed to be the 'Father' he never had.  This is why we all do the things we do.  My opinion for what it's worth.  With every myth comes the point where 'the rubber meets the road'.  Outside of all the machismo, he could have been a friend.  But, it still remains the biggest lesson in post graduate Sociology one could not imagine.  The masculine Father image for better and for worse.  And I am grateful to the universe for it. His ego had never felt so much pump.  He fell for the temporary, lost sight of the eternal.  It happens.


Thanks to the input from former members like Chris and the others whose voices I've included on this blog, it helps give the viewing public a more honest and authentic view of Jim Baker, as opposed to the embellished and exaggerated (and often erroneous) narrative that's continually being put forth.  There are a few former members who are not afraid to share their memories and experiences of Jim Baker that portray the man as being flawed and human.

Monday, June 13, 2022

Lovely To Look At But Not Heard

Jim Baker continually spoke about Jesus and even sang "you are Jesus, are you ready for that" on a Ya Ho Wha 13 track.  His daily morning meditations or class would often contain references to biblical parables, and his favorite film was The Ten Commandments.  There was a distinct Christian theme or reference to almost every aspect of Jim Baker's so-called 'teachings', and yet when Lovely Previn was interviewed for the 2012 film about The Source Family; her interview was cut and not used, because she talked about her strong Christian faith.  

Per Lovely, she spoke about how much she enjoyed joining The Source Family and finding a family, and a father-figure in Jim Baker---two things that had been lacking in her own life.  Lovely also talked about how the things that Jim Baker was teaching weren't getting her to the place that she knew she was going; which was the life of a devout Christian.  I saw firsthand how Lovely was shunned and ridiculed by some former Source Family members, because of her strong Christian views which they felt did not align with whatever they believed Jim Baker's 'aquarian teachings" to be.  What hypocrites!

I only just recently learned from Lovely that she had been interviewed for the film, and how when she found out that her interview wasn't included in the film; she instinctively knew why.  Jim Trattner aka Magus had been interviewed extensively and his interview segments were used in the film, and yet he left The Source Family early at the Mother House.  Whereas, Lovely had been in The Source Family much longer and had felt very close to Jim Baker because he supported her music and inspired her to improvise musically.  Lovely was a very accomplished violinist and vocalist who played and sang on many of the albums released.  Also, she was present on the day that Jim Baker died recording everything he said after he crash-landed on the beach.  I would have thought that Lovely would have been the perfect former member to interview!  But, it was only because Lovely expressed her strong Christian views and values that her interview segment was not used in the film, because whomever was controlling the direction of the film didn't like what Lovely had to say.

Here is what Lovely had to say in her own words:

I got a message from Isis asking if I’d like to do an interview for the upcoming Source family documentary. I arranged a time for Jodi and her two-man crew to come over to my house. They rearranged my dining room area as the best place to film and made it look nice, then Jodi began the interview. I don’t remember the questioning exactly but asking me about my time in the Source family and what I thought of it now is probably a general guideline. 
I can say at that time in my life as a young teenager probably age 15 I felt a very strong need for a family.  I experienced my classmates’ homes and spent many happy overnight stays with their families.  I came from a divorced family; my parents were already divorced when my mother was three months pregnant with me, so there was the lack of father and lack of warm togetherness living with my mother and my older sister. 
The Source offered me a big family, father-type figure and spiritual teachings I longed for as I searched for God. I was taken away after the first year to go and finish high school in the countryside of England. I had no choice because I was not 18 yet. Once I had graduated I came home to Los Angeles to get a job a car and be normal but soon felt the pull of family and went back. Many were in Hawaii and the restaurant was being sold so I helped the manager train the new owners and workers and was eventually able to join everyone over in the islands. 
Fast forward to Jim Baker taking the hang-gliding adventure that eventually caused him to pass away. I felt very close to him because he was an older man well educated, a great businessman, knowledgeable about so many things and I too had my good British education. He also encouraged me with my music which my parents never did; he told me to go out on the deck in Lanikai and just play my violin however my heart led me to play which is how I began improvising. That was very crucial for me to have that support. The day of the hang gliding I was the one carrying the tape recorder recording everything he said from when he took off on the cliff down on the beach, as we drove him home and during those eight hours until he passed away I was right next to him recording every word. Then when we laid him out in his bed there was a 24-hour vigil so I played my violin next to his bed in the wee hours of the morning.

This is probably the story I told the day I was interviewed for the documentary which brings me to my faith and belief system I spoke about in the next portion of the interview.
After believing in the teachings I learned from the family for 25 years I felt spiritually bankrupt. I wasn’t sure with the methods I’d been given whether I would reach liberation or whatever was the goal where my soul and spirit would end up. I spoke about being in a band that was a Christian band and travelling around every weekend sometimes to 2 or three different churches, praying with everyone before we went out and presented special music to the congregation. I was able to ask lots of questions about some of these lesser gods and teachings I’d been believing. Finally I said to the band leader look, I know that I am a Christian, but what have you done to become a Christian you’ve done something what is it?  The leader wouldn’t really answer me and then one day we performed the special music at a Calvary Chapel church.  After over a year none of the churches had ever given an “altar call” asking if anyone wanted to receive Christ, but this Pastor did and I had the realization that to become a Christian I needed to raise my hand publicly and declare my love and desire to follow Christ for what he did for me. Everyone in the church was crying and rejoicing and I ended up playing in that worship team for five years. I read the Bible 9 times and grew in grace and understanding of what I had now become. I even took most of the books that I had followed all those years before and threw them away because I did not need them anymore.

Jim Baker had us all use Bibles and marked certain red letter words that Jesus spoke. I learned that my interview was not going to be used in the Source documentary. My guess is it happened because I didn’t support the old teachings and source ways. 
When I eventually saw the documentary I was so overjoyed to hear something Jim said that I never knew he said, which was that he had given all that he could to all of us, there was nothing left he could give and now he was placing his whole life into the hands of God and that he was surrendering everything. That gave me a lot of hope that I will see him again someday. I believe in his heart he was trying to help a lot of very lost people and he eventually went into wrong directions and led some people astray but I believe that he meant well and that statement is a form of repentance remorse and feeling sorry for what he did. 

The censure and exclusion of former Source Family members is the kind of thing that I cannot stand about the continuing promotion of Father Yod and The Source Family by one person who has tried to control the entire narrative, and how if something or someone doesn't conform to some fabricated 'Source Family values' then they are dismissed and excluded in the same way that Lovely was dismissed and excluded in having her story told and her voice heard in the 2012 film.

Jim Baker is heard saying the following in the 2012 film, "I am completely dependent upon the God of all to take care of me" and one of the very last things he said after he crash-landed on the beach was, "I thought that I was going to fly the kite.  I guess it was God's last lesson he had to teach me."  Jim Baker was a deep believer in God, and yet there are former Source Family members who mock Lovely for having the same deep belief in God.  

Saturday, November 27, 2021

Life Comes First

One of the most detrimental beliefs of Jim Baker's so-called ''teachings' was the one where he spoke against anyone in his Source Family seeking or using medical help, especially against anyone undergoing a blood transfusion.  Jim Baker adopted a belief that blood platelets contained a person's memories or what he called 'the river of life' that would supposedly playback at the moment of death, in order for that person to learn from their mistakes made in life, before being reincarnated into another body.  That was the belief that Jim Baker adopted taken from something he had read, and became a fundamental part of Baker's 'aquarian teachings'---that his followers abstain from seeking or using medical help and modern medicine, but most importantly at all cost to not allow a person's blood to be removed from their body upon death, but allow the body to remain undisturbed for three days to allow that person to view their 'river of life' and learn their life lessons, before being reincarnated.  It was that belief system adopted by Jim Baker which prevented infants from receiving medical treatment, and why Baker was persuaded from having medical treatment himself, after crash landing on a beach and being reminded of his own 'teaching'.

I recently learned about the rabbinic principle pikuach nefesh in an article that challenged the belief of Jehovah's Witnesses against blood transfusions.  It is essentially the argument that Jesus was to have used with the pharaohs that the preservation of life clearly has to come first, before all other considerations.  A principle that seemed to have been lost on Jim Baker.  Here is a definition of that principle: https://www.gotquestions.org/pikuach-nefesh.html.  It basically says that 'life comes first' and everything should be done to preserve life, beyond any religious belief of any kind.  Who knows, perhaps Jim Baker never knew or read about the principle of pikuach nefesh, because it was certainly not applied after Jim Baker crash-landed on the beach and asked the women around him, if he should go to the hospital.  That principle was also not in play when infants born in The Source Family at The Father House did not receive any medical help and subsequently died, because seeking or using medical help would have been going against one of the fundamental 'teachings' or beliefs put into place by our 'spiritual' leader, teacher and ersatz father figure, Jim Baker.  So, two infants and Jim Baker himself died being held to the flawed 'teachings' put into place within The Source Family, by the man.  Historically, you don't have to look back very far to see how many people have died following and obeying the harmful beliefs of zealous religious and cult leaders, which is what happened in The Source Family.

Jim Baker incorporated The Essene Teachings of Jesus Christ into his 'aquarian teachings', and consistently would preach/talk about and even sang, "You are Jesus, are you ready for that'; he even composed his own 'ten commandments for the aquarian age' to resemble Mose's Ten Commandments.  A large portion of Jim Baker's 'teachings' either resembled or were founded on the teachings of Jesus Christ, and he ardently embraced the Jewish term for god---Yod Hey Vav Hey, and yet nowhere in any of it did Jim Baker ever utter the principle of pikuach nefesh; otherwise a couple of infants might have lived and grown up to have happy, fulfilling lives, and even Jim Baker would most likely have survived his injuries and lived to see his own children grow up.  Life should come first, before any so-called spiritual or religious beliefs.

After reading about the Jehovah's Witness parents who allowed their 11-year-old son to die, rather than allowing him to receive a blood transfusion; it reminded me of the same, misguided and deleterious beliefs that Jim Baker had adopted about not having a blood transfusion, based on a belief that a person's blood platelets contained their entire life story to be viewed at the moment of death.  Jim Baker would simply attach the word 'aquarian' and incorporated stuff he'd read to be part of his so-called 'teachings', and who, upon crashing-landing on the beach and sustaining life-threatening injuries was surrounded by his fervent, loyal followers who reminded him of his own 'teaching' not to seek medical help, and who made sure his body was allowed to remain undisturbed for three days, in order for Jim Baker to view his own 'river of life'.  Then, blinded by her own religious, zealous beliefs; one of the more aggressive, controlling women surrounding Jim Baker would not allow Jim Baker's adult son to speak to his father for one last time, while Jim Baker lay dying and his adult son called the Glass House in Lanikai wanting to speak to his Dad for one last time, but was told, "No, you're Father doesn't want to speak to you,"----something which I find to have been a cruel thing for someone to do!  How could anyone deny a son the chance to speak to his own dying father for one last time, because of the fear that real family member might emotionally influence their parent and convince them to seek medical help----it's the kind of extremism that being in a spiritual or religious cult like The Source Family created and fomented.  When the 2012 film about The Source Family came out; there was an effort to attach the catchphrase "Just Be Kind' to Jim Baker.  What a mockery the catchphrase "Just Be Kind" is when babies were denied medical treatment of any kind and allowed to suffer and die.

It is often a tragic outcome for people who adhere to extreme religious or spiritual beliefs which deny life-saving procedures and treatments; especially when parents impose their extreme religious beliefs on infants and children who lack the experience and understanding to make that kind of choice---the same way that Jim Baker imposed his beliefs and directives on helpless infants and little children; especially two infants at The Father House in Los Angeles who should have received medical treatment and been given a chance to grow up.  Misguided, religious zealots who impose their harmful and detrimental beliefs on helpless and innocent children is the most tragic outcome of many cults, and is what happened in The Source Family.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

Cinderella Sings

In this post, I want to give credit to a woman who was all but overlooked for having sung on many of the songs recorded, during the flurry of recording at The Father House in Los Angeles, and who could belt out a song with so much force and power with the most distinctive voice of all the other female singers.  Yet, she wasn't given any credit.  It's Cinderella's distinctive singing voice heard on How Long In Time and she sings the lead vocals on songs like Do Me and Sea Like Me.  Because the music that was made was marketed and sold as being The Source Family music; it made it that much easier for people to enter into licensing and distribution deals with record labels without having any kind of signed agreements in place with the individuals who actually wrote or performed on the songs.  That was the case with the box set that included every single album that was made and produced at The Father House when two former members of The Source Family negotiated a record deal with a Japanese record label without any agreements or even approval in place by any of the songwriters or musicians, and so those two individuals were paid thousands of dollars for that box set!  Ostensibly, the creation of The Source Foundation by two other former members was to supposedly protect the rights of the individual songwriters and musicians, but in reality ended up being just two people who also felt a sense of entitlement to take and use the music made at The Father House however they wanted and who entered into record deals.  So, because Stacie Altman, otherwise called Cinderella and later renamed Quintessence refused to sign any kind of agreement or release for any of the songs that featured her; she has never received any kind of recompense, and there were others.  The songs that I've included in this post were from an album released by Drag City titled Children of The Sixth Root Race specifically How Long In Time, Do Me and Sea Like Me on which you can hear Stacie's distinctive voice. Also unbelievably; the guy who put the album together neglected to include a photo of Stacie among the photos of those who performed on the album!  Below is the Source Foundation agreement that Stacie was advised by her lawyer not to sign.

Stacie, had she signed would have signed away all of her music rights for perpetuity ie forever to the two former members who had set up their own foundation, and so any of the musicians and singer/songwriters who didn't sign one of those foundation agreements were not compensated from any album sales which are still going on today.  As I've stated before in other posts; it was a friendly form of piracy by two people who simply took every recorded song from the early days of The Source Family recorded in the studio garage at The Father House and entered into marketing and distribution deals with record labels whether or not any of the singers/songwriters or musicians signed anything! 

But, enough about how the songwriters, singers and musicians who happened to be in The Source Family have been ripped off, because more than anything I wanted to finally give some recognition and credit to the woman called Cinderella, who sang her heart out with an intensity and vocal projection that few have and could easily sing with a rock band without even using a microphone.

Everyone who joined The Source Family had their own story to tell, but Stacie Altman had a particularly unique and interesting one.  Being the daughter of Hollywood actor and tv personality, Dick York thrust a very young girl into a wild and fast life like many kids of Hollywood actors.  Being young, beautiful and blond also made it that much easier for a young woman living in the Hollywood Hills to be thrust into a lifestyle that few other young people experienced in their early teens.  Stacie ended up joining The Brotherhood of The Source, after the handsome young man she had fallen in love with decided to join, and so in 1972 wanting to be with him; Stacie followed her future husband into The Brotherhood of The Source.  So, when female singers; primarily female backup singers were needed; Stacie's singing voice stood out more than any others, like on the song How Long In Time heard here.  


But, because of the male dominated environment created by Jim Baker within his group/cult; the guy who wrote the songs that Stacie sang on wanted full credit and so her performances were merely seen as being supportive of the the main performers----the men in the group.  Things weren't much different in the supposedly new age/aquarian tribe of Jim Baker's than from how things were in the real world of recording where female backup singers were often overlooked.  But, even equally disheartening was when two music indie people involved with the production of Hair came to The Father House to hear the band dubbed The Spirit of '76 and were very interested in working with the band, and they were especially interested in Stacie, after hearing her sing.  But, Jim Baker told the two men that unless they proclaimed him to be their Earthly Spiritual Father; that he would not agree to anything.  The two men's response was no, and so Stacie along with the other band members missed out on what might have been a lucrative recording contract.  The same thing happened later to the band Breath, when Jim Baker refused a recording contract with A&M Records, because they were not willing to make it a Source Family contract giving him complete control over the money.

Here was Stacie singing a song titled Sea Like Me. https://youtu.be/LOBZaXx_RFI

Here Stacie is belting out a song titled Do Me (although album credit was incorrectly given to Robin Baker).  https://youtu.be/tqHefc06lMM

Here is Stacie knocking it out of the ballpark with her powerful vocals on Lost Dead But Hoping.   https://youtu.be/voR0iroxKEQ

Stacie was the dominate female voice heard on the song Godmen, although the woman hitting the high notes at the end were made by Michelle Scovern aka Aquariana.  https://youtu.be/bUu9sFYOD44

Below is a photo of Stacie nursing her infant son, while singing alongside Les Adam aka Rhythm at the piano.  Reminds me of how Cyd Charisse was credited with not only able to dance as well as Fred Astaire, but backwards and in high heels.  Cinderella was able to nurse her infant son and take care of him, all while still singing in the band.

Photo below of Stacie named Cinderella by Jim Baker, a name which I find to be very fitting for the woman!  I wanted to add this Wikipedia definition of the name Cinderella: The word Cinderella has, by analogy, come to mean one whose attributes were unrecognized: one who unexpectedly achieves recognition or success after a period of obscurity and neglect.  

In 1991 Demi Moore posed nude and pregnant on the cover of Vanity Fair; and here was Stacie posing nude and pregnant back in 1973 outside the teepee located at The Father House; a brave trendsetter in her own right. 

Photo below of Stacie in Paia, Hawaii 1974 holding her infant son with his father, Alex seen behind.

Photo below taken on Maui 1975

Early family photos of Stacie seen looking sleepy to the left of her Mom in the one below.

Stacie ended up marrying the film director Robert Altman's oldest son, Michael perhaps because they both had famous parents and had experienced growing up in the Hollywood Hills, and so having that shared experience; they fell in love and were married for over twenty years having two extremely talented children together.
Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge the musical contributions made by Stacie aka Cinderella aka Quintessence while she was in The Source Family and also give her some personal recognition.

In memory of Stacie's sister Mandy aka White Cloud

Friday, July 9, 2021

An Uncomfortable Truth


The photo above was one that was to be part of what was to comprise Jim Baker's 'Aquarian Tarot' card deck for The Lovers card.  It was taken at The Father House in Los Angeles, during the flurry of Yahowha 13 recording sessions. 

The photo above of a naked Makushla lying prone, while Jim Baker holds a chalice to her mouth was to signify them having performed the sexual ritual called qudosh that Baker initiated into the daily practice of The Source Family and became THE most predominate of his supposed 'new age' teachings.  Qudosh was something that Baker adopted, after reading books by Aleister Crowley and The Golden Dawn.  The practice of qudosh has been the most secretive aspect of The Source Family that the majority of former members have tried to keep hidden from public view and is also the main reason that many former members have disassociated themselves from having been in The Source Family.  It's my belief, that Jim Baker became consumed by sex and his acquisition of multiple 'spiritual wives', primarily to outdo Yogi Bhajan to show how 'aquarian' Baker was for openly having sex with multiple women, as opposed to the clandestine sexual relationships that Bhajan had with women in his group.

Makushla/Susan, if you happen to see or read this post; I apologize for causing you any more embarrassment, but these two photos are already found online, and so I feel that some kind of explanation should be given so the viewing public can understand how Jim Baker abused his position of power as the spiritual leader and father figure of The Source Family, by expecting everyone especially the women to perform a sexual ritual that honestly few wanted to perform!  But, so-called spiritual leaders, gurus and new age teachers constantly and consistently abused their positions of power and often subjected their loyal and devoted followers to awful practices, including having sex with the spiritual leader, guru or new age teacher.  Jim Baker subjected all of the women (and men) to engage in a sexual ritual which nobody signed up for initially, but we had already become good, little obedient followers of Jim Baker and so most everyone acquiesced and did what he told us to do.  That is the uncomfortable truth of it all.

In a desperate desire by those still promoting Father Yod and The Source Family, a couple of people wanted to publish a Source Family 'Aquarian' Tarot Card deck to hopefully make additional money for themselves, along with all of the other Source Family merch they have for sale.  This was all to take place in 2012, until a mortified Makushla (Susan) set off an email campaign where former members were asked to show their support for her to block the publication of the naked photos of her posing with Jim Baker.  After all, Susan aka Makushla had moved on with her life and was in a new relationship and saw the publication of those naked photos of herself from forty years ago an embarrassing, awful prospect.  I was one of those former members who wrote an email expressing support for Makushla to prevail upon those who were intent on publishing photos of her---basically just pleading with them not to print/publish those embarrassing naked photos of Makushla to be sold in a deck of tarot cards.  The two people most hell-bent on keeping the mythos of Jim Baker alive finally agreed not to publish the naked photos of Susan and Jim Baker, at least until she had passed away; in another display of a humongous sense of entitlement by two former members who have essentially taken and used whatever they have wanted from the Source Family days.  Susan was given a deference that no other former Source Family member has been given, because she was seen as being Father Yod's 'Mother Angel' to be treated in an honorific and reverential way, in contrast to Robin Baker:  Jim Baker's only legal wife who chose to remain with Baker in The Source Family and witnessed and experienced her husband shift his focus and attention to Susan, along with Baker's ongoing and continual sexual acts with the majority of other women within the group in what to me seemed to be his obsessive desire or need to engage in sex with as many of the women in The Source Family, as he possibly could.  

Around the same time that Baker summoned me to have sex with him at The Father House, I also recall a beautiful, young blond woman joining and Jim Baker couldn't help himself and of course initiated having sex with the young woman; when word quickly spread that during the sexual conquest of the young woman; Baker 'lost his seed' ie ejaculated; even though his designated practice called 'dhyanism' was specifically about a man not ejaculating.  Clearly, Jim Baker's lust for the young woman got the better of him that day.  No relationship was respected or sacrosanct to Jim Baker, if his desire was to have sex with another man's wife or partner and it was all presented as being very 'aquarian' and how women were supposedly just naturally attracted to him, because he was 'the most powerful' of men (Jim Baker was much older than most of us who joined and he had a big stomach and flaccid arms and was certainly not as virile and physically fit as most of the younger men in the group and I never found him physically attractive), and how he was supposedly elevating the act of sex beyond the carnal, lustful act of sex outside the confines of The Source Family.  Yet, another uncomfortable truth is that Jim Baker was 'a dirty old man on a lust trip', as described by Robin Baker in the 2012 film about The Source Family. 

The above photos also reflect the male dominated environment of The Source Family where Makushla is seen posed vulnerable and naked upside down in a compromised, sexual position with Jim Baker seen as being the masculine dominant male above her.  Jim Baker was born in 1922 at a time when women had barely won the right to vote in a very male dominated society, and so he grew up seeing women as being subservient and compliant to men more than anything else; the weaker sex who could not withstand the vicissitudes of life which was the reason/excuse he used for keeping the women in The Source Family sequestered away and protected from having to deal with the big, bad outside world.  I recall Jim Baker saying that women were not emotionally equipped to deal with 'the outside world' and therefore should be protected within the confines of the group.  Which was why a woman's role in The Source Family was all about bearing and raising children, cleaning, making meals, doing laundry and attending to the 'earth trip' of their designated "God man" which was how Jim Baker described his 'sons' or the men surrounding him.  So, a woman's role within The Source Family was created by Jim Baker according to how he saw a woman's role in life, which was subservient, obedient and compliant to a man.  I distinctly recall Jim Baker saying that women didn't even need to meditate or attain 'spiritual enlightenment', because their path was different and that it was a man's role to 'contemplate spirit' and attain a higher consciousness or God-consciousness.  That was the belief system which Jim Baker put into place within the supposedly new age 'aquarian tribe' of people whom he surrounded himself.