Sunday, January 17, 2016

Willful Denial and Ignorance

It astounds me the degree to which some former 'source family' cult members have willfully chosen to remain ignorant to just how detrimental life in The Source Family became; who dismiss the personal accounts of the people who populated 'the family', because it doesn't line up with their need to hold tightly to a more idealized and fantasized narrative or storyline.  But, maintaining the approved party line or groupthink is what happens after someone unwittingly joins a cult and becomes indoctrinated or brainwashed to such an extent that they are unable to hear or accept the truth about the cult, even when confronted with reality and the truth about something, and so they remain in a state of denial and continue to attach and use made up fanciful religious-sounding or spiritualized meanings to their idealized narrative, in a desperate attempt by some to keep it going; which is why some former 'source' people cling to the past and continue to mouth and repeat the same phrases and sayings that were used incessantly 45 years ago in The Source Family when it was in existence.  The cognitive dissonance created within some former 'source family' cult members when faced with the truth, is just too great; so some are unable to either accept the fact that they were part of a cult, or that they followed a man who took them down an unhealthy, isolating path where only 'magical thinking' prevailed.  An excellent example of the cognitive dissonance of cult followers is the case of polygamous FLDS leader Warren Jeffs, where even though in the face of personal accounts by several of the young people who Jeffs sexually abused as their 'spiritual leader' and his subsequent arrest and conviction; people still continue to worship and praise him as being their messianic leader!  But, I was able to deprogram myself from the magical thinking and false beliefs and hero-worship of Jim Baker which were indicative of life in 'the source family' cult; where an abundance of useless, vacuous and misleading magical constructs were willingly adopted and practiced, under the direction and guidance of Jim Baker.  But, some former cult members are incapable of either denouncing Jim Baker or accepting the fact that we were all part of a cult or that being in that cult resulted in the deaths of infants and the sexual abuse and misuse of multiple women, resulting in the long-term emotional damage to many individuals who are to this day still struggling with the fact that they allowed themselves to participate in what are now seen as disgusting and deviant sexual practices imposed by their 'spiritual' mentor and so-called earthly spiritual father, Jim Baker; and how the health and well-being of their own children was put at risk, in order to follow and obey the misguided and delusional beliefs of Jim Baker that no 'family' member should use modern medicine or seek medical help, which resulted in deaths and disfigurements due to untreated staph infections, loss of hearing, long-term health problems; and the post-source family downward spiral of many into extended drug and alcohol abuse, the negative results which are still seen today.  Which is why it is sad, yet remarkable that some former 'family' members continue to worship and exalt Jim Baker and chose only to give glowing, magical accounts of their time spent in The Source Family!  I guess the need for some to perpetuate the belief that being in The Source Family was a wonderful, magical place and that Jim Baker was god or a savior is the only way that some can quell the cognitive dissonance that ensues when faced with the harsh realities and truths and personal testimonies of so many former 'source family' members who refuse to feign or pretend that the experience was all happiness and light.  Much of the same kinds of pseudo-spiritual posturing and attention-seeking behavior exhibited by Father Yod/Yahowha is being seen in some former cult members who cling to the past as though crystallized in it; people who have either been unable or unwilling to deprogram themselves from the cult groupspeak and groupthink that prevailed in The Source Family, when it existed over forty years ago.  Some may ask, "where's the harm?" if a few rabid followers of 'Yahowha' want to continue holding reunions to congregate and have people come to celebrate the cult they belonged to over 40 years ago, along with praising their leader, Yahowha? The harm is that those who continue to celebrate life in The Source Family, along with worshipful reverence being paid to Father Yod/Yahowha only choose to perpetuate the glamorized Hollywood version in order to enthrall and hopefully attract new converts to the 'church of Yahowha', while willfully denying and/or hiding the actual truths and realities of what really went on in the family; like the deaths of infants, which have been glossed-over with some 'source family' rhetoric about 'the soul passing over', or the 'soul's journey' or any number of made up 'spiritual' spins or explanations to obscure or hide and not divulge the truth of what really happened! I believe that it is dishonest to continue to present Jim Baker as being some kind of wise and holy man, or to present life in The Source Family as being a healthy ideal for anyone to aspire; when our leader repeatedly transgressed the personal boundaries of young women in his role as spiritual mentor or 'father' in order to have ongoing sexual relations with them, and how he was able to go about his day pretending to be a great and wise spiritual leader, as women fawned and pandered over him at The Father House in Los Angeles while not one, but two infants on separate occasions desperately needed medical attention which they did not receive, and who both subsequently died because of Jim Baker's harmful and derelict edict that 'source family' members not seek or use modern medicine or seek any outside medical treatment!  It is my feeling that the realities and truth about what went on in The Source Family is what is now needed 45 years out; not only for former family members to make sense of their experience of having followed Jim Baker for years, but even more for the offspring and children of Jim Baker and others to understand what really happened, rather than be expected to just go along with the illusion that everything was either ideal or utopian.  Being a former longtime 'source family' member, it is my feeling rather than promoting and perpetuating more 'magical' nonsense and an idealized version of The Source Family being some kind of dreamland; it would be better to tell the truth and leave the misguided 'teachings' and 'beliefs' of Father Yod in the past where they belong, rather than trying to bring them forward into the present in order to repeat that past.