Absurd Pandering Behaviors

As Father Yod gathered more and more of the women who populated The Source Family in becoming what he called 'his women', the degree of absurd pandering and pampered attention paid to him grew to ludicrous proportions to where he was never left alone, but always had an entourage of women following him around attending to his every need; like when an entourage of 'his women' would even accompany him into the bathroom to 'shake his peepee' for him; lest him have to descend from his 'spiritual height' to perform such a task.  A competition grew among the women who were incessantly vying for Father Yod's attention; some spending their days sitting in indolent rapt attention in his presence eagerly waiting in anticipation to fulfilling his every need or desire.  This is the degree of sycophantic pandering which ensued around Father Yod and the women who competed for his attention.  

In every task performed for Father Yod from making his meals to preparing a cup of coffee for him; he was pampered and treated like royalty and served in a reverential way; where the attendance to the needs of Father Yod took precedence over everything else within the group.  This is the extent of ludicrous behavior which ensued within The Source Family:  the worshipful obeisance in attending to all of the needs and desires of Father Yod; where the rest of 'the family' became more like bystanders or worker drones in the ever-increasing worship and adulation of Father Yod and his queen bee, where his orders and instructions were to be acted upon immediately post haste with unquestioning loyalty and devotion using the most common colloquial phrase in 'the source family' that began with the words, "Father said....", and if not acted upon was seen as being negative or anti-family.  Yet, it is amazing to me how some of Father Yod's most stalwart and staunch lieutenants from that time, now want absolutely no association with having been in The Source Family!  

It became a very unhealthy social environment within The Source Family, because if you didn't exhibit a worshipful adoration that was expected towards the 'god' whom Jim Baker had supposedly evolved into, especially when he adopted the name 'Yahowha' than you were seen as lesser within the social strata of 'the family.'  Because everything revolved around the worshipful adoration and idolization of 'Yahowha' which is something that is still going on today.  But, hanging on 'Yahowha's' every word as though God had just spoken, along with chanting the name Yahowha, and his women incessantly squealing, "Oh, Yahowha!" became representative of the entire dynamic of The Source Family where everything and everyone revolved around the man who changed his name to Yahowha, who was seen as God incarnate and providing him with the absolute best of whatever amenities were available.  

I recall very well how some of the men and women who looked upon Jim Baker with worshipful adoration and obeisance took their role very seriously.  Some came to believe they were superior in many ways to not only the other people who comprised 'the family', but anyone outside the Source Family as being lesser or not as spiritually evolved; that is the kind of arrogant, spiritual ego that was cultivated within 'the family'.  A couple of those people who became convinced of their superiority or their roles as 'saviors of mankind' and of their own supreme powers from having sat before Yahowha even tried to gather their own followers after The Source Family ended with disastrous results.  Especially when a few of the 'sons' went out trying to replicate life within 'the family' by acquiring/having multiple women just as their idol Yahowha had done.  Even today, a few of the more devote believe themselves to being more enlightened and more highly evolved than people who did not populate The Source Family, and how they alone are carrying on what they continue to see as 'the great work' of Yahowha --- a delusional mindset for anyone to continue to possess, in my opinion.  

But, that is one of the tragic results of having spent time in a cult such as The Source Family; whereas some people had an extremely difficult time adjusting back into society, and some continue to behave as though they are still in The Source Family cult continuing to believe that they are the 'saints' and 'sages' and 'saviors' of the world, and so they have enshrined every word spoken and every action performed by their spiritual leader, Jim Baker. 

But, I witnessed firsthand many of the people who populated The Source Family spiral out of control when it all ended unsure what to do next; incapable of adjusting to life outside the cult or making a living where many resorted to drug dealing; some incapable of forming new relationships with people who did not share the same cult mentality or use the same 'source' jargon; as well as witnessing several former family members descend into twenty plus years of either drug or alcohol use, until some rather like born-again Christians have once again embraced deifying Yahowha and promoting all of the practices and beliefs that resulted from that construct, in what I see as renewed absurd behaviors.

The Ripoffs and Piracy

Probably the hardest thing to swallow about the regurgitation of The Source Family and the 'branding' that's taken place, is what I've seen as a desperate attempt by a couple of former members to propel themselves into the public spotlight, along with the appropriation of all of the music that came out of The Source Family while completely ignoring, sidelining, and omitting or reimbursing the songwriters and musicians who wrote and performed on every single original piece of music.  In what I see as a pleasant form of piracy, a couple of people who were in The Source Family took it upon themselves to represent the entire body of former Source Family members and entered into licensing agreements to market and sell songs and music, in order to promote themselves and maintain their false sense of control.  But, in the minds of two people, it seemed all above board and legal for them to freely license songs and music that had been created by the individual songwriters and musicians who were part of The Source Family, regardless of whether anyone approved or not, or even signed anything!

The majority of songwriters and musicians who performed on what has been labeled 'Source Family music' never saw a dime from any of the music sales!  But, the two people who were pushing and promoting the entire Source Family mythos on to an unsuspecting public felt extremely justified in everything that they did.  Operating on the assumption that nobody was going to challenge anything that either of those two did, they entered into contracts with outside entities to market, license and sell all of the albums and music that were produced, during the brief window of time at The Father House in Los Angeles, while only involving a couple of musicians and completely ignoring the feelings or wishes of other individuals who contributed to the volume of music that had been produced.

Les Adam, who was called Rhythm, was one of those individuals who was completely ignored who had his rights trampled on and was never compensated properly for the use and sale of his own original songs and performances!  Les Adam was by far the most accomplished musician of the entire group capable of playing both acoustic and electric guitar, piano and electric keyboards, as well as being one of the strongest and best songwriters and singers in The Source Family, during its existence.  Yet, Rhythm wasn't even credited in the 2012 film for three of his songs that were used (Take A Ride, Party Song and Woman), but rather due to the usurping of the individual musician's rights in order to push through completion of the film; the credit for Take A Ride was given to the wrong person, and no credit whatsoever was given for the other two songs written and performed by Les Adam.  Instead, the film credits read that all songs used in the 2012 film were 'by permission of the source foundation'!  What a joke, when no permission was obtained on the part of the actual songwriters!

Tim Garon was also completely left out/ignored in being given any film credit for his songs Every Morning and Woman Beyond The Sun.  Unbelievably, neither Tim or Les were even given a 'Gratitude' credit!  No effort was made to make sure that the music credits were done correctly in the film; primarily because the two former Source Family people who were working with the filmmakers did not want to involve any other former members, in order for those two individuals to maintain their tight control over the entire project.  Les and I spoke on the phone quite a bit about how angry he was about the way that he was just expected to comply with whatever those two individuals did who had entered into licensing agreements to market and sell the albums that had been made, during the brief window of time The Source Family existed----albums that contained Les Adam's songs and performances and receiving no compensation whatsoever.  Les told me over the phone a week or so before he died that he had called and asked one of the people if they could help him out with money, since he was undergoing treatment for throat cancer, but was told there was 'no money' for him; yet the person he had asked for money had used profits from the film to fly around the country doing interviews and photo ops about herself.

The defense made by the two individuals who have marketed and sold music calling it 'Source Family music' (this has been going on since the mid-nineties) continue to say there has been no profit made from the sales of any music, and if so that it has been only a miniscule amount----that statement alone was supposed to appease and placate all of the musicians and songwriters who were completely taken advantage of and basically ripped off!  The fact that very little profit has been made, from music sales is beside the point, but it was the only excuse given by the two individuals who ignored addressing the real issue----which was that songs and music have been taken and used without any prior approval or compensation going to the individuals who created the music!  The main issue has been completely ignored, until recently where it appears The Source Foundation is being dissolved (Thank God) and any licensing agreements (a few that had been obtained) had been passed on to Starry Records in Los Angeles supposedly since June, and so it will be interesting to see how that plays out especially since The Source Foundation never secured licensing agreements with all of the songwriters!

But, that's what being in a cult does----it breeds and creates a sense of entitlement among former cult members to take, use and profit from anything that was produced when the cult existed; especially in the delusional belief that any music produced, during the cult belonged to the collective.  It's my understanding from the copyright office that any song recorded after Feb. 15, 1972 was automatically covered by Federal Copyright law and that anyone wanting to sell or distribute albums containing sound recordings needed permission/a signed licensing agreement with the songwriter!  Wow, that didn't happen!  So, two former Source Family cult members put their 'foundation' stamp of ownership on all of the songs and performances made by the individual singers, songwriters and musicians who populated The Source Family.

Although, I do not really fault the filmmakers, because I believe that they were given false, misleading and incorrect information to begin with by the two individuals hellbent on their own self-promotion who convinced the filmmakers they owned all of the rights to all of the music recorded during The Source Family cult daze.  Les Adam died a few months ago never seeing a single dime from the use and sales of any of his songs or performances from his time spent in The Source Family, because two individuals felt that they had more right to his music than he did.  For me, this was and is unforgivable and amidst the self-proclaimed 'high priestess' and 'keeper of the archives' of one individual and all of the other lofty titles adopted by the two people behind the licensing and sales of what has been called 'Father Yod' or 'Source Family' music has been nothing more than greedy self-promotion, along with an in-your-face blatant ripoff of all the songs and music created by individuals who should have been rightfully acknowledged and compensated.  Weak platitudes after-the-fact are the only thing offered, by the person who is the worst offender.  I ask the public this:  how would you feel if your deceased husband's or wife's or own parent's songs and music were taken and used in both a film and on a soundtrack without your prior knowledge or approval?  And how in God's name did The Source Foundation have the right to pass on or sell the 'rights' to all of the albums produced during the heyday of The Source Family to another record label, when they/'the foundation' held no rights to the music, to begin with!  This makes no sense to me whatsoever----how other entities can sell/profit from the songs and music of other people where no licensing agreements or contracts were ever obtained!  Do you think that it is ethically, morally or legally right that someone else sell your family member's songs and music with absolutely no compensation going to the artist or the artist's family?  In my mind, the rightful heirs ie the sons and daughters/wives/husbands (including Jim Baker's own biological children) of any singer/songwriter/musician who performed on any of the albums that were produced and recorded during the time the entire Source Family lived together (circa 1973) should be compensated for the continued sales or use of any of the music.  But, hey that's just me.

Nitrous Oxide and Other Distractions

I thought that I'd recount the time that Father Yod/Yahowha had tanks of nitrous oxide brought to the Father House for morning meditation, and over the following couple of days in what was clearly another sensation-seeking attempt by our 'earthly spiritual father' to entertain himself and 'the troops'. Because over time out of sheer boredom, Jim Baker would use distractions such as using nitrous oxide, in order to try and achieve an even greater level of 'spiritual insight'.  But, life in The Source Family did become very monotonous where people's movements and actions became very restricted which is why Father Yod began pounding on the kettle drum and singing in his cacophonous way, and why he would use cocaine with only a select few 'family' members, and why he decided to travel to India with his select 'women'----something that I saw as an attention-seeking trip.  Jim Baker thought that if he travelled to India he would be seen or recognized as being a great, spiritual teacher or holy man, especially since he had an entire group of 'followers' waiting anxiously for his return, while he went globetrotting.  I believe that Jim Baker's ego grew to tremendous proportions being surrounded by his very own group of followers and that he really came to believe that he would be immediately recognized in the 'East' as being a great, spiritual teacher from the 'West.'

So, Father Yod would constantly search for new ways to keep his boredom at bay like having the entire 'family' use nitrous oxide, or having everyone wander aimlessly around the Bay Area looking for a place to land and attaching some religious or spiritual meaning/significance to that as being the same as when Moses wandered around the desert for 40 years---anything to keep moving to stave off the boredom and repetitious monotony that daily life became within the closed and cloistered  Source Family.  At one time the entire 'family' ended up in San Francisco and moved into The Atherton Mansion, otherwise known as the 'cat lady' mansion because there was one huge room where a woman had taken in and housed hundreds of homeless cats!  How fitting that a house that housed homeless cats would then house a group of homeless cult followers.  All that Father Yod seemed to do all day at The Atherton manse was perform 'sex magic' in his upstairs room with his female entourage.  I recall throughout the day being subjected to the orgasmic shrieks and shrills emanating throughout the house from his various women where it seemed like some were trying to outdo one another in a competition to see who could have the loudest most vocal orgasm.  I could not stand that time at The Atherton Mansion in San Francisco just hanging out in limbo in that huge, vacant house (there was not a stick of furniture) waiting around, while Father Yod had sex in his upstairs room waiting for his next command to move the entire group to its next destination, where he would also spend much of his time continually messing with people's lives and relationships moving family members around and instructing them to be with someone else----leave their partner or spouse to go 'serve' another, as though we were all pawns on his personal chessboard.

Everyone in The Source Family were expected to do whatever Father Yod told them to do---whether it was to change partners or perform some specific task which was something that he did constantly throughout the brief few years that The Source Family cult existed, but that kind of leader-control of people's personal lives and relationships is indicative of life in a cult.  So, anyone who tries to convince you that Jim Baker is worthy of hero-worship or was some kind of living saint is still living in that cult mentality unable to differentiate even 40+ years out the difference between right and wrong behavior, which is why a few still cling to the belief that everything that Jim Baker did was for a higher, cosmic purpose.  Those who showered Jim Baker with elevated and worshipful praise and devotion were also given perks, allowances and niceties not afforded to all 'family' members, because Father Yod definitely had his 'favorites.'  A distinct class system grew around Father Yod and the women he designated as being 'his women' and a few of his most devoted and loyal 'sons', but where other 'family' members like me only seemed to occupy space in The Source Family.  I just could never worship 'Yahowha' in the way that came to be expected of all 'family' members, especially by the time that the group reached Hawaii where everything really began to unravel.

Jim Baker pursued hedonistic pleasures in order to stave off any lethargy or inertia, whenever he felt that he wasn't moving fast enough along a 'spiritual' path.  But, as history has shown---a male ego inflated to enormous proportions surrounded by adoring, fawning people (especially women) proclaiming him to be 'God' possessing infinite wisdom often become debauched and dissipated in their pursuit of pleasure, and so Jim Baker was living out his own fantasies within The Source Family by acquiring multiple 'women' around him whom he designated as being his 'wives', to playing at being 'rock star' as lead singer/frontman for Yahowa 13 while the rest of the 'family' members like myself stood on the sidelines watching the circus unfold around fulfilling the whims of our 'spiritual' leader.

The entire dynamic of The Source Family revolved around satisfying the whims and desires of Jim Baker and if someone did not see him for the 'great spiritual' God-man that his most devoted followers proclaimed him to be or did not follow all of the imperatives and orders handed down from his 'council' of women then you were marginalized, as those seeking power and perceived position within the family wielded more and more control.  I recall one women who loved to 'carry out' Yahowha's orders by marching around policing everyone looking for infractions, who acquired the name 'hatchet lady'.  That is how stultifying it became in The Source Family.  Either strict adherence to 'the rules' or being kicked out of 'the family' by 'the council' of Yahowha's most controlling women.  What an absolute nightmare the entire thing became, and thank god that it all finally ended when it did, which is why I am against any revival or renewal of The Source Family.  It all became an extremely unhealthy, debauched exercise in cultish rule by a handful of power-hungry women obedient to an older sex-addicted guy with a messiah complex.

A Legacy Not Worth Saving

It is easy to forget about the many 'casualties' of The Source Family, amidst the media flurry and exaggerated claims being made about Father Yod and 'life in the family', but there were more 'casualties' from being in the family, than not.  Firstly, there is the emotional damage that Jim Baker left behind by impregnating three different women, during his reign over The Source Family.  One of those women was his own wife, Robin Baker (known as Ahom) who gave up her own pursuit and dream of becoming an actress in Hollywood when she met and married Jim Baker; whom she believed to be 'the love of her life.'  Robin Baker was as instrumental in the formation of The Source Family, as Jim Baker; in fact per Tim Garon who spent an entire year with Jim and Robin, prior to the formation of The Brotherhood of The Source; it was Robin's idea to start their own 'spiritual' family, after Jim Baker decided to leave Yogi Bhajan.  Tim also stated that Jim Baker's reason for leaving the yogi was because Jim had found out that Bhajan was having sex with various women in his ashram!  But, Robin was young and beautiful when she met Jim Baker in the late sixties where she adopted/took on the role of  a 'spiritual mentor' or 'mother' to those who came to her morning 'classes' held at The Source Restaurant where some became inspired by her.  Because in the early days of The Source Family, Robin Baker embodied all of the qualities that you might expect to find in an Aquarian Age 'earthly spiritual mother':  beauty, warmth, compassion and kindness.  Robin embraced her new role as 'spiritual mother'; a complement to Jim Baker's role as 'earthly spiritual father.'  Most everyone who joined in the early days of 'the family' referred to Robin Baker with the endearing term of 'Mother.'  Robin was the inspiration for several of the young women who joined 'the family' as she and her husband were laying (no pun intended) the foundation for their 'new age' 'aquarian' family.  But, Robin had no idea what was in store for her, or what she would have to endure in helping her husband to form his own 'aquarian' family; she didn't know that very soon after young women who had been inspired by her began to join, would be approached by her husband soliciting some to bear his child to further his delusion of creating a super race of 'aquarian' children via his seed.  Jim Baker's plan to impregnate some of the young women who began to join 'his family' came as a shock and a surprise to Robin, but she was now married to the man.  So, Robin Baker did her best to adapt and adjust to her husband's objective, hoping and praying that he might soon see the error of his ways and stop his pursuit of other women in the newly formed group; although that did not happen until the final days of his life.  Robin had already invested so much of her life in helping her husband create The Source Family, along with nurturing and cultivating relationships with other 'family' members which combined with becoming pregnant with Jim Baker's child; she made the decision to remain in her demoted position within 'the family.'  Because Jim Baker replaced Robin with another dark-haired young woman whom he became enamored who had joined 'the family'; referring to her as his 'mother/angel' whom then all of his attention and focus was then centered, and where Susan (named Makushla) displaced Robin.  Susan aka Makushla was then waited on hand and foot and showered with praise and adoration, just as Father Yod and is still seen by some devote former family members as being 'the head' of the defunct Source Family, because of her highly touted position of being 'Yahowha's mother/angel'.  So, Robin Baker who was Jim Baker's only legal wife, during the entire course of The Source Family was removed from her role as 'spiritual mother' and replaced with Makushla.  This is the kind of 'legacy' that Jim Baker left behind; replacing the women or wives in his life with another who caught his eye, along with having children with different women before The Source Family and during its existence.  Jim Baker fathered three children with three different women, during the 'family' daze; but he also had children prior to the formation of The Source Family.  Yet, this is 'the legacy' that a couple of people are so intent on saving; a legacy of the use and misuse of women and children by a man who saw himself as a 'god' or 'messiah' of the 'new age.'  Many men from Jim Baker's generation found it very easy to move from one woman to another; to leave their wives and children for another woman usually a younger or prettier version of the one they were leaving, and to continue fathering children whom they left with very little thought as to their financial support or security; which is exactly what happened with not only Robin Baker and her infant daughter fathered by Jim Baker, but the two other women whom he also impregnated, during 'the family.'  Adding insult to injury, one of the more aggressive 'council women' who still saw herself as one of 'Yahowha's women' tried to wrest any remaining financial interest or money from the sale of The Source Restaurant to go to the support of herself and the other women whom Jim Baker had surrounded himself, rather than to the children Jim Baker had sired in The Source Family.  Wow, not any kind of 'legacy' worth saving, in my mind; but more a tragic tale of one man leaving behind a wake of fatherless children and abandoned women!