Sunday, October 22, 2017

An Aquarian Harvey Weinstein

Sadly, the case of Harvey Weinstein using his position of power and influence in Hollywood to sexually harass, abuse and take advantage of women around him did not come as a surprise.  The women who have finally decided to come forward with their stories about Harvey Weinstein reminds me though, of all of the women who were in The Source Family, who have chosen to remain silent and never come forward or publicly talk about the sexual abuse they suffered and endured in the hands of a man who saw himself as their spiritual 'father' and who used his position of 'spiritual' power to initiate sex with most all of the females who populated The Source Family at one time or another.  As in the case of Harvey Weinstein, it was also an open secret within The Source Family that Jim Baker initiated sex with one woman after the next, and also like Harvey Weinstein, Jim Baker was often naked and wanted women to give him a massage, and the same 'wall of secrecy' has surrounded revealing the extent of Jim Baker's sexual abuse of women---the same secrecy that surrounded Harvey Weinstein's behavior.  There are still some former Source Family members who want to maintain a 'wall of secrecy' especially about the sexual ritual called qudosh that was adopted by Jim Baker that he imposed on all of the women within 'the family' with the expectation for them to perform with the men or 'sons' in the family.  For me, it is tragic to see former Source Family members continue to defend and explain away Jim Baker's sexual predilection for grooming very young women to engage in sexual relationships with him and/or his 'sons'.

One woman like me who also spent years in The Source Family told me about the time that she went to 'Father Yod's' bedroom upstairs at The Father House seeking advice or solace about one of the men/'sons', and as soon as she sat down/lay down next to him (Jim Baker was often reclining or sitting in his room surrounded by women); he began kissing her and trying to initiate sex with her....much to her surprise and horror, because there were other women present in the room.....but, that never made any difference to 'Father Yod', because he touted that it was 'Aquarian' where women should be able to lower their inhibitions and engage in 'sex magic' with him in the presence of others.  The woman who recounted this episode to me, said that 'Father Yod's' advances made her so uncomfortable, and there was no way that she wanted to have sex with him, so she made up a reason to excuse herself from the room.  But, that was not the only story that women have shared with me about how 'Father Yod' initiated sex with them; others have told me how, "they never wanted to have sex with him....that sex with him was the last thing they wanted to do", but it was what was expected of them, and so Jim Baker was able to live out his sexual fantasies within his own 'Aquarian' cult he called a 'family', by imposing 'sex magic' as the most important of his made-up-along-the-way faux 'spiritual teachings'.

Those former members who continue to exalt and deify Jim Baker like to say that women were drawn to 'Father Yod' and physically attracted to him, because he was the most 'powerful' and 'magnetic' male and how women were always attracted to the most powerful men---a subject that Jim Baker would also constantly talk about.  But, the reality was that many of the women who Jim Baker sexually groomed were not physically attracted to him and only submitted, because he said it was necessary for their 'spiritual' growth.  Sexual abuse in the form of a loving, caring and 'spiritual' father figure.

The same scenario played out again and again in The Source Family where 'Father Yod' would either summon a woman to his room, or wait until they were alone with him and his 'other women' where he would invariably try to initiate sex; something that became part of the culture within The Source Family' and normalized as being acceptable behavior---the same thing that happened within Harvey Weinstein's companies.  Again, some former members will try and say that it was the 'women' who initiated sex with 'Father Yod' and that it was always consensual sex, but the culture that Jim Baker had created and nurtured within his 'family' was one where sex played a significant and major role, and the women were pressured by a group compliance that took hold, and were expected to be willing and receptive whenever 'Father Yod' ordered them to perform the sexual ritual qudosh----a debased sexual ritual based on some deviant and erroneous occult belief of Aleister Crowley's and adopted by Jim Baker, who believed that a woman was like the moon----barren and dark needing to have her cup filled by a 'sun/son' of 'Yahowha' which was an occult analogy of men ejaculating into a woman's vagina and 'filling her cup'.  The practice of qudosh (something which most ALL the women from 'the family' agree was disgusting) that was imposed by 'Father Yod' is the main reason that former members would rather maintain a 'wall of silence', but it is also the same kind of delusional belief that some former members are still trying to foist upon new followers, which is difficult for me to see happening.  I've read/seen where a couple of men are claiming to be 'second generation' Source Family members, after being handed out or choosing for themselves an 'Aquarian Source Family' name saying how they are part of some 'initiatory circle'.  It's time that the truth is told, in order to stop perpetuating sexual abuse veiled as being occult or esoteric 'secrets' and exposed for the mistreatment and abuse of women that it was.

Harvey Weinstein's case is shining a huge Hollywood spotlight on the culture of men using their power, fame and fortune to extort sexual favors from the women around them, and Jim Baker was no different----he just hid behind the persona of being a 'spiritual father and teacher' who claimed he had returned to earth to gather his children and spread his teachings about the 'new age' and create the 'Aquarian race', and being the owner of a very successful vegetarian restaurant and looking the part of a modern day Moses/he used the profits from his restaurant to support and finance his own 'family' or cult of personality.  Because very shortly after the formation of Jim Baker's family cult, he began grooming one of the first young women (a teenager) to help him fulfill his misguided vision that he was supposed to create the 'Aquarian race'.  I really wish that other women would come forward to share their stories like I have done, rather than remaining silent in fear of being judged or looked down upon by those fervid former members who insist that airing the 'dirty laundry' of The Source Family should not be done.  Just like women in Harvey Weinstein's company who were expected to maintain silence, and who suffered from various forms of PTSD, there are many women who had sexually abusive experiences in The Source Family and are expected to maintain silence.

I have written before, about how shocked I was when one woman who had joined The Source Family when she was a teenager stated to me that Jim Baker had, "raped her and ruined her life."  I was actually stunned when she said that to me, because I had shared/swapped stories with many other 'sisters'/women from the family, but no one had ever come out and said that she had been raped.  But, that woman will never come forward or openly tell her story, because of the pressure and judgmental attitude of other former members who believe that we should remain silent about 'Father Yod's' sexual activities and just leave it in the past.  Some women do not want to be seen as a 'traitor' by openly revealing how they may have suffered, while in The Source Family.  But, as for me; I don't give a damn about trying to maintain some kind of phony hero worship of Jim Baker or promoting The Source Family as being some kind of example of healthy 'new age' living.

Several years ago there was a private website meant only for former 'Source Family' members where the two people administering to the site had become 'spiritual' surrogates of 'Yahowha' tried to get former members on the site to agree to 'stick to the same script', which meant agreeing on the same idealized and sanitized storyline which left out anything that some regard as the 'dirty laundry' of The Source Family.  This was just before the film came out in 2012.  I was even verbally chastised by one of the producers of the film for speaking out and not toeing-the-source-family-line which she believed was to maintain and promote some imaginary 'Source Family values', because there are some who basically 'drank the Kool-Aid' about Father Yod and think/believe that former members like me should adhere to only 'positive' statements about the experience---one that leaves out the darker and more disturbing aspects like babies dying without medical attention or the most important of Jim Baker's delusional 'teachings' which involved ingesting the menstrual blood of women!  How could anyone leave those two very important elements out of the story of The Source Family??!!

Since The Source Family ended/disbanded after Jim Baker died, I have stayed in contact and reconnected with many women from the cult, and I have never had a conversation with one of them where Father Yod hadn't sexually penetrated them or continually tried, it became a common theme among all of the women who populated The Source Family, just as in the case of Harvey Weinstein and the women who were in his company.  Although, there are still a few women who cherish the sexual relationship they had with Jim Baker and continue to exalt in his memory.  Jim Baker relied on the loyalty and commitment of the 'sons' and 'daughters' who surrounded him, which were the familial terms that he used for all of the men and women who comprised his pseudo family, and expecting women to perform 'sex magic' with him helped him to maintain his power and control.  Many gurus and 'spiritual teachers' had done exactly the same thing as Jim Baker, although most of the time it was kept hidden from view.  Just like Harvey Weinstein, gurus and 'spiritual' teachers have used their perceived power and influence to take sexual advantage of the people around them.  It's something that has been going on historically for a very, very long time and more than not, is seen as acceptable even normal behavior, or at best something to never be spoken of.  It's still a sad state of affairs, how men like Harvey Weinstein and Jim Baker believed that their elevated status and positions of power automatically meant that women should be receptive to their sexual advances and so they would continually seize every opportunity to satisfy their own carnal needs and desires.

I was recently contacted by a young woman, who had gotten involved with a guy whose parents claimed to have been in The Source Family, and soon found herself caught up in a sordid threesome forced to perform qudosh with a couple of guys who wanted to practice the deviant sexual ritual that Jim Baker had adopted from Aleister Crowley and touted as being a 'sacred occult teaching'.  The young woman was finally able to escape the situation, but feeling traumatized by the experience she began searching online about The Source Family and found my blog and reached out to me asking for help in understanding and making sense of what had happened to her.  The young woman felt that she had been sexually abused by two men who took advantage of her free-spirited, loving and giving female nature (the same loving, free-spirited nature that many young women had during The Source Family) and expected her to perform the sexual ritual of qudosh with both of them!  It was the same kind of deviant sexual practice that Jim Baker had expected women in 'the family' to perform with multiple men/'sons'.  In wanting to regain her own personal power and to try and make sense of what she had experienced, the young woman began searching online and found me, and so I will continue in my efforts to expose the sexual abuse of women that was hidden behind a veil or smokescreen of being 'sacred, occult teachings' which Jim Baker imposed on his cult followers back in the 70's.