Jim Baker loved old movies, especially movies like The Ten Commandments starring Charlton Heston, probably because Jim Baker saw himself in the role of Moses. I recall when The Ten Commandments was showing at a local theatre in Hollywood and we all had to accompany Jim Baker to see the film. Another time in 1972 a few of us had to accompany Jim Baker to see the production of Jesus Christ Superstar at the Universal Amphitheatre. Sitting in the audience with his long hair and beard wearing his robe looking very biblical surrounded by his own group of look-alike followers; Jim Baker no doubt hoping to draw attention to himself that the audience would make a connection between the central character in the show and himself. Heavily influenced by biblical themes, Jim Baker even penned his own Ten Commandments in his new role as a 'spiritual' messiah.
Jim Baker also really loved the old Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald films and in the early days at The Mother House he would have a movie projector brought in so the entire 'family' could watch his beloved old films. Everything was always tailored around what Jim Baker wanted, because after all The Brotherhood of The Source was his own production. It's easy to see how much films and plays, especially ones with a biblical theme had an impact on Jim Baker, and how he began to see himself as a modern day Moses leading his own tribe of 'chosen people', because he was a product of Hollywood where showmanship and appearance were everything.
A man with questionable moral character; someone who decided that robbing banks was the best way to bankroll his next restaurant venture who looked the part of Moses as portrayed in Hollywood films---deciding to gather his own group of 'spiritual children' (as he called them) fit very well into Jim Baker's wheelhouse and the attention that it gained him, from the worshipful meiny who began to follow him. It was exactly the kind of 'savior' role that he wanted to play giving him the ego boost and attention that he desired. Always the showman, Jim Baker put on a good show presenting himself as a 'spiritual' father figure, and the heady lure of working in his restaurant on the Sunset Strip frequented by rock stars and movie stars alike had an exciting and intoxicating effect.
For me, it was extremely easy joining The Brotherhood of The Source where I found immediate acceptance by a seemingly loving 'father' and his beautiful counterpart called 'mother.' The very early days in 'the family' were like being in a safe, warm cocoon where everything was provided for you. But, as more people kept joining the entire thing grew into more spectacle than anything else, because Jim Baker was intent on having more and more people join his 'family'; something that would burn-out in a relatively short span of time. I was nineteen-years-old when I joined 'the brotherhood' in 1970 already a vegetarian having dabbled in transcendental meditation. I was on my own 'spiritual quest' having given away all my worldly possessions in an exercise in non-materialism; so for me it was an easy transition from being a young 'spiritual' seeker who was living a relatively homeless life to joining Jim Baker and The Brotherhood of The Source.
Although, I never really had a close affinity for Jim Baker, nor was I particularly impressed or overwhelmed by him, but I did like the vibe and the energy or feel of what was going on at The Source Restaurant, and I liked the people who were already there and it felt safe; so I remained from the very first day that I ever went to 'meditation' class (more a recruitment tool) that was held at the restaurant. That was how easy it was to join Jim Baker's 'family' and becoming part of the motley crew who showed up. Many were just like me---lost and seeking looking for some kind of haven or communal situation; some were unkempt and spaced out----a few borderline schizophrenic, from ingesting too many hallucinogens who were looking for a free and groovy place to land.
But, for many of us who were on our own 'spiritual quests' in search of someone or something that would satisfy our desire for metaphysical understanding; what Jim Baker was offering fulfilled that need, especially since looking for 'spiritual' teachers or groups where dabbling in Eastern mysticism was the hip thing to do in the late sixties and early seventies. People were casting around for anything that might produce 'spiritual enlightenment' and when an older man sporting a beard and longish hair hung out his 'open for business' sign that read 'all spiritual seekers welcome'/inquire within/delicious fresh food available and females being groomed to serve and inspire'----it was enticing. Jim Baker was offering 'spiritual enlightenment' to everyone who showed up and devotedly followed him and adopted his 'teachings' and he provided them with a place to live and food to eat. All anyone had to do was accept Jim Baker as their 'earthly spiritual father.' It was all so easy, and at first everything felt safe and comfortable. But, not very long after the formation of 'the family', especially as more women joined; our new leader or 'earthly spiritual father' believed that it was his role to create a super race of 'aquarian' children and he began that by trying to impregnate several of the young women who had joined his 'family.'
Many of the women who joined 'the family' who saw Jim Baker as their 'spiritual father' became conflicted when he changed the rules and decided that he needed to have sex with them and/or impregnate a few of them; all under the guise of their participation in helping him create a new 'aquarian' race. Many of us threw ourselves into following and adopting Father Yod as our 'earthly spiritual father' where unflagging devotion and obedience to the man became absolutely essential for anyone who wanted to remain in 'the family.' There was never any room for anything but whatever Jim Baker/Father Yod/Yahowha 'channeled' from the ethers to impose on his group of gung-ho prostrating followers. Your only choice was to 'get on-board' with whatever Jim Baker devised or leave, or be kicked out. Absolute commitment and adherence to the words and directives of Jim Baker, who we all called 'Father' became mandatory.
But, for many of us who joined; we became inured to the conditions in 'the family' that went from aplenty for everyone to only those pampered and favored by 'Yahowha' benefitting where life in The Source Family became increasingly stressful, indolent and dubious and many of us found ourselves incapable of extricating ourselves or our loved ones from 'the family' as things grew progressively worse. As more people joined who were solely into venerating and deifying Jim Baker; life within The Source Family became about positioning----getting next to 'Yahowha' and about 'spiritual' one-upmanship of whose kundalini would rise up their spine first claiming 'enlightenment' so sought after, by those who hovered around their new found 'spiritual father' in ever-increasing honorific ways feeding Jim Baker's messianic complex even more and more. The hero-worship and/or deification of Jim Baker grew to ludicrous proportions where life in 'the family' was all about indulging his ego, like being a rock star/lead singer of Yahowha 13 and going out to play concerts at local high schools trolling for new converts, while trying to look cool performing with a pair of shades and his shirt unbuttoned just enough to expose his huge medallion looking more like a new age pimp than spiritual father, while the rest of the members of 'the family' sat on the sidelines as spectators.
The majority of people who joined The Source Family had absolutely nothing when they joined and were mostly just people looking for an alternative or free place to land, or who had joined only because they followed their spouses, siblings or friends in joining and remained because of those familial connections. Many people who joined The Source Family remained simply because everything was provided for them, and they only had to obey and comply with whatever edict Father Yod/Yahowha imposed on the group. But, for anyone who joined The Source Family, it quickly became apparent that everything revolved around the veneration and hero-worship of Jim Baker and the catering to his every whim or desire where the entire group dynamic became one of ever-increasing worship of the man, who renamed himself 'Yahowha' as he nurtured a group bubble of delusion around himself. Towards the end of his life living in a luxury Hawaiian setting in the expensive bedroom community of Lanikai on the island of Oahu; Jim Baker spent the remainder of his days sitting/holding court surrounded by his most loyal followers where on occasion 'outsiders' would be brought in and presented to him where those family members surrounding him would laugh and giggle as if they were privy to something the 'outsiders' were not. Giving the appearance that 'Yahowha' and only his most devoted followers possessed something that people outside The Source Family did not was crucial in maintaining the illusion. The illusion that people in The Source Family were 'leaders of the new age' who possessed secret, occult 'teachings' they had gleamed from 'Yahowha' that had become the group mentality that was fomented in The Source Family, and was something that persisted in several of his followers well beyond the death of their avatar. An imperious smugness and sense of superiority was embedded in a few who had loyally followed and worshipped Jim Baker and became the outward expression of The Source Family experience more than anything else.
The entire Source Family experiment had come to its inevitable end, due to the incessant worship and adulation of Jim Baker and the pervasive groupthink that everyone in The Source Family obey and abide by the man's supposed 'teachings.' After The Source Family disbanded a year after Jim Baker died, there were a couple of former members who desperately wanted to continue living exactly as they had, while in The Source Family; especially a couple of the men and women who had been treated like rock stars and royalty while in 'the family' who wanted to maintain their perceived status and so with a heightened sense of themselves being 'spiritual' teachers; some ended up creating abusive situations in trying to gather their own group of followers trying to replicate life in The Source Family. But, that is something that the film doesn't show. Many people from The Source Family had a difficult and arduous time adjusting back into normal society when the whole thing finally ended. Those of us who remained in The Source Family had become products, or rather victims of the biblically-themed environment/collective bubble of delusion that had been created by Jim Baker---something and someone that crash-landed in the short span of six years.
Saturday, July 9, 2016
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
The Protective Role of A Father
Once in awhile, I get an email from someone who wants to know more about The Source Family and they ask me, if I would be willing to share something. Of course, I send them a link to this blog warning them that if they're hoping to find a magical and glowing endorsement; they won't find it on my blog. It's painful to watch people begin to follow Jim Baker though; people who have been fed a steady diet of magical and spiritual embellishment about the man, along with exaggerations about life in the source family that leaves out anything that might be considered disturbing or alarming. Although, feeding people only magical, happy and glowing accounts about Father Yod and The Source Family is deceptive; it is simply not being truthful. Although, I do understand why people choose to block out the harsher realities of something opting for a more mythical and magical view thinking and believing that they have to be uber positive, happy and uplifting about virtually everything in order to feign some kind of New Age spiritual consciousness.
Blocking out anything that is unsavory or disturbing and presenting only the excessively positive and idealized version of something is symptomatic of many New Age believers and enlightenment seekers. Some people who see themselves as channels of love and light often deny and block out the realities of life which places them in a perpetual state of disconnect or delusion----a delusion which becomes impossible to maintain. Choosing to only use magical thinking towards every aspect of life, while completely ignoring or blocking out anything that is harmful, unhealthy or detrimental only succeeds in perpetuating a delusional state of mind which often excuses bad behavior and detrimental practices, rather than god-forbid finding fault in someone or something or worse being labeled as being negative.
Most people would rather bury their heads in the sand and deny or reject anything from the past that is sordid or unsavory, in favor of adopting a faultless and pristine fairytale perspective. But, the wrong kinds of behavior often continue unchecked as long as people refuse to take a critical look at something. When New Age believers and spiritual seekers suspend or stop using critical thinking choosing to ignore and block out anything that conflicts with their happy or magical view of things they are perched on a precipice of delusional disorder.
Some people want to have the mystically magnified illusion of Jim Baker and The Source Family reinforced, in their yearning to find someone and something to idolize, but I cannot give that to them. Babies died in The Source Family, due to the beliefs & teachings of Father Yod/Yahowha and it is something that I refuse to block out or ignore in exchange for hero-worshipping the man. A man who was deemed as being our 'earthly spiritual father' became more consumed with his 'spiritual children' following and abiding by his so-called teachings and directives than concerned with the fact that infants might die without medical attention.
Because no matter what magic or enlightenment that anyone may claim to have experienced, during the time they spent in The Source Family and no matter how much so-called wisdom some profess to having gained from following Father Yod; none of it outweighs the fact that women lost their babies, because they followed and adopted the misguided teachings of Yahowha. Whether anyone believes or feels that Jim Baker was the living embodiment of Christ or had the ability to channel the word of God; none of that matters when faced with the reality that he believed an infant was better off dying and it's soul being liberated than receiving medical treatment of any kind. What kind of father does that? What kind of father would stand around and listen to infants scream and cry, while ensconced in their own comfortable surroundings being waited on by multiple, adoring females who prostrated themselves at his feet 24/7?
Most fifty-year-old men who are fathers especially of young girls would have paused and considered what impact it might have in a young woman's life by engaging in sexual relations with her. Just because a young woman in her teens consents to a fifty-year-old man sexually penetrating her doesn't make it ok even if some kind of magical or spiritual meaning is attached to the act. At least not any father who I would honor on Father's Day; which is exactly what one new follower of Jim Baker did on his Facebook wall---he posted a photo of Baker honoring him and presenting him as the ideal example of fatherhood!
When a man has his own children and becomes a father; he begins to look upon all children hopefully in a fatherly and protected way especially if they have daughters. Most men with daughters would never consider having sex with young women the same age as their own daughters or granddaughters, and yet that was exactly what Jim Baker did. Which is something that in my book of life a fifty-year-old man and father should not do. But, it's that kind of behavior that is being 'swept under the rug' and dismissed and excused in order to continue deifying and hero-worshipping Yahowha----anything to shove the notion of him being an uber father down the throats of an unsuspecting public.
I understand people wanting to find idols and heroes to worship and follow it's what we do in our culture, but let's not idealize or idolize a man who doesn't deserve such reverie. In my book of life, the father who should be honored and admired is the one who looks upon all children in a protective and fatherly way and who is capable of discerning what is healthy and age-appropriate behavior for themselves. A man who stops and considers what the impact might be, if they were to engage in sexual relations with a young person the same age as their own daughters or granddaughters.
Father Yod/Yahowha blurred the lines of what was sexually appropriate behavior when he decided that he would orchestrate and decide the sexual behavior of everyone in his group, and where he took sexual advantage of the women who joined who had become enthralled by the perceived power and position of a man who professed being their loving earthly spiritual father.
I will never understand how people can be so intent on the hero-worship of a man who did not look upon the young women surrounding him in a fatherly, protective way, but more in a sexual way under the guise of being a holy man. I choose to honor fathers who would never choose magical thinking over medical necessity where children are concerned. I choose to honor those fathers with daughters who would never engage in sexual relationships with young women the same age or younger than their own daughters. That is the kind of man who deserves to be honored on Father's Day not the construct of Yahowha-----a name that Jim Baker adopted, after he became convinced that he had become God and needed to procreate with several of the young women who surrounded him.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Deteriorating Conditions and Omissions
Just the idea of a country club conjures up images of swimming pools, golf courses and tennis courts and having drinks at the bar. But, for anyone who remained in The Source Family after its leader died, life at The Hilo Country Club was anything but enjoyable. Everyone was still reeling from the death of Jim Baker where the women who comprised the council of 'his women' closed ranks around the woman he deemed his mother/angel looking to her as the group's new leader where all sycophantic and fawning attention was then focused.
The Hilo Country Club was a big, empty place located outside Hilo, Hawaii that was large enough to house what remained of The Source Family. As usual, there was not a stick of furniture anywhere to be found in the entire place so everyone sat, ate and slept on the floor. Most of the houses The Source Family occupied never contained furniture, beyond the early days at The Mother House in Los Angeles, and that was especially true in Hawaii where there was barely enough money to house and feed the entire languishing group.
People would devise ways to go into Hilo to find food or simply escape the lassitude, where life in The Source Family had become a dubious plight. Most everyone who had remained in 'the family' for years no longer had any means of support and were completely dependent upon whatever was allotted or allowed to them, because the payments from the sale of The Source Restaurant were not enough to support the entire group, and since the men were the only ones Father Yod would allow to go out and look for work support for the entire group fell to the men.
It turned out that a few members had continued to maintain their own banks accounts, but the majority of members who had spent years of their life in The Source Family no longer had any viable means of support and had no money in which to buy themselves or their own children food or basic necessities. Everyone was completely dependent, but money being received from the sale of the restaurant, along with the welfare payments of the women with children that were being collected from the state of Hawaii was simply not enough to house and feed the entire group. Yahowha's mother-angel and the trove of other women whom he deemed as being his wives now had to look to the men in the group to support them, as well as the remaining indigent group of family members.
The same pandering, worshipful obeisance that was shown to Father Yod/Yahowha had been shifted to his replacement: the woman designated as his mother/angel. The pecking order in The Source Family was supposed to be that all food/resources were to go to the children first, then to the nursing or pregnant women, then to the women, and lastly the men, but in actuality it was often 'Yahowha's' mother/angel and his other women who were often provided for first and foremost---especially the women who had given birth to 'Yahowha's' biological children conceived and born in 'the family' who were viewed by some as being superior to all of the other children in 'the family.' Yes, the children conceived by Father Yod were considered to be superior not only because of his belief in the genetic superiority of his own sperm where early on he became convinced that it was his mission to produce a super race of 'aquarian' children, but largely due to the family members who believed that he was the messiah.
Deluded, magical thinking had taken a firm hold within The Source Family and it effected the thinking and behavior of everyone. With the death of Jim Baker, there really was no point in The Source Family continuing any longer yet many of us remained for another year trying to 'stick it out' while having to endure increasingly difficult and tenuous circumstances which resulted in an enervated torpor among family members who were unable to extricate themselves from the worsening circumstances. Yet, even with the death of Jim Baker, the woman seen as his mother/angel surrounded by 'the council' of women who considered themselves 'wives of Yahowha' insisted that the practice of 'sex magic' be continued and even tracked or charted which 'sons' had been 'serviced' in the performance of the ritualized 'sex magic' so highly lauded by their godman 'Yahowha'. The council of 'Yahowha's' women and his mother/angel were viewed as being especially 'chosen' and above all other family members, due to their perceived 'special' status of being 'women of Yahowha'---an imperious and delusional attitude that some still possess.
To me the continued emphasis on ritualized sex being performed seemed bizarre---to place so much emphasis on the performance of 'sex magic' when there was barely enough food for everyone to eat. Which is why it was not surprising to learn that a couple of 'Yahowha's women' got into prostitution towards the end of The Source Family and after we all dispersed, due to the seedier elements that were being attracted to 'the family.' A couple of men who were drug dealers turned pimps became attracted to the open, sexually inviting allure of the women in The Source Family---women who had been groomed and induced by Father Yod to perform 'sex magic' with any number of men in 'the family' in a detached and impersonal way, and so it was easy to see how some women could have easily made the transition from being 'mothers' in The Source Family expected to have sex with multiple 'sons' to being prostitutes in the real world.
But really----why would anyone want to exalt or idolize Jim Baker for creating any of that? Looking back, I envy those people who left and got out early, before the whole thing degenerated into what became a pressured compliance for everyone to perform 'sex magic', while often lacking food or basic necessities, along with the possibility of contracting hepatitis or a serious staph infection and the constant looming threat of being raided by the local authorities. Which is why it's all that more unfathomable to me why a small handful of people continue to try and portray life in The Source Family as having been 'ahead of its time' or that we were 'forerunners of a new age.'
There was nothing ahead of its time in an entire group of followers who ended up suffering from a lack of food living crammed and cramped together in conditions which resulted in rampant staph infections, while trying to adhere to and uphold the magical 'teachings' or beliefs of one man. All of the occult magic extolled by Father Yod and the ritualized sex, along with the constant chanting and magical incantations that were used were only distractions which perpetuated the delusion that The Source Family was 'being of service to humanity.'
Delusional beliefs and magical thinking staved off the reality that the entire thing had become a cult and was doomed for failure. Although one former zealous follower of Jim Baker blames the 'other' family members for the failure of the group, while proclaiming himself to have been superior to everyone else. A perfect example of the residual delusion that some former member's exhibit. Those of us who remained in 'the family' after Jim Baker died had become inured to the living conditions, after having lived removed from normal society sequestered away by the words and dictates of our spiritual 'father' in a childlike and dependent way with him directing and guiding us all and which ended up having a debilitating effect.
Remaining in the group and clinging to the magical, delusional beliefs that we had all adopted from Jim Baker and integrated into our daily lives seemed less frightening and uncertain, than the prospect of having to go back out into the world, which is something that all former cult members experience----the fear and consequent challenge of integrating and adjusting back into normal society. But, that is what being in a cult does: it creates a false belief that only the group or cult can offer safety and security and that the outside world poses a threat.
So, the people who remained in The Source Family endured worsening conditions when faced with the fear and uncertainty of what might happen to them outside of the group/cult. Life at The Hilo Country Club consisted of Father Yod's mother/angel leading morning meditation, then the men going into Hilo town everyday to look for food or work. Many family members looked for ways to escape into town to find food or relief even for a day, from what had become oppressive living conditions, where the women with babies or small children remained at the 'country club' all day sitting around waiting for one of the men to return with food. Mothers spent the day watching over the children utilizing 'the box' whenever a child became unruly or disobedient. Everyone walked around in a dazed and distracted way some combating 'golden spell', the term used for hepatitis without medical treatment.
Again, I want to emphasize for anyone who has watched the film thinking/believing that life in The Source Family was some kind of idealized 'new age' utopia that had they been there in Hilo and had endured the conditions at both The Doc Hill mansion and The Hilo Country Club; they would feel entirely different about the whole thing. But, people have been given a false impression and fed only a glamorized version of the story---one that left out the fact that Jim Baker sexualized his so-called 'teachings' so much so that he began to order women that he referred to as his 'daughters' and his 'wives' to sexually service multiple men or 'sons' within 'the family'----many practically strangers to the women who were compelled to follow their 'spiritual father's' directive.
If the filmmakers had been given all of the facts initially, where every aspect of what went on in The Source Family had been revealed to them rather than only being fed one former member's whitewashed and sanitized version or narrative, then perhaps the film labeled a documentary would have been a more truthful and honest rendering, rather than a film that gives the viewing public the impression that life in The Source Family was a magical wonderland or a harmless, benign social experiment having very few negative effects on its members. Instead, the filmmakers had certain things hidden and withheld from them, by a woman and her partner (both former members) who wanted to gain media attention for themselves and so they intentionally left out certain aspects of the story, while glorifying themselves. The 2012 film contained nothing about how babies had died who never received any medical help, or how ingesting a mixture of semen and menstrual blood became the apex of Father Yod's so-called 'teachings.'
Two former 'source family' members highjacked the entire story to use to their own advantage leaving out/omitting anything they wanted left out. I don't think that any young parent nowadays would tolerate or allow their infant or small child to go without food, or suffer from an untreated staph infection or be put into a wooden box with holes, because of the directives of one man and the peer pressure to comply, but that was what life was like in The Source Family. Parents were put under tremendous pressure to follow Father Yod's edicts regarding their own children. The publicity photos that surround the film that the public are so enthralled by and impressed with were taken to promote the music of Yahowha 13 and were merely a form of propaganda meant to attract new members----hopefully people with money or fame. Father Yod wanted to give the appearance of The Source Family being a wealthy and affluent group.
It's hard to understand why anyone would want to idolize or hero-worship a man whose beliefs and directives allowed babies to die without receiving medical treatment, and how anyone can ignore the fact that young women were thirteen and fourteen-years-old when Jim Baker insisted on penetrating them sexually, by convincing them it was for their own 'spiritual growth' or that he needed to impregnate them in order to create a super race of 'aquarian' children.
Women who now feel as though they were taken advantage of by an older man posing as their 'spiritual' teacher and father-figure are dismissed and peer pressured to remain silent, by those former Source Family members who are intent on hero-worshipping and immortalizing Jim Baker. The women who believe they were victimized by Father Yod by his own sexual misconduct and his deluded, sexualized so-called 'teachings' are told to 'forget about it' and 'leave it in the past', in exchange for their adopting a sanitized and more idealized narrative.
The Hilo Country Club was a big, empty place located outside Hilo, Hawaii that was large enough to house what remained of The Source Family. As usual, there was not a stick of furniture anywhere to be found in the entire place so everyone sat, ate and slept on the floor. Most of the houses The Source Family occupied never contained furniture, beyond the early days at The Mother House in Los Angeles, and that was especially true in Hawaii where there was barely enough money to house and feed the entire languishing group.
People would devise ways to go into Hilo to find food or simply escape the lassitude, where life in The Source Family had become a dubious plight. Most everyone who had remained in 'the family' for years no longer had any means of support and were completely dependent upon whatever was allotted or allowed to them, because the payments from the sale of The Source Restaurant were not enough to support the entire group, and since the men were the only ones Father Yod would allow to go out and look for work support for the entire group fell to the men.
It turned out that a few members had continued to maintain their own banks accounts, but the majority of members who had spent years of their life in The Source Family no longer had any viable means of support and had no money in which to buy themselves or their own children food or basic necessities. Everyone was completely dependent, but money being received from the sale of the restaurant, along with the welfare payments of the women with children that were being collected from the state of Hawaii was simply not enough to house and feed the entire group. Yahowha's mother-angel and the trove of other women whom he deemed as being his wives now had to look to the men in the group to support them, as well as the remaining indigent group of family members.
The same pandering, worshipful obeisance that was shown to Father Yod/Yahowha had been shifted to his replacement: the woman designated as his mother/angel. The pecking order in The Source Family was supposed to be that all food/resources were to go to the children first, then to the nursing or pregnant women, then to the women, and lastly the men, but in actuality it was often 'Yahowha's' mother/angel and his other women who were often provided for first and foremost---especially the women who had given birth to 'Yahowha's' biological children conceived and born in 'the family' who were viewed by some as being superior to all of the other children in 'the family.' Yes, the children conceived by Father Yod were considered to be superior not only because of his belief in the genetic superiority of his own sperm where early on he became convinced that it was his mission to produce a super race of 'aquarian' children, but largely due to the family members who believed that he was the messiah.
Deluded, magical thinking had taken a firm hold within The Source Family and it effected the thinking and behavior of everyone. With the death of Jim Baker, there really was no point in The Source Family continuing any longer yet many of us remained for another year trying to 'stick it out' while having to endure increasingly difficult and tenuous circumstances which resulted in an enervated torpor among family members who were unable to extricate themselves from the worsening circumstances. Yet, even with the death of Jim Baker, the woman seen as his mother/angel surrounded by 'the council' of women who considered themselves 'wives of Yahowha' insisted that the practice of 'sex magic' be continued and even tracked or charted which 'sons' had been 'serviced' in the performance of the ritualized 'sex magic' so highly lauded by their godman 'Yahowha'. The council of 'Yahowha's' women and his mother/angel were viewed as being especially 'chosen' and above all other family members, due to their perceived 'special' status of being 'women of Yahowha'---an imperious and delusional attitude that some still possess.
To me the continued emphasis on ritualized sex being performed seemed bizarre---to place so much emphasis on the performance of 'sex magic' when there was barely enough food for everyone to eat. Which is why it was not surprising to learn that a couple of 'Yahowha's women' got into prostitution towards the end of The Source Family and after we all dispersed, due to the seedier elements that were being attracted to 'the family.' A couple of men who were drug dealers turned pimps became attracted to the open, sexually inviting allure of the women in The Source Family---women who had been groomed and induced by Father Yod to perform 'sex magic' with any number of men in 'the family' in a detached and impersonal way, and so it was easy to see how some women could have easily made the transition from being 'mothers' in The Source Family expected to have sex with multiple 'sons' to being prostitutes in the real world.
But really----why would anyone want to exalt or idolize Jim Baker for creating any of that? Looking back, I envy those people who left and got out early, before the whole thing degenerated into what became a pressured compliance for everyone to perform 'sex magic', while often lacking food or basic necessities, along with the possibility of contracting hepatitis or a serious staph infection and the constant looming threat of being raided by the local authorities. Which is why it's all that more unfathomable to me why a small handful of people continue to try and portray life in The Source Family as having been 'ahead of its time' or that we were 'forerunners of a new age.'
There was nothing ahead of its time in an entire group of followers who ended up suffering from a lack of food living crammed and cramped together in conditions which resulted in rampant staph infections, while trying to adhere to and uphold the magical 'teachings' or beliefs of one man. All of the occult magic extolled by Father Yod and the ritualized sex, along with the constant chanting and magical incantations that were used were only distractions which perpetuated the delusion that The Source Family was 'being of service to humanity.'
Delusional beliefs and magical thinking staved off the reality that the entire thing had become a cult and was doomed for failure. Although one former zealous follower of Jim Baker blames the 'other' family members for the failure of the group, while proclaiming himself to have been superior to everyone else. A perfect example of the residual delusion that some former member's exhibit. Those of us who remained in 'the family' after Jim Baker died had become inured to the living conditions, after having lived removed from normal society sequestered away by the words and dictates of our spiritual 'father' in a childlike and dependent way with him directing and guiding us all and which ended up having a debilitating effect.
Remaining in the group and clinging to the magical, delusional beliefs that we had all adopted from Jim Baker and integrated into our daily lives seemed less frightening and uncertain, than the prospect of having to go back out into the world, which is something that all former cult members experience----the fear and consequent challenge of integrating and adjusting back into normal society. But, that is what being in a cult does: it creates a false belief that only the group or cult can offer safety and security and that the outside world poses a threat.
So, the people who remained in The Source Family endured worsening conditions when faced with the fear and uncertainty of what might happen to them outside of the group/cult. Life at The Hilo Country Club consisted of Father Yod's mother/angel leading morning meditation, then the men going into Hilo town everyday to look for food or work. Many family members looked for ways to escape into town to find food or relief even for a day, from what had become oppressive living conditions, where the women with babies or small children remained at the 'country club' all day sitting around waiting for one of the men to return with food. Mothers spent the day watching over the children utilizing 'the box' whenever a child became unruly or disobedient. Everyone walked around in a dazed and distracted way some combating 'golden spell', the term used for hepatitis without medical treatment.
Again, I want to emphasize for anyone who has watched the film thinking/believing that life in The Source Family was some kind of idealized 'new age' utopia that had they been there in Hilo and had endured the conditions at both The Doc Hill mansion and The Hilo Country Club; they would feel entirely different about the whole thing. But, people have been given a false impression and fed only a glamorized version of the story---one that left out the fact that Jim Baker sexualized his so-called 'teachings' so much so that he began to order women that he referred to as his 'daughters' and his 'wives' to sexually service multiple men or 'sons' within 'the family'----many practically strangers to the women who were compelled to follow their 'spiritual father's' directive.
If the filmmakers had been given all of the facts initially, where every aspect of what went on in The Source Family had been revealed to them rather than only being fed one former member's whitewashed and sanitized version or narrative, then perhaps the film labeled a documentary would have been a more truthful and honest rendering, rather than a film that gives the viewing public the impression that life in The Source Family was a magical wonderland or a harmless, benign social experiment having very few negative effects on its members. Instead, the filmmakers had certain things hidden and withheld from them, by a woman and her partner (both former members) who wanted to gain media attention for themselves and so they intentionally left out certain aspects of the story, while glorifying themselves. The 2012 film contained nothing about how babies had died who never received any medical help, or how ingesting a mixture of semen and menstrual blood became the apex of Father Yod's so-called 'teachings.'
Two former 'source family' members highjacked the entire story to use to their own advantage leaving out/omitting anything they wanted left out. I don't think that any young parent nowadays would tolerate or allow their infant or small child to go without food, or suffer from an untreated staph infection or be put into a wooden box with holes, because of the directives of one man and the peer pressure to comply, but that was what life was like in The Source Family. Parents were put under tremendous pressure to follow Father Yod's edicts regarding their own children. The publicity photos that surround the film that the public are so enthralled by and impressed with were taken to promote the music of Yahowha 13 and were merely a form of propaganda meant to attract new members----hopefully people with money or fame. Father Yod wanted to give the appearance of The Source Family being a wealthy and affluent group.
It's hard to understand why anyone would want to idolize or hero-worship a man whose beliefs and directives allowed babies to die without receiving medical treatment, and how anyone can ignore the fact that young women were thirteen and fourteen-years-old when Jim Baker insisted on penetrating them sexually, by convincing them it was for their own 'spiritual growth' or that he needed to impregnate them in order to create a super race of 'aquarian' children.
Women who now feel as though they were taken advantage of by an older man posing as their 'spiritual' teacher and father-figure are dismissed and peer pressured to remain silent, by those former Source Family members who are intent on hero-worshipping and immortalizing Jim Baker. The women who believe they were victimized by Father Yod by his own sexual misconduct and his deluded, sexualized so-called 'teachings' are told to 'forget about it' and 'leave it in the past', in exchange for their adopting a sanitized and more idealized narrative.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Spiritual Arrogance
One of the results of sitting in front of Jim Baker day in and day out in a meditative state listening to him drone on and on in a subliminal, trance-like and hypnotic way convincing his group of followers they were all part of a 'guardian wall' that protected humanity and how they were the forerunners of the 'aquarian age', and how they outshone the rest of humanity was that he began nurturing a false spiritual pride and ego in his devoted followers where chests began to puff up and arrogant, imperious attitudes and a self-satisfied, hubris became the by-product of what Jim Baker was saying; a spiritual smugness which still exists today in some of his more feverish followers. The spiritual ego or pride that Jim Baker fostered in those who sat in front of him became the signature behavior and attitude of many in The Source Family.
The entire new age movement and trendy 'spiritual' awakening in this country is fraught with people who suffer from a false, magnified sense of their own 'spiritual' accomplishment or knowledge some claiming to have a direct connection or channel to God, or other disembodied 'ascended' masters. Jim Baker saw himself as a 'holy' man; a spiritually awakened man who had received a divine transmission or message that he needed to gather together and foster/father the lost and seeking young souls who were wandering around looking for a spiritual mooring in which to anchor themselves, and in doing so he was able to convince his followers that they had been divinely chosen by God to lead the rest of humanity. But, from that grew an arrogant and spiritually superior attitude that is symptomatic of many who pursue a spiritual path to enlightenment. The attitude fostered by Jim Baker among his followers was that they were better than the rest of humanity, and that they were the 'chosen ones' meant to lead mankind. Many of Jim Baker's followers believed that he was a direct 'channel' to God. Spiritual ego or pride is something that is rampant among the multitude of new age/self-help and enlightened milieu of the 'new age' movement that began in the late sixties/early seventies.
Nowadays self-proclaimed 'enlightened' or 'illuminated' individuals abound everywhere either on youtube or churning out videos and books holding retreats and symposiums on how to attain or achieve 'self mastery' or 'God-consciousness' claiming to be in possession of specific knowledge or wisdom that only they alone seem to possess. It often becomes confusing trying to find just the right avatar or 'spiritual' leader/teacher or expert to follow. In 1969/70 the pool of spiritual teachers especially Western gurus was limited and so Jim Baker stood out with his long hair and beard bearing a striking resemblance to a modern-day Moses and was able to form his own 'spiritual' group or quasi 'family' with the proceeds from his successful first-of-its-kind all vegetarian restaurant situated propitiously right on Sunset Boulevard frequented by every Hollywood star or rock musician who were either staying up the street at the Chateau Marmont or who happened to be driving by on their way to the Whiskey A Go Go.
The Brotherhood of The Source began to form around Jim Baker, who began attracting and taking in/harboring some of the young, lost souls who had been floundering around the streets of Los Angeles or who had travelled cross-country in search of the promise of illumination in finding and following an Eastern guru or mystical 'teacher' who had found a home among the freewheeling counterculture abundantly found in California---people looking for groovy and fantastical experiences that psychedelics such as LSD and mescaline had given some a glimpse into something otherworldly and cosmic in origin, and so delving into meditation, yoga and the occult, along with theosophy and metaphysics became the new alternative culture. Joining Jim Baker to help him run his restaurant, while becoming one of his disciples in his newly formed 'religion of the eternal now' was a perfect storm, where all of the external forces came together at the same time and produced something that would end up wrecking more havoc and destruction in people's lives, than it having any true, lasting positive effect. Many people from the sixties/early seventies got into Eastern 'spiritual' pursuits and the occult believing that once they were 'illuminated' that they were then qualified to lead others as their 'spiritual' guide or master, often with disastrous results. People little qualified with nothing more than their own claim of 'illumination' and/or a direct connection with either God or some other ascended deity began to gather followers. Many who had deep, emotional problems and issues which they had never dealt with or addressed were now leading people in finding spiritual fulfillment! Which is exactly what Jim Baker did, who went from being a Hollywood 'player' would-be bank robber to someone who after spending a few months with Yogi Bhajan started to believe that he, Jim Baker had become a 'holy' man destined to lead a group of his own 'spiritual children'. It's my view that Jim Baker was psychologically and emotionally ill-equipped to 'teach' or lead an entire group of people mainly because he let his male organ make his decisions for him, and was a man who believed that his semen was superior and that he was destined to create a super race.
Men and women with profound psychological problems even sociopaths have claimed to be 'spiritually enlightened' or having attained cosmic-consciousness. People who gather their own followers for their own egotistical desires and need for attention often become 'spiritual leaders'; something that was indicative of many of the so-called 'spiritual' leaders of groups and cults that began to pop up, during the late sixties/early seventies. Simulated messianic figures proclaiming they had the ability to transfer divine knowledge and wisdom; people claiming to being reincarnated from thousands of years ago and to being 'channels' of ancient and secret 'keys' for unlocking the secret mysteries of life began to appear everywhere, due to the 'new age' movement. Many people were searching for a quick, cosmic fix---someone or something that would transform them into superconscious and awakened beings and finding someone who offered that up became too good to pass up. That was what Jim Baker was offering, but what happened after he died and The Source Family ended; was that quite a few former members ended up living dissolute and drug-induced/alcoholic lifestyles, a residual effect for many who joined Jim Baker's 'aquarian' tribe. Because nothing that Father Yod/Yahowha was espousing actually dealt with or addressed anyone's underlying emotional problems. None of the magical thinking or ritualistic practices that were indicative of life in The Source Family addressed anyone's individual psychological and emotional problems, but only succeeded in creating a temporary and illusionary living situation where Jim Baker, the ersatz father decided what everyone should wear, and what everyone would eat, and how everyone should conduct themselves sexually; especially in having the men and women in his 'family' practice the sex magic that he began to covet that would become the pinnacle of his so-called 'teachings'.
So, when Father Yod/Yahowha died and The Source Family ended; the maladapted relationships of men having multiple wives or women and virtually all of the delusional magical beliefs found in 'the family' left many floundering trying to figure out how to adjust back into normal, mainstream society most importantly reconnecting with their own estranged family members. I believe there is a downside in pursuing enlightenment or cosmic-consciousness without also dealing with your own underlying emotional problems and issues---something that I have observed can produce sociopaths who feign a state of being enlightened and possessing infinite wisdom, while hiding or masking who they really are. When a pathological liar or a womanizer adopts and feigns the mantle of 'spiritual' attainment and profess themselves as being enlightened; it is an easy way for them to hide or cover-up aspects of themselves. People operating under a false sense of their own enlightenment and of their own spiritual superiority to others excuse themselves from the moral conduct that applies to the rest of society, to the extent that their own bad behaviors are perfectly acceptable to them, and to their devoted flock of followers. It's very prevalent to find haughty, arrogant and intransigent egos among the many spiritually 'realized' beings around today, who have managed to gather their own following. The cases of spurious spiritual leaders taking sexual advantage of the women among their followers has become textbook behavior; sexual misconduct of men who proclaim themselves to be either Jesus Christ reincarnated, or God. I've included an article written by Mariana Caplan titled 10 Spiritually Transmitted Diseases where I found that although all applied to Jim Baker and The Source Family numbers 8 and 9 were dead-on.
But, it's approaching fifty years, since Father Yod/Yahowha ruled over his quasi family, and people have now become more self-aware and know more about the pitfalls of choosing and following a guru or spiritual master, but rather than trying to elevate/idealize and idolize someone and something that was flawed from the very beginning and that got progressively worse over time, due to the spiritual arrogance and deluded, magical thinking that was fed and nurtured; it's time to expose what went on in The Source Family with frank and honest dialogue. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mariana-caplan-phd/spiritual-living-10-spiri_b_609248.html
The entire new age movement and trendy 'spiritual' awakening in this country is fraught with people who suffer from a false, magnified sense of their own 'spiritual' accomplishment or knowledge some claiming to have a direct connection or channel to God, or other disembodied 'ascended' masters. Jim Baker saw himself as a 'holy' man; a spiritually awakened man who had received a divine transmission or message that he needed to gather together and foster/father the lost and seeking young souls who were wandering around looking for a spiritual mooring in which to anchor themselves, and in doing so he was able to convince his followers that they had been divinely chosen by God to lead the rest of humanity. But, from that grew an arrogant and spiritually superior attitude that is symptomatic of many who pursue a spiritual path to enlightenment. The attitude fostered by Jim Baker among his followers was that they were better than the rest of humanity, and that they were the 'chosen ones' meant to lead mankind. Many of Jim Baker's followers believed that he was a direct 'channel' to God. Spiritual ego or pride is something that is rampant among the multitude of new age/self-help and enlightened milieu of the 'new age' movement that began in the late sixties/early seventies.
Nowadays self-proclaimed 'enlightened' or 'illuminated' individuals abound everywhere either on youtube or churning out videos and books holding retreats and symposiums on how to attain or achieve 'self mastery' or 'God-consciousness' claiming to be in possession of specific knowledge or wisdom that only they alone seem to possess. It often becomes confusing trying to find just the right avatar or 'spiritual' leader/teacher or expert to follow. In 1969/70 the pool of spiritual teachers especially Western gurus was limited and so Jim Baker stood out with his long hair and beard bearing a striking resemblance to a modern-day Moses and was able to form his own 'spiritual' group or quasi 'family' with the proceeds from his successful first-of-its-kind all vegetarian restaurant situated propitiously right on Sunset Boulevard frequented by every Hollywood star or rock musician who were either staying up the street at the Chateau Marmont or who happened to be driving by on their way to the Whiskey A Go Go.
The Brotherhood of The Source began to form around Jim Baker, who began attracting and taking in/harboring some of the young, lost souls who had been floundering around the streets of Los Angeles or who had travelled cross-country in search of the promise of illumination in finding and following an Eastern guru or mystical 'teacher' who had found a home among the freewheeling counterculture abundantly found in California---people looking for groovy and fantastical experiences that psychedelics such as LSD and mescaline had given some a glimpse into something otherworldly and cosmic in origin, and so delving into meditation, yoga and the occult, along with theosophy and metaphysics became the new alternative culture. Joining Jim Baker to help him run his restaurant, while becoming one of his disciples in his newly formed 'religion of the eternal now' was a perfect storm, where all of the external forces came together at the same time and produced something that would end up wrecking more havoc and destruction in people's lives, than it having any true, lasting positive effect. Many people from the sixties/early seventies got into Eastern 'spiritual' pursuits and the occult believing that once they were 'illuminated' that they were then qualified to lead others as their 'spiritual' guide or master, often with disastrous results. People little qualified with nothing more than their own claim of 'illumination' and/or a direct connection with either God or some other ascended deity began to gather followers. Many who had deep, emotional problems and issues which they had never dealt with or addressed were now leading people in finding spiritual fulfillment! Which is exactly what Jim Baker did, who went from being a Hollywood 'player' would-be bank robber to someone who after spending a few months with Yogi Bhajan started to believe that he, Jim Baker had become a 'holy' man destined to lead a group of his own 'spiritual children'. It's my view that Jim Baker was psychologically and emotionally ill-equipped to 'teach' or lead an entire group of people mainly because he let his male organ make his decisions for him, and was a man who believed that his semen was superior and that he was destined to create a super race.
Men and women with profound psychological problems even sociopaths have claimed to be 'spiritually enlightened' or having attained cosmic-consciousness. People who gather their own followers for their own egotistical desires and need for attention often become 'spiritual leaders'; something that was indicative of many of the so-called 'spiritual' leaders of groups and cults that began to pop up, during the late sixties/early seventies. Simulated messianic figures proclaiming they had the ability to transfer divine knowledge and wisdom; people claiming to being reincarnated from thousands of years ago and to being 'channels' of ancient and secret 'keys' for unlocking the secret mysteries of life began to appear everywhere, due to the 'new age' movement. Many people were searching for a quick, cosmic fix---someone or something that would transform them into superconscious and awakened beings and finding someone who offered that up became too good to pass up. That was what Jim Baker was offering, but what happened after he died and The Source Family ended; was that quite a few former members ended up living dissolute and drug-induced/alcoholic lifestyles, a residual effect for many who joined Jim Baker's 'aquarian' tribe. Because nothing that Father Yod/Yahowha was espousing actually dealt with or addressed anyone's underlying emotional problems. None of the magical thinking or ritualistic practices that were indicative of life in The Source Family addressed anyone's individual psychological and emotional problems, but only succeeded in creating a temporary and illusionary living situation where Jim Baker, the ersatz father decided what everyone should wear, and what everyone would eat, and how everyone should conduct themselves sexually; especially in having the men and women in his 'family' practice the sex magic that he began to covet that would become the pinnacle of his so-called 'teachings'.
So, when Father Yod/Yahowha died and The Source Family ended; the maladapted relationships of men having multiple wives or women and virtually all of the delusional magical beliefs found in 'the family' left many floundering trying to figure out how to adjust back into normal, mainstream society most importantly reconnecting with their own estranged family members. I believe there is a downside in pursuing enlightenment or cosmic-consciousness without also dealing with your own underlying emotional problems and issues---something that I have observed can produce sociopaths who feign a state of being enlightened and possessing infinite wisdom, while hiding or masking who they really are. When a pathological liar or a womanizer adopts and feigns the mantle of 'spiritual' attainment and profess themselves as being enlightened; it is an easy way for them to hide or cover-up aspects of themselves. People operating under a false sense of their own enlightenment and of their own spiritual superiority to others excuse themselves from the moral conduct that applies to the rest of society, to the extent that their own bad behaviors are perfectly acceptable to them, and to their devoted flock of followers. It's very prevalent to find haughty, arrogant and intransigent egos among the many spiritually 'realized' beings around today, who have managed to gather their own following. The cases of spurious spiritual leaders taking sexual advantage of the women among their followers has become textbook behavior; sexual misconduct of men who proclaim themselves to be either Jesus Christ reincarnated, or God. I've included an article written by Mariana Caplan titled 10 Spiritually Transmitted Diseases where I found that although all applied to Jim Baker and The Source Family numbers 8 and 9 were dead-on.
But, it's approaching fifty years, since Father Yod/Yahowha ruled over his quasi family, and people have now become more self-aware and know more about the pitfalls of choosing and following a guru or spiritual master, but rather than trying to elevate/idealize and idolize someone and something that was flawed from the very beginning and that got progressively worse over time, due to the spiritual arrogance and deluded, magical thinking that was fed and nurtured; it's time to expose what went on in The Source Family with frank and honest dialogue. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mariana-caplan-phd/spiritual-living-10-spiri_b_609248.html
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Mothers and 'Suns'
Probably the most absurd and contrived pseudo-relationship that Jim Baker devised within The Source Family was that of the Mother/Sun. Jim Baker referred to any man who joined The Brotherhood of The Source as being his 'son', but he also likened a man to the sun shining life-giving rays on to woman, whom he equated with the moon having no light of her own only capable of reflecting her man or sun's light and so he referred to the men as both his sons and suns. So, I decided to use suns in the title, since the mother/sun relationship contrived by Father Yod within The Source Family was hardly a maternal one. Because I'm not talking about the relationship between a woman and her biological child or son; but a spurious one concocted by Father Yod between the women in the family whom he gave the title of mother; comprised of the women he was having sex with on an ongoing basis whom he also began to refer to as his 'wives', and the men in his family deemed as his suns.
When Jim Baker decided to adopt and introduce the ceremonial 'sex magick' that he had gleaned from reading Aleister Crowley; he also decided to designate his 'wives'/any of the women whom he started to have sex with from the pool of women within 'the family' as mothers, whose primary purpose was to perform the ceremonial 'sex magick' called kadosh with any one of the men, or suns. Yes, that was exactly what life was like, being in The Source Family. Every single woman could have her relationship usurped and undermined at any moment by Father Yod assigning one of his women deemed a mother to engage in ceremonial 'sex magick' with another woman's partner, husband or father of her child. Absolutely no relationship was respected, but rather continuously transgressed by the often unsettling directives laid down by our self-appointed 'earthly spiritual father', Father Yod because he believed that the role of women a subservient one, as quoted from several passages in his book Liberation,"the Woman's whole life revolves around, and is dependent upon, her Man", and "He(man) is Her security....Her Life....Her reason for BEING", and "the woman's way to Liberation is to serve and inspire Her Man", and "The perfect Woman is both Wife and Mother, to Her Man." The same kinds of postulations made about women found in other male-dominated faith-based belief systems throughout history; belief systems that believe women are subordinate to men.
Oh, Jim Baker loved to give the appearance of treating women as though they were 'the mothers of all living' espousing how all women should be respected and not lusted after; yet his own behavior and actions appeared to always contradict his own words, and always seemed more self-serving designed to accommodate his own lustful desires masked by the pretense of attaining a higher spiritual consciousness. But Father Yod made a distinction between the women labeled as mothers, and those labeled as angels, because the title of mother per Father Yod which had nothing to do with the mothers of babies and small children implied that the women he was having sex with had a higher status than the rest of the women in The Source Family, as though they had received some sort of imaginary transmission (or rather emission) from their seemingly divinely ordained godman Father Yod/Yahowha. I felt the role of mother as assigned by Father Yod completely undermined the women who were either married or who had formed close, intimate relationships or partnerships with men in 'the family', because those given the title of mother were to be treated and viewed as being special or above everyone else; a belief based on the deluded and erroneous magical thinking that was the mainstay of The Source Family.
Because every aspect of life in Jim Baker's Source Family was originated and fueled by magical thinking along with talismanic ritual belief and repetition. None of the women who were having sex with Jim Baker were any higher or more evolved or enlightened than those women who did not have sex with the man. The entire thing was complete and utter poppycock devised and implemented by Father Yod in his ever-increasing desire to control the man/woman relationships within his so-called 'family' by manipulating the sexual behavior of absolutely everyone! Many of the women who comprised The Source Family lost respect for the men whom they were involved with, due to Father Yod's contrived mother/sun maladaptation. If a woman was labelled as being an angel within The Source Family, she was seen as having a lesser social position; which is also why some women clamored around 'Yahowha' for the distinction of being called one of 'his women' and given the title of mother. An angel was not seen as equal in status to that of their counterpart the mother. I saw the mother and angel distinctions devised by Father Yod create discord, confusion and feelings of disempowerment among the women in 'the family' whose husbands and partners could be randomly 'scooped up' (a cutesy 'source family' term meaning a woman initiating sex with a sun) by a mother assigned by Father Yod. Women were expected to acquiesce and standby/allow the men in their lives to be regularly 'scooped up' by their designated mother to engage in ceremonial 'sex magick'. Yet, Father Yod absolved his own angel, Makushla from having to serve any of the other men/suns or perform 'sex magic' with any of them; so she was given a special dispensation and given a new title of mother/angel and appointed and anointed as being his very own special mother/angel.
Although, Father Yod only allowed Makushla to be called his mother/angel elevating her status within the entire group above all the rest, to such an extent that she was seen as being his spiritual equivalent to be showered and treated with the same reverence and respect, as shown to him. I believe that the ritualistic 'sex magic' that Jim Baker expected the women to perform with the suns in The Source Family transgressed the personal boundaries of all the women who comprised 'the family' putting us all in stressful, uncertain, compromising and sexually unprotected situations. Because Father Yod used his power and control as the 'spiritual' leader and ersatz father of the entire group to mandate that both men and women obey and comply with his 'teachings' that he believed would lead to a higher 'spiritual' consciousness. But, the only woman whose status was elevated within The Source Family was that of Father Yod's own mother/angel; whereas the rest of the women were expected to perform something that his own mother/angel was exempt from having to perform. It's no wonder that the one woman designated as being 'Yahowha's mother/angel' was left with pleasant memories of being in The Source Family, because she was the only one who had a get-out-of-jail-free card. Only Father Yod's mother/angel was exempt from having to perform ceremonial 'sex magic' with any number of men within The Source Family; nor did she have to take care of the children during 'children's duty', or do laundry, cleaning or any of the other menial chores performed by the other women within The Source Family, but instead was treated like a queen being pampered and waited on and afforded the luxury of accompanying Father Yod to Europe and India.
Yet, there are some who proclaim that life in The Source Family was 'ahead of its time' and that it was representative of a new 'aquarian age'. The faux mother/sun relationships devised by Father Yod gave a few women status and perceived power over other women and undermined the man/woman relationships that had already been established within The Source Family. The public can now get a better understanding of why so many men and women who were in The Source Family are embarrassed by having been part of such a group and want nothing to do with any of it feeling only degrees of regret and embarrassment for having followed Jim Baker to the extent they did and for having willingly participated in what most consider to have been deviant, sexual practices. Because the reality was that the only relationship that Father Yod treated as sacrosanct within The Source Family was that of his own with Makushla, but where none of the rules or expected behaviors for the rest of the family members applied to her, because he elevated her above all others.
For me, Jim Baker's behavior resembled more that of Henry VIII minus the beheadings than that of a man claiming to be the "earthly spiritual father' of a new age. Because, removing and replacing one woman for another whom he had become sexually enamored showing favoritism and allowing special treatment and luxuries for some, but not others certainly applied to life in Henry VIII's court, as well as in Jim Baker's court or rather cult.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Moral Authority and Wasted Years
One of the fundamental questions that people ask, after watching the 2012 film about The Source Family is, "why would anyone join a cult?" Most people cannot understand how or why anyone would follow someone like Jim Baker and obey his directives; it is just unfathomable to most people. I believe that the larger or grosser problem of cults like The Source Family is the fact that people hand over or surrender their ability for making their own personal decisions and choices; handing over all moral responsibility to one central figure to make their decisions and choices for them, even in life and death situations. Once you surrender your personal power to another individual, then your choices are no longer your own. One definition of moral authority is the following: 'the capacity to convince others how the world should be' which absolutely sums up what Father Yod was able to achieve within his 'family', because most of the people who devotedly followed the man believed him to have a supreme moral authority equal to that of God.
The problem with so many spiritual and quasi-religious leaders and gurus is they begin to believe they are the voice and embodiment of a supreme and almighty presence on earth and are destined or preordained to lead people. Which is exactly what happened with Jim Baker when people began to follow him, and because of his followers believing him to be 'the voice of God'; they willingly surrendered their will and began to adopt and adhere to Jim Baker's first two commandments of his 'Ten Commandments for the Age of Aquarius' which were: 1) obey and live by the teachings of your earthly spiritual father 2) love your earthly spiritual father more than yourself.
For many in The Source Family, Jim Baker surpassed all other gurus, spiritual leaders or teachers around at that time, but he was also offering a free place to land where the only requirement really needed to join were working in the restaurant and attending 'class' every morning where Jim Baker began cultivating his following and attracting his own 'spiritual children' by offering a seemingly idyllic alternative lifestyle where the 'pursuit of spirit' was to have been the primary objective, but where he also nurtured a 'spiritual' elitism among his followers by convincing them they were chosen by God to lead humanity into the approaching Age of Aquarius.
Because Jim Baker owned a restaurant and could provide a livelihood for everyone who showed up to join his cult, it offered a a sanctuary from the streets of Los Angeles for anyone who even feigned an interest in what Jim Baker was saying. In the late sixties/early seventies many people like me were wandering and moving around the country searching for communes and groups of likeminded people who had also experienced the transformative results brought on by the hallucinatory and mystical effects of LSD, psilocybin and other mind-altering drugs that many people during the sixties and seventies had experimented with and even used on a regular basis which induced feelings of peace and love towards their fellowman. So, many people were seeking alternative ways to live their lives that were counter to the prevailing culture.
A result of the drug-induced mind-expansion of the sixties and early seventies was that people began to search for answers to their existential questions about the meaning and purpose of life and many people were in a quandary about what to do with their life, after having 'dropped out' from mainstream society opting for alternative lifestyles where 'returning to the garden' became more appealing than the materialism and consumerism found in our Western culture, which is also what lead many people to adopt Eastern philosophies and mysticism casting about for a teacher, master or guru to follow who might provide them with answers to the mysteries of life or lead them to nirvana.
Finding The Source Restaurant was like finding an oasis where free food and a place to stay were being offered by a fatherly-looking man who was also offering a fast track to enlightenment, and finding such a place populated by your own peers most who were wearing their hair long just like you---at first seemed like an idyllic situation. It was a situation that made it that much easier for Jim Baker to gather his own group of followers and devotees to operate his restaurant and generate much needed income. Thus, by providing a livelihood for people it also facilitated Jim Baker in acquiring his own 'spiritual' followers; people who were impressed with his physical appearance and the 'teachings' that he was espousing to whomever would listen. People became enthralled by the outward appearance of a man who looked like Moses and the all-white clad disciples that were beginning to surround him: people whom he proclaimed were the 'forerunners of a new age'; a heady and appealing 'new' prospect for many of the disaffected that showed up.
In retrospect, it was a smart move on Jim Baker's part, because he gained people to run his restaurant without having to pay them a wage, and he gained the 'spiritual' children or followers that he sought. So, more people showed up at The Source Restaurant and joined 'the brotherhood' drawn to either the food and a free place to stay, or the promise of having 'secret esoteric teachings' revealed to them, along with the outward appeal of a group of longhaired people all dressed in white sitting around a man who proclaimed he had reincarnated from Atlantis and many who simply followed their spouses and siblings in joining.
Jim Baker looked the part of a father; an older, bearded man with a big grin giving bear hugs telling everyone who showed up, "welcome home" making them feel they belonged and were one of his 'spiritual' children, but where soon some of his female 'spiritual children' became sexually attractive to him. There are many former family members who feel they lost or wasted years of their life, by stopping and dropping everything they had going on in their lives to join and follow Jim Baker. Coming out at the end of all of it; many people felt they had lost chunks of their lives by remaining in The Source Family for years. Because after The Source Family ended people had a difficult time trying to adjust back into normal society and put their lives and careers back together; lives and careers that had been put on hold and suspended which is one of the predominate regrets that I've heard from several former longtime Source Family members of just how much they regret the years of their life spent in 'the family'. Although the 2012 film has tried to present success stories at the end of the film which are hardly accurate and not representative of the larger majority of former members. Anyone who joined The Source Family essentially put their lives on hold some selling all of their material possessions or surrendering them upon joining 'the family' where they attempted to adopt and live by the 'teachings' of Father Yod allowing him to rename them while giving up their identities and individuality to adhere to and abide by the groupthink of 'the family.'
It was virtually impossible to pursue your own career or your own life, while being in a cult such as The Source Family where individual accomplishment and personal achievement were nonexistent, unless it was acceptable and allowed within the confines of the group. Nobody took outside jobs or pursued outside careers while being in The Source Family, because everything and everyone revolved around the decisions and choices that Father Yod made for the entire group, which is why it felt so very liberating when 'the family' finally ended and being liberated from the restrictive and isolating dictates of one man and his 'council of women' where group compliance became an imperative. It felt exhilarating to make your own personal choices once again. A childlike dependence had ensued where everyone would go to Father Yod for every little thing looking to him and asking his consul and advice about virtually everything; something that Jim Baker was keen on doing and if you wanted to be in 'the brotherhood' you had to obey whatever dictate was handed down by the man we all called 'father'. There was no topic or subject that Father Yod would not broach, even instructing family members how to use/fold toilet paper and wipe their bottoms!
But, as more and more people began to join 'the brotherhood' it became necessary to have everyone look and behave in an homogeneous way where everyone began to dress alike, and everyone were allotted the most basic of accoutrements like a sleeping pad or mattress, a copy of Jim Baker's book Liberation; and the standard issue robe for the men, which was basically just a dress: a front and back sewed together at the sides, along with a 'meditation' shawl and for a time a coveted sheepskin to sit on during morning meditation. Those were the standard issue accoutrements given or allotted to anyone joining 'the brotherhood' in the early days when there was still plenty to go around. But as more and more people began to join 'the family' there were fewer and fewer resources and less accoutrements to go around and so unless someone still maintained connections outside of 'the family' and had access to money they simply got by or went without while in 'the family'. But, nobody went to the dentist or the eye doctor to get glasses; absolutely none of the everyday things that people do in normal society were done in The Source Family. Women did not have ultrasounds, or access to a gynecologist all of that was just not done, while in The Source Family.
Jim Baker wanted to be recognized as a great spiritual leader/teacher and an authority on health and nutrition and he wielded an unquestioning moral authority over his followers, and he relied on the most devoted around him to uphold and enforce his edicts and carry out his directives; something that every cult leader has found to be necessary. In every cult throughout history, the cult leader depended on their most loyal devotees to carry out their directives in order to hold sway over their followers.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
The Inure Circle
I had a conversation with someone recently who used the term 'inner circle' to make a distinction between me, whom she said was part of the 'outer circle' of The Source Family and those whom she had been lead to believe belonged to the 'inner circle'. Ha ha ha. Wow, I thought that person had really drunk the Kool-Aid and been influenced by the one person who perpetuates that kind of belief, in order to convince people of her own 'specialness' and perceived status of having been part of some imaginary 'inner circle'.
There was no 'inner circle' within The Source Family; only the imagination and obsessive need for one woman to convince people of her being above and more important than the rest of the riffraff in the family. What a load of hogwash! The term 'inner circle' is something that has been adopted and used by one person who has desperately wanted to differentiate herself from the other former 'family' members and saying that she belonged to the 'inner circle' helps her to achieve that. It also adds to the mystic of it being a mystery school where 'secret teachings' were being passed on to only the most deserving of initiates. But, the truth is; there was no 'inner circle' within The Source Family with the exception of a few women who were privy to seeing Jim Baker's junk more often than others, and having to watch him have sex with other women while being in the same room waiting their turn. Yeah, no thanks. I did not want to be part of THAT 'inner circle'. If anything, I would have called it an 'inured circle' of women who had to accept and habituate themselves to having to sit in the same room enduring Father Yod having sex with multiple women often with more than one at the same time!
There was certainly no 'inner circle' as if to convey a small cadre of people possessing esoteric secrets that the lesser 'family' members were not privy. How can you have an 'inner circle' when absolutely everyone knew what everyone else was doing?! All crammed together like sardines stacked on top of one another where everyone knew everyone's business. Although, claiming to have been part of an 'inner circle' does convey a sense of 'specialness' and being 'chosen'.
But, if I had to be part of a 'circle' within The Source Family, then the 'outer' one suited me just fine, because I wanted nothing to do with all of the machinations of some of Father Yod's 'women'. Yet, even the notion of there being an 'inner circle' within The Source Family would confirm the fact that a class system or clique of division grew from Father Yod claiming 'his women', along with a few of the men or sons whom he had nurtured, groomed and conveyed his largesse more than any of the others.
The entire dynamic of 'the family' where some acquired and had more than others was a complete contradiction to the 'aquarian' values that everyone belonged to 'one tribe' and where everything was shared equally. But, some egos thrive in having a sense of their own importance; especially if they can convince other people of their heightened importance. Father Yod did incessantly stroke people's egos by telling them how 'special' and 'chosen' and 'apart from the rest of humanity' they were, which helped to shore up their devotion and commitment to him, because feeling special, chosen and apart from the rest of humanity was a consistent theme of Father Yod's big talk.
Many people wanted to sit in Father Yod's presence all day long and be seen as invaluable to him at carrying out all of his orders or directives; some with an almost cruel precision. One former member told me about the time that he was supposed to do 'guard duty' at the compound on Kauai, but did not show up because he was sick, and when one of the 'inure circle' women confronted him she said to him, "you make me sick, you don't deserve to live" brutally chastising him for being unable to show up for guard duty. That was the gung-ho extremism and severity in carrying out Yahowha's edicts that some people in The Source Family willingly embraced. Because, anyone who didn't perform a task or duty given to them by Father Yod was seen as being weak and lacking the spiritual strength or resolve that some felt they possessed more than others. Spiritual elitism riding roughshod over those perceived to be lesser or weaker was rampant in 'the family.' There were a few bullies in The Source Family who would intimidate people and even force them to leave the group. That was the climate that existed in The Source Family and that produced a few who came out of the experience with the belief that they still belong to some imaginary 'inner circle' which has entitled them with a special position and special powers.
There was no 'inner circle' within The Source Family; only the imagination and obsessive need for one woman to convince people of her being above and more important than the rest of the riffraff in the family. What a load of hogwash! The term 'inner circle' is something that has been adopted and used by one person who has desperately wanted to differentiate herself from the other former 'family' members and saying that she belonged to the 'inner circle' helps her to achieve that. It also adds to the mystic of it being a mystery school where 'secret teachings' were being passed on to only the most deserving of initiates. But, the truth is; there was no 'inner circle' within The Source Family with the exception of a few women who were privy to seeing Jim Baker's junk more often than others, and having to watch him have sex with other women while being in the same room waiting their turn. Yeah, no thanks. I did not want to be part of THAT 'inner circle'. If anything, I would have called it an 'inured circle' of women who had to accept and habituate themselves to having to sit in the same room enduring Father Yod having sex with multiple women often with more than one at the same time!
There was certainly no 'inner circle' as if to convey a small cadre of people possessing esoteric secrets that the lesser 'family' members were not privy. How can you have an 'inner circle' when absolutely everyone knew what everyone else was doing?! All crammed together like sardines stacked on top of one another where everyone knew everyone's business. Although, claiming to have been part of an 'inner circle' does convey a sense of 'specialness' and being 'chosen'.
But, if I had to be part of a 'circle' within The Source Family, then the 'outer' one suited me just fine, because I wanted nothing to do with all of the machinations of some of Father Yod's 'women'. Yet, even the notion of there being an 'inner circle' within The Source Family would confirm the fact that a class system or clique of division grew from Father Yod claiming 'his women', along with a few of the men or sons whom he had nurtured, groomed and conveyed his largesse more than any of the others.
The entire dynamic of 'the family' where some acquired and had more than others was a complete contradiction to the 'aquarian' values that everyone belonged to 'one tribe' and where everything was shared equally. But, some egos thrive in having a sense of their own importance; especially if they can convince other people of their heightened importance. Father Yod did incessantly stroke people's egos by telling them how 'special' and 'chosen' and 'apart from the rest of humanity' they were, which helped to shore up their devotion and commitment to him, because feeling special, chosen and apart from the rest of humanity was a consistent theme of Father Yod's big talk.
Many people wanted to sit in Father Yod's presence all day long and be seen as invaluable to him at carrying out all of his orders or directives; some with an almost cruel precision. One former member told me about the time that he was supposed to do 'guard duty' at the compound on Kauai, but did not show up because he was sick, and when one of the 'inure circle' women confronted him she said to him, "you make me sick, you don't deserve to live" brutally chastising him for being unable to show up for guard duty. That was the gung-ho extremism and severity in carrying out Yahowha's edicts that some people in The Source Family willingly embraced. Because, anyone who didn't perform a task or duty given to them by Father Yod was seen as being weak and lacking the spiritual strength or resolve that some felt they possessed more than others. Spiritual elitism riding roughshod over those perceived to be lesser or weaker was rampant in 'the family.' There were a few bullies in The Source Family who would intimidate people and even force them to leave the group. That was the climate that existed in The Source Family and that produced a few who came out of the experience with the belief that they still belong to some imaginary 'inner circle' which has entitled them with a special position and special powers.
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